Dearly Beloved
by Broedy
Summary: Follows the lives of Kid, Lou and their children. Set after Silencing the Past and A New Life.
1. Chapter 1

Dearly Beloved

**Dearly Beloved**

_Author's note: This story follows on from my previous fics Silencing the Part and A New Life, but it is not necessary to have read them for this one._

Sweetwater, Wyoming Territory

June 1884

James Hunter Morgan waited patiently for the locomotive to come to a stop before slipping from the barrel upon which he'd been waiting for the past half hour. Having picked up all the family's supplies from the general store there was little to do but wait for the train which, if today was a typical day, could be hours late to arrive. There was always the temptation of a little female company in the saloons just a few yards away, but his visit to town was for another purpose. Besides, his mother always knew whenever he frequented a saloon – she would get a certain look in her eyes as soon as she saw him, as if she knew every detail. It was unnerving for anyone, let alone a 22-year-old man, to have his mother know that.

Truth be told Jamie was not much interested in saloons. He preferred his family's ranch, being out in the paddocks with the horses and the peace and quiet. The noisy town with its many pleasant diversions were all right every now and then but he knew he was built for ranch life.

How his brother enjoyed living in St. Louis Jamie would never understand. Adam had been there for the past two years and seemed to thrive, although that probably had more to do with his medical studies than any wonders of city life. Jamie marveled at the great love his brother had for learning, when he himself could not wait to leave school so he could work alongside his father. Adam had chosen to go to college instead of joining the family business, something their parents seemed wholly unfazed about. They took great pride in his academic achievements, as if they always knew he was destined for a different life from that of their other children.

A great gust of steam blasted from the train as it finally creaked to a stop at the Sweetwater station, and immediately people stepped out onto the platform. Everyone disembarked, regardless if they were staying or not, relieved to have a moment to stretch their legs and escape the unrelenting sway of the locomotive. That was another thing Jamie didn't understand – choosing to take a train anywhere instead of riding. Nothing compared to actually experiencing one's surroundings on the back of a good horse.

Through the small crowd he spied a familiar dark hat in a city style that few men wore in Sweetwater. Jamie grinned as he pushed forward to meet his brother. Adam was dressed in a grey suit, no doubt sweltering in the heat of the confined train but looking every bit the young medical student.

"Hey, doc!" Jamie yelled above the noise of the passengers, and was greeted with a wan smile.

"It's still too soon to be calling me that, you know," Adam replied, tipping his hat back on his head to reveal sweat-soaked dark hair. "Not for another year."

"Close enough." Jamie shrugged as he pulled his brother into a tight hug. In fact he'd started using the nickname since Adam first announced he was going to become a doctor several years earlier.

"How you been, little brother? Don't they feed you in St Louis?" Jamie was always ribbing Adam about his slender build which was considerably smaller than his own. He was almost a foot shorter than Jamie, who was his elder by two years, and definitely favored their mother in coloring where Jamie was the image of their father.

"Can't all be Hercules like you," Adam said, pleased to see his brother again after such a long absence. His studies had prevented him from returning home at Christmas when he'd chosen to remain in St Louis to work in the hospital there. It had been almost a year since he'd seen his family. He was closest to Jamie in many ways so Adam was especially glad it was he who had come to town to meet the train.

"Let's get your trunk, you know Ma's gonna be wearin' a hole in the porch waitin' for ya."

"In a minute, first I want to introduce you," Adam said with mounting excitement in his voice. He turned around and stood on his toes to peer through the crowd, then waved to a young man.

The other man made his way over to Adam and Jamie, hampered by the cases he was carrying in each hand. One was a medical bag and the other appeared to be a picnic hamper, which explained his rotund waist and reddened face, thought Jamie. It wasn't until the man set the bags down with a puff of his round cheeks that Jamie saw the young woman who accompanied him.

"Jamie, this is my friend from medical school, Rudy Betts. And this is his sister, Elizabeth… Beth," said Adam. "My brother, Jamie."

"James," he corrected as he shook Rudy's hand but was looking over his shoulder at Beth.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, James," she replied with a smile, shaking his hand.

Jamie grinned, appreciating her blond hair and blue eyes. He looked questioningly at his brother.

"I've been telling Rudy and Beth so much about Sweetwater that they decided to come and see it for themselves," Adam explained.

"Well, the more the merrier." Jamie again addressed Beth rather than her portly brother. "Any friends of Adam's are welcome at the Morgan ranch."

"Oh, we couldn't impose," said Beth quickly, glancing at Adam. "We'll be quite all right at the hotel, won't we, Rudy?"

"Anywhere is fine with me, as long as it's out of this sun," her brother grumbled in response, obviously uncomfortable in his three piece suit.

"We'll get you settled in at the hotel so you can freshen up, then we'll collect you later and bring you to the ranch for supper," Adam said.

A hint of color appeared on Beth's cheeks. "Tomorrow is fine, there's no rush."

"Tonight is better," Adam countered with a smile.

Jamie watched the exchange with interest. He had never known Adam to have any female friends... let alone a pretty female friend who would come all the way to Sweetwater to visit his home. As a child Adam was always too busy studying to have many friends, save his brother and sister.

"Tonight then," said Rudy, determined to make the decision so they could make their way out of the sun.

After they collected their cases Adam and Jamie took the visitors to the closest hotel. Jamie helped Rudy with their trunks and had to wait while Adam and Beth spoke quietly in the corner, no doubt finalizing the plans for their collection later that afternoon. She and Adam shared a smile before Beth nodded a hurried farewell. She and Rudy disappeared up the stairs.

Jamie was leaning against the wagon as Adam emerged from the hotel, placing his hat back on his head.

"What?" the younger man said in response to the grin on Jamie's face.

"Care to explain what's goin' on, doc?"

Adam took his seat on the wagon. "Can't a man have friends come visit sometimes?"

"Sure he can. Seems to me he could have telegraphed ahead to let his family know so's we could make room for 'em at home."

Adam was silent for a few moments. "Beth didn't it think it proper until Ma and Pa had met her. And Rudy," he added hastily.

"Uh huh," said Jamie, looking slyly at his brother who was avoiding his gaze.

"We wanted to do things properly." Adam's cheeks burned, and it had nothing to do with the hot sun. "Because I've asked Beth to marry me."

Jamie laughed as he congratulated him, clapping him on the back. "Oh, you're in for it now," he chuckled.

"What's wrong with getting married?"

"Oh, nothin' at all. But you're gonna have to tell Ma you went and got engaged without her knowin'."

Adam laughed, unsure what he was talking about, but then remembered that their mother hated being the last to know anything when it came to her children. Jamie grinned as he saw a hint of fear enter his brother's eyes.

"Welcome home, doc."


	2. Chapter 2

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 2**

Lou had given up pacing the porch of the ranch house while waiting impatiently for Adam's arrival. She made her way over to the corral where her husband and a couple of the ranch hands were selecting a few horses to be sold that afternoon.

She watched them for a while, admiring the stock. They were beautiful horses, the best in the area. Lou was proud of their ranch, proud of everything she and Kid had achieved since returning to Sweetwater some 22 years earlier. They had come a long way since then, created a successful business that afforded them a comfortable lifestyle, and raised their children. She almost forgot the early days of their marriage when they struggled to establish the ranch with their meager savings. They'd always been happy though, despite their hardships, and Lou knew things would be even better now that Adam was coming home for a visit.

In the corral Kid caught her eye and smiled, but she could barely return the expression as anticipation clouded her features. Kid slowly walked over to her, giving one of the ranch hands final instructions on which horses to ready for sale. He slipped his arms through the fence opposite his wife.

"Train's gonna be in soon, huh?" he said casually, knowing she had been growing more and more impatient for Adam's return since early that morning.

"Maybe," Lou replied with a hint of skepticism. "It could be delayed. Nate said it was more than half a day late last week."

"Jamie will get him here as fast as he can."

"I know. It's just it's been so long since we've seen him and these past few days have felt like weeks."

Kid exited the corral and slid his arm around her waist as he walked her back towards the house.

"It'll be nice havin' him home, won't it?"

Lou only managed half smile in response. She missed Adam terribly, for all that she was proud of his achievements. She hated that he was so far from home. She found it hard not to think of him as the small boy who'd always been by her side. Adam had always needed her more than her eldest son. Having almost lost him to illness as a boy, Lou had been especially protective of him. Now he was all alone in a big city and she worried about him, concerned that he wasn't taking care of himself because he was studying so hard.

The yelling of two boys broke her reverie and she looked over at the youngest of her children – the only two who were still children, really, as Jamie and Adam were no longer in their teens and Charlie, her only daughter, had just turned seventeen.

Jake and Ethan were nine and ten, born less than a year apart when neither she nor Kid thought there would be any more children. After Charlie there were no pregnancies and Lou was content with her small brood. The boys' arrivals had certainly stirred things up at the ranch. They were the best of friends and the worst of enemies, more like twins with their secretive play and methods of communication that their older siblings did not share or had exhibited growing up.

"Boys, come on in the house now," Lou called to them. "Your brother will be home soon."

"Aw, Ma, can't we keep playin' 'til Adam gets here?" Ethan whined.

"You're both a mess, you need to get cleaned up."

"Do as your ma says," Kid intoned.

"Yessir," the boys replied. Ethan managed to dump a final handful of dirt down the front of Jake's shirt before he ran inside, his brother at his heels and promising revenge.

Kid smiled to himself and shook his head. Jake and Ethan were by far the wildest of their children, and would no doubt prove to be even more of a handful as they grew.

"Where's Charlie? Ain't she back yet?" Lou asked, scanning the yard for their daughter.

"She's still out ridin', I ain't seen her since breakfast."

"I told her not to stay out long, she knows Adam is due in soon," said Lou, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

Though she wouldn't admit it, Charlie had grown up so much like Lou that there was often conflict between mother and daughter. Charlie, having been raised with only brothers, had always been a tomboy. Even now as she entered womanhood she refused to conform to ladylike behavior that would certainly have allowed her to fit in more with the other girls in town. Lou had experienced a similar sort of ostracism during her days of riding for the Pony Express and, while she wholeheartedly supported and encouraged her daughter's independence, she also wanted her to have friends. Charlie was more at home with the horses than any of the girls she had gone to school with. Lou knew she was lonely.

"It's all right, here she is now," Kid said, nodding towards the rider cantering towards the house.

Within a few moments Charlie drew her favorite horse up at the hitching post and slid from the mare's back. She was completely disheveled and dusty, her dark hair sticking out messily from beneath Lou's old hat which Charlie had appropriated over the years.

"Is he here yet?" Charlie asked breathlessly as she looped the reins over the post.

"Not yet," replied Lou, casting a critical eye over Charlie's dirty pants and shirt that she always wore riding. She rarely wore anything else, at least while she was on the ranch. "You're plannin' to change, I hope."

"Of course, Mama," Charlie tutted. The last thing she wanted was to get into an argument about her clothes again. She was too excited about Adam's return to worry about such trivial matters.

"How was your ride, sweetheart?" Kid interjected, ever the peacemaker.

"It was wonderful, Papa, we made it all the way to the bluff and she was barely out of breath. Were you, Skydancer?" Charlie petted her mare's neck affectionately.

"I'll get her brushed down while you go change," her father offered.

"Thank you." Charlie grinned and kissed his cheek before running into the house.

"And put on a skirt, Charlotte!" called Lou after her, but she knew Charlie wouldn't.

Kid hid the smile that had formed on his lips when Lou sighed in exasperation at their daughter. It wouldn't pay to remind Lou that she had been just as stubborn about such things not so long ago.

"I'll see you inside," he said as he unhitched Skydancer from the rail. "And don't worry, Lou, it won't be long now."

"I know, he'll be here soon." Lou tried to smile but her eyes were busy watching the horizon for the first sign of a wagon. Only then, once she had seen Adam for herself, would she be happy.


	3. Chapter 3

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 3**

Adam's arrival at the ranch was a boisterous affair, thanks to Ethan and Jake who yelled their hellos from their bedroom window on the top floor of the ranch house. Soon Adam was enveloped by his parents and siblings who all hugged him and started firing questions at him so all he could do was laugh and say how much he'd missed them all. Once they'd finally gotten inside and Adam had detached his two youngest brothers from his legs (who were already asking about presents he might have brought them), he sat down in the parlor with a happy smile plastered on his face. He was finally home.

"You look tired," Lou commented, handing him some lemonade and sitting beside him.

"I'm fine, Ma," replied Adam patiently.

"You're not workin' too hard, are you?"

"He's fine, Mama," Charlie interrupted from her place on Adam's other side. "Did you see my sorrel in the corral? That's Skydancer."

Before Adam could open his mouth to respond, his father spoke. "How's St. Louis? And the college?"

"Busy," Adam said with a sigh. "Truth is I'm glad to be home, even if it's only for a couple of weeks."

"I knew it, you have been workin' too hard," said Lou.

"What did you bring us?" Jake asked as he started unstrapping Adam's trunk, Ethan providing instructions on how to undo the clasps.

"What makes you think I brought anything for you two?" Adam grinned as he got up to join them.

"Aw, Adam you always do!"

"All right, let's take a look." Adam knelt down in front of the trunk and dug around inside for a few moments. Then he withdrew a couple of leather bound books which he presented to Jake and Ethan.

The boys accepted the items with some disappointment.

"This is _The Swiss Family Robinson_, and this one is brand new: _The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn_. They should suit your adventurous yearnings," Adam said.

"Thanks," Ethan replied half-heartedly. Both boys preferred the dime novels their Uncle Cody sent them regularly – ones that usually featured Cody himself and that he'd autographed for the boys. Long, boring books were another matter entirely.

"Here you go, don't forget these too." Adam grinned as the boys cheered when they saw the bags of candy he had also brought them – city-bought, fancy candy you couldn't get in Sweetwater. Both boys raced upstairs to explore their loot, shouting their thanks to Adam as they did so.

For Charlie he had brought a large mortar and pestle.

"Thought you could use this for the poultices you make for the horses," he explained. "They're the same ones we use at college."

"I love it," Charlie gasped at the handsome gift.

Adam finished handing out gifts to the rest of the family, not forgetting Mrs. Greig, their housekeeper. She rewarded Adam with a kiss on the cheek and the promise of his favorite dessert for supper.

"Are you hungry? Or would you prefer to rest a little?" Lou asked, still fussing over him.

"Actually, I'd just like to sit here a while and enjoy being home," said Adam as he took his seat on the couch once more.

In the corner of the room, Jamie finished his glass of lemonade and fixed his brother with a mischievous grin, dimples appearing on his cheeks.

"Why don't you tell them your news, doc?"

Adam immediately blushed.

"What news?" Lou asked eagerly. She was hoping perhaps he'd decided to finish his medical studies with Dr. Browne, the town doctor, which meant he would be home a year earlier from college than originally planned.

"I wanted to tell you later, over supper," Adam said hesitantly, shooting his brother a 'thanks for nothing' glare. "I've brought some friends from St. Louis with me. They wanted to meet you all and see Sweetwater."

"Where are they?"

"In town, at the hotel, but if it's all right with you, Ma, I'd like to bring them home for supper tonight."

"Of course it is," Lou replied as she refilled his glass from the pitcher of lemonade. "Who are these friends of yours?"

"Do you remember my friend from medical school, Rudy Betts?"

"You've mentioned him in a few letters. He's the one whose family you stayed with over the holidays?"

"That's right," Adam continued, increasingly embarrassed. "In fact, I've been spending a lot of time with the family. Rudy and his sister, especially."

"It's good to have friends in the city," Kid commented.

Lou's eyes suddenly narrowed at the mention of a sister. Adam had not included any reference to her in his letters home.

"Rudy has a sister?" she asked.

"Yes, Elizabeth. Beth." Adam smiled nervously. "She and Rudy both came on the train with me."

Lou just raised an eyebrow in response.

"The thing is, Beth and I are engaged to be married."

"What?" Lou cried, drawing her breath in sharply.

"Married?" Charlie asked in surprise.

"That's right." Adam glanced between his sister and mother who seemed shocked at the news. Jamie just grinned from his chair in the corner. It was his father who broke the awkward silence.

"Congratulations, son!" Kid pulled Adam from his seat and hugged him tightly. Charlie reluctantly followed suit. Lou, however, remained on the sofa.

"Isn't it excitin' news, Lou?" Kid asked her pointedly when she still had not spoken.

"When are you plannin' to get married?" she inquired instead.

"Not until next year, after I graduate."

"That's a good idea," Kid nodded. "Isn't it, Lou? And we'll meet her this evenin'?"

"I'll fetch them both from town a little later on, after they've had a chance to freshen up." Adam glanced down at Lou, all too aware that she still hadn't responded. "If you're sure it's all right, Ma."

Lou tried to smile but her expression was hardly joyous. "Of course it is."

"Thank you."

Lou finally stood and straightened Adam's collar. "Congratulations," she said as cheerfully as she could. "This is certainly big news."

"I know, I didn't mean to surprise you all. But you'll love Beth, you'll see."

Lou's lips twitched again but no smile was forthcoming this time. It was hard to believe that Adam – her gentle, shy Adam – had gone and gotten engaged. It was the last thing she'd expected and couldn't help but be disappointed that the welcome home family dinner she'd been planning for weeks would now include two strangers… one of whom was going to be her daughter-in-law. Lou suddenly realized she had better check in with Mrs. Greig to ensure everything was in readiness. It was as good an excuse as any to remove herself from the room.

"I'll just go and see to dinner… We'll need to set a couple of extra places."

"Thanks, Ma." Adam kissed her cheek, wanting her to be okay with his decision.

As Lou left the room, Adam was faced with a grumpy looking Charlie who was also not entirely pleased that her brother's attention was to be diverted during his visit home.

"What do you want to go and get married for?" she asked with disdain all too evident in her voice.

Adam just sighed.


	4. Chapter 4

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 4**

Supper that evening was a tense affair. The whole family sat around their large dining table, which was a rare occurrence, dressed in their Sunday best, which was even rarer. After Kid welcomed their visitors with a short toast, the only sound to be heard was the clinking of cutlery on china. Beth glanced around at the family she was marrying into and grew even more unsettled than she had been arriving at the ranch for the first time.

"I hope your trip wasn't too hard," Kid said in an attempt to get the conversation started.

Beth looked down the table at him and realized that, although the statement had been addressed to both herself and Rudy, her brother was too busy eating to respond.

"It was quite an adventure," she replied a little timidly. "I've never traveled so far from home before."

"There was plenty to see, wasn't there?" Adam chimed in after another silence had fallen.

Never one to be particularly verbose, Adam was struggling to make small talk and looked hopefully to the others to take the lead. Unfortunately his mother had only been coolly polite upon meeting Beth and Rudy, and had said very little since. Charlie was openly out of sorts and resentful at having been made to wear a dress for the occasion. Even Ethan and Jake, usually talkative, had picked up on the uncomfortable atmosphere and were trying to eat as quickly as possible so they could leave the table.

"What are your plans while you're here, doc?" Jamie asked, when it was clear no one was going to comment further on the train trip to Sweetwater.

Adam wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Well, I'd like to show Beth and Rudy around the area."

"The ranch is very beautiful, from what I've seen," Beth said, directing her words to both Kid and Lou but only receiving a smiling acknowledgment from the former.

"Dr. Browne promised I could make some calls with him, and Rudy is interested in seeing how we do things out here. Isn't that right?"

"Oh, yes," replied Rudy, swallowing a large mouthful. "Our grandfather has a practice in St. Louis and I've only ever been exposed to work in the hospital. This should be quite… enlightening."

Lou bristled at the condescension in Rudy's voice, but Kid swiftly spoke up before she could counter with an acerbic retort.

"D'you ride, Miss Betts?"

"Oh… a little. That is, I used to as a girl but it's been some years since I've done much riding."

"Well, it ain't somethin' you forget," said Kid cheerily. "We've got plenty of gentle horses you could ride. I'm sure Charlie could take you out, show you around, while the boys are off with Doc Browne."

Charlie glowered at the offer and opened her mouth to protest.

"Couldn't you, Charlie?" Kid continued firmly, a smile still on his lips.

The girl would have argued, if not for the fact that she knew she wouldn't win. Her father would not stand for people being discourteous so instead she smiled falsely at Kid.

"Of course, Father."

"Good." Kid grinned at his daughter before picking up a serving bowl. "More potatoes, anyone?"

Jamie accepted the offer and passed the bowl onto Rudy who also helped himself.

"How are you findin' the hotel?" Jamie asked.

"Quite pleasant," Rudy replied magnanimously. "Certainly nicer than I'd anticipated. Although the noise from the saloon next door might prove disruptive if this afternoon's entertainment is anything to go by."

"Yeah, it can get lively," chuckled Jamie. "But don't worry, the marshal's office ain't but a few yards away. Although, it's more likely you'll find him in the saloon in the centre of the ruckus than not."

"It's not that bad," Adam told Beth quietly. "He's just teasing."

"The hell I am," Jamie said jovially, before bobbing his head briefly in apology to Beth for his language. "Deputies had to lock up Marshal Wallace in the jail last week to sleep it off, after he…"

"He was not locked up," Kid interjected before Jamie could add any colorful details. "They just wanted to keep an eye on him because he wasn't feelin' too well."

Jamie shook his head, laughing silently. He said no more, however, because the facts were not fit conversation for the dinner table, nor for mixed company.

"Town ain't that wild, Miss Betts," Kid went on. "But maybe you should both come stay here… We got the room, and it makes sense that you stay here. That way we can get to know you better."

Lou's knife and fork clattered onto her plate as she stared at her husband. He frowned back at her in response.

Beth blushed. "Oh, that's very kind of you, Mr. Morgan, but we're quite all right at the hotel…"

"No, Pa's right, Beth," said Adam, grinning in appreciation at his father.

Lou finally spoke up. "Adam, perhaps Miss Betts and her brother would be more comfortable where they are. After all, there's more to do in town."

"But we're only here for two weeks. And if Rudy and I are going on calls with Doc Browne…"

"There'll be company here for Beth," finished Kid.

"Really, we don't want to put anyone out," Beth continued helplessly. She knew very well that Adam's family was not entirely happy with the sudden news of their engagement.

"You won't be puttin' anyone out."

"I can sleep in the bunkhouse, so Adam and Rudy can have my room," offered Jamie.

"We can sleep in the bunkhouse too!" Ethan joined in.

"You'll stay in the house, the both of you," Lou replied sternly, which earned disappointed utterances from the two young boys.

"You can share with Charlie, Miss Betts," said Kid. "There's an extra bed in her room."

This was too much for Charlie. "But Papa!"

"But nothing… we have guests, Charlie." Kid ignored her indignant huff. "So, that's settled then. Adam can take you back to the hotel tonight so you can pack, and we'll collect you tomorrow to get you settled in."

Adam looked expectantly at Beth and she could not help but smile at the happiness the decision had brought him. He took her hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"If you're sure, Mrs. Morgan?" Beth asked finally, looking to the end of the table where Lou was silent once more.

Lou smiled but the expression did not reach her eyes. "Of course, we'd be pleased to have you stay with us."


	5. Chapter 5

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 5**

Later that night, Lou lay in bed wide awake. Every so often she would sigh audibly, loud enough that her husband could hear. When he didn't respond she glanced at him, barely able to make out his features in the darkened room. His eyes were shut but his breathing had not deepened into that of sleep, so she knew he was still awake.

"You gonna keep that up all night?" he said eventually, after another pointed sigh.

"What?" she replied softly, feigning innocence.

"I can hear your mind tickin' over from here." Kid kept his voice low so they wouldn't be overheard. "You're not upset I asked them to stay, are you? I should have checked with you first."

Lou was staring at the ceiling, her arms crossed over her chest.

"No, it was the right thing to do. We couldn't leave them at the hotel. Although I think it'll be a while before Charlie forgives you."

"Well, she's gotta get used to havin' a sister some time. Might as well be now."

Lou frowned at the mention of 'sister'. "Don't you think it's all a little sudden?"

"What?"

She sighed in frustration this time, knowing Kid was being purposely obtuse. "Adam gettin' engaged."

"No."

"He's too young."

"He's older than we were when we got married."

"That's different," she said dismissively. "He still has his studies to finish, set up a practice. He doesn't have a house of his own yet."

"Nor did we, if you recall."

"We don't know anythin' about her."

"I imagine that's why she and her brother have come to Sweetwater for a visit."

Annoyed that he was determined to counter her protestations with rational responses, she argued: "Well, what if she doesn't like it here? Sweetwater's a sight different to St. Louis. What if she asks Adam to stay there?"

Kid thought about this for a moment, shifting onto his back too. "I guess Adam will have to make that decision for himself. We can't keep him here."

"But he's always said he'd be a doctor here, close to the family."

"Sometimes things change, I guess." He looked at his wife, seeing the worry in her eyes. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Lou. He hasn't said anythin' about not comin' home. Give him some time."

Lou shifted closer to Kid, nestling against his chest as his arm drew around her.

"It wouldn't hurt if you were a little nicer to her, you know," he whispered.

"I was nice."

"You've barely said two words to her."

Lou knew he was speaking the truth, but she didn't like it. "Maybe I need some time, too."

"Fair enough." Believing his words had sufficiently reassured her and she was going to try and get some sleep, Kid pressed his lips to her temple and murmured a 'good night'.

"I still think he's too young," Lou announced after less than a minute's silence.

It was Kid's turn to sigh.

"Jamie's older and he's never even courted someone seriously," she continued.

"Jamie's too concerned with the ranch. It wouldn't hurt him to find someone and settle down."

"Why are you suddenly so keen to marry off your children? Next you'll be onto Charlie."

"Now that's different. She is too young."

"Same age as I was when we…"

"That's different," Kid repeated more firmly, which prompted a smile from Lou. She knew he wouldn't be so receptive to the notion of his only daughter leaving home. Kid's naturally protective nature would be in overdrive when that day came.

An unfamiliar wave of melancholy washed over Lou. Adam's announcement had upset everything – she had to face up to the fact that things were changing, their eldest children were grown now, and their family would never be the same again.

"Face it, Kid," Lou said softly, "we're getting' old."

"That we are… grandma," he replied teasingly.

Lou immediately raised herself onto one elbow, fixing him with a glare. "What did you call me?"

"Well, won't be long before there'll be grandchildren."

If not for the darkness she would have seen the twinkle in his eyes, but as it was Lou was in no mood for such a suggestion. She was shocked at the thought of becoming a grandmother; her two youngest children not even in their teens yet. Lou flopped back down onto the mattress with a huff and resumed staring at the ceiling.

"Go to sleep, Kid," she grumbled.

He smiled briefly as he rolled towards her, happy to do as he was asked. His arm snaked around her waist.

"Everythin' will be all right, you'll see," he murmured into her hair.

"Hope you're right," she replied softly, hugging him to her once more.

* * *

The next morning Lou took extra care when fixing her hair, checking for any grey that so far had failed to appear in her long dark locks. Kid, on the other hand, was graying around the temples, something she thought made him look distinguished even if it was a reminder that they weren't so young anymore. Satisfied she hadn't suddenly aged ten years overnight, she set her brush down.

"Grandma, humph," Lou said to her reflection, before going downstairs to join the rest of the family.


	6. Chapter 6

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 6**

Breakfast was almost over by the time Lou appeared the next morning. She had slept fitfully and, unusually for her, was the last one to join the family. Luckily their housekeeper had prepared a sumptuous breakfast for Adam, who Mrs. Greig decided needed fattening up before he went back to St. Louis. The delicious smell of fried bacon and fresh coffee greeted Lou when she reached the bottom of the stairs and she hastened her steps to the kitchen.

"Ma, we don't hafta go to school, do we?" whined Jake as soon as Lou appeared in the doorway."

"Good morning to you, too," she answered drolly, before accepting a cup of coffee from Kid. "And of course you do."

"But Adam only got home yesterday."

This argument, which clearly had had no affect on Kid, failed to move Lou as well. "He'll be here for two whole weeks so you'll have plenty of time with him."

"Besides," said Adam, trying to appease a disappointed Ethan too, "I'm going to see Doc Browne today, then I'm bringing Beth and Rudy back here to stay. We'll be home by the time school's out, then we can go riding. What do you say?"

"All right," Ethan grumbled, but neither boy was happy about it.

"Come on," Charlie said abruptly, "we're gonna be late."

Still annoyed that she would be sharing her room with Adam's fiancée, Charlie wasn't shy about making her feelings known. She gathered her books and lunch pail and didn't bother to wait for her younger brothers.

"Goodbye, sweetheart," Kid called after her, but Lou just ignored her rudeness. In truth she shared her daughter's feelings.

Jake and Ethan bid their parents goodbye then hurried to catch up with Charlie. After they were gone, Jamie returned from the stables where he had already been working for an hour.

"Horses are saddled and ready to go, Pa," he said. Jamie spied Adam at the table and gave his tie a playful tug before helping himself to a couple of strips of bacon from his brother's plate. "Nice suit, doc."

Adam couldn't help but grin and decided to take the compliment, even if it was sarcastic. "Thank you. Where are you off to?"

"We're givin' Ben Ashmore a hand with some new stock," Kid replied. Ben was one of their neighbors and a friend of Kid and Lou's.

"Give him my best," Adam said, trying unsuccessfully to fend off Jamie's bacon thievery.

"Bring him back for supper, if he'll come," said Lou. She knew Ben, a widower who lived alone on his small cattle ranch, was unlikely to join them as he usually kept to himself. But if he did decide to come there would be an extra person at dinner besides their new houseguests, which suited Lou just fine.

"I will." Kid kissed the top of her head as he passed. "See y'all later."

Jamie snatched a last piece of bacon from Adam's plate and quickly followed his father. "See ya, doc."

Lou and Adam shared a smile. After the noise of the whole family the kitchen was suddenly quiet. She sipped her coffee and regarded her son, pleased to see him across the table from her once more. She had spent many hours like this with him, Adam's nose usually buried in a book while she did the accounts or wrote letters to Rachel in Denver or Emma, who was now all the way in San Francisco. None of her other children had much patience for sitting or studying, so Adam had been her regular companion. She sighed contentedly now that he was back.

"You sleep all right?" she asked.

"Like a baby. I'd forgotten how quiet it gets here."

"Quieter than the city, that's for sure."

"St. Louis isn't so bad. You'll see when you come for my graduation ceremony."

"I suppose," Lou replied unconvincingly.

A small frown appeared on Adam's forehead. "You are still coming, aren't you?"

"Yes," she confirmed quickly, not wanting him to be concerned on that point. "Your Pa and I are looking forward to it. You know how proud we are of you… we wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good." Adam paused, contemplating whether or not he should discuss his plans at that moment, given Lou's reaction to his engagement. But he'd always been able to tell his mother anything and Adam didn't want that to change now. "Beth and I would like to be married there right after. Her grandfather wouldn't be able to travel as far as Sweetwater, so we thought, with you and Pa already there for graduation, the timing would be perfect."

Lou slowly set her coffee mug down and said nothing. Meeting Adam's fiancée was one thing, but wedding plans were quite another. She pressed her lips into a firm line, remembering Kid's words from the previous night and forcing herself not to voice her true feelings on the matter.

Adam's expression softened. "I guess I surprised you all, huh? About Beth."

"You could say that," Lou replied ruefully. She tried to keep her voice even as she continued. "Why didn't you write us about her?"

"I wanted to tell you in person… I wanted you to meet her when I did." Adam looked her in the eyes, needing to know what she was really thinking. "You're happy for me, aren't you, Ma?"

Indecision flashed across Lou's face. "Of course I am, it's just… I don't see what the rush is."

"We're not rushing – it'll be another year before I graduate. Beth and I both decided to wait until then."

"And what about after? You still comin' back to Sweetwater when you're a doctor?"

"Of course I am." The realization suddenly dawned on him. "Wait, is that what you're worried about?"

Lou got up to serve Adam some more breakfast. "Beth's used to livin' in St. Louis. What if she doesn't like it here?"

"Why wouldn't she like it here?" He ignored the food and leaned forward intently. "Besides, Beth knows how much it means to me to come back here. This is my home."

Lou sighed. "But you'll have a new home, Adam. A wife. You'll have to think about what she wants too. And if she decides Sweetwater isn't for her…"

"Ma, you're worrying for nothing, I promise."

"I hope you're right. And I hope for Beth's sake she likes it here." Lou knew Adam would soon change his mind if his wife was miserable, and he would take her back to the life she had always known in the city.

"I know she will, especially if my family makes her feel welcome," he said pointedly. "You'll see."

Lou smiled, duly chastised. She reached across the table to grasp his hand. "I missed you, son."

"I missed you too, Ma," said Adam, placing his other hand over hers.

* * *

Before the morning was out, Adam had collected Beth and Rudy from town and helped them settle into the ranch house. Lou forced herself to be as welcoming as she could bear, ensuring Beth had everything she needed, which earned her a grateful kiss on the cheek from Adam.

That afternoon, as Rudy suffered from a hay fever attack and bemoaned the country air, Adam took Beth for a walk down to the creek which ran through the property. It was the first time they'd been alone since their arrival and Beth was relieved to escape the house, still nervous about being accepted. Adam wanted to show her their favorite fishing hole growing up, and other places where he had spent his childhood. Beth held onto his arm and listened to his stories, noticing how animated he became when he told her about Jamie and Charlie and the things they had gotten up to.

Once they left the creek they walked in silence for a few minutes before Adam nodded at a small group of trees.

"There it is," he said softly, leading her over.

Beth looked down at the few gravestones placed beneath the shady trees. Adam indicated one which read "Aloysius 'Teaspoon' Hunter", with 1881 inscribed beneath it. She had already heard all about Teaspoon, the man Adam called his grandfather, and she knew how much he meant to him. They stood by the grave in silence for a few moments.

"He would have loved to have met you," Adam said finally, squeezing her hand as it rested on his arm.

"I take it he was something of an aficionado when it came to wives," Beth replied with a grin.

"Oh, absolutely."

"Do you think he would have approved?"

"Of you?"

Beth nodded slightly, a blush appearing on her cheeks. Adam faced her squarely.

"Teaspoon would have heartily approved of you," he said, his voice full of emotion.

Beth dropped her gaze. "I wish the rest of your family would."

"They do…" Adam assured her, then remembered the awkward dinner the previous night. "They will, just give them time."

"How can you be so sure?"

Adam sighed, gazing over her shoulder at his family's ranch which stretched as far as the eye could see. "Because you belong here too."

She smiled, pleased at his words. His eyes met hers, his gaze deepening.

"They'll love you… just like I do."

Adam sealed his promise with a kiss.


	7. Chapter 7

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 7**

Beth and Rudy were soon settled into the ranch and the Morgan family had the opportunity to get to know Adam's future wife. Both Kid and Jamie found her friendly, if a little quiet, and very different from Charlie and her tomboy ways. Beth kept house for her grandfather and brother and was used to taking care of things, whereas Charlie had little time for anything but horses. It was clear the two young women had very little in common.

Ethan and Jake, however, were immediately taken with Beth when they realized that she knew stories about pirates and shipwrecks and other exotic things, and could retell them, complete with engaging, animated voices. A voracious reader, it had been Beth who had selected the books Adam had brought them from St. Louis, but they did not hold this against her after she offered to read _The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn_ to them.

Lou was doing her best to accept Beth and had to admit she was likeable and her shyness only made Lou remember what an awkward position she was in – trying to be accepted by what was to be her new family. Still, her sympathy for Beth's situation did not stretch so far that she completely accepted her, and Lou held firmly onto her reservations about Adam's engagement.

"I think it's wonderful news," her friend Melanie announced as soon as Lou told her.

"Traitor," Lou replied grimly.

Melanie laughed as she peered through the lace curtains of Lou's parlor, looking at Beth who was watching Jake and Ethan playing in the yard.

"I think she's charming. And quite a beauty," Melanie went on despite Lou's apathy. Her eyes twinkled mischievously. "I imagine she'll make beautiful babies."

"Don't you start too," Lou warned her.

"What?" Melanie said innocently, as she walked towards the kitchen to freshen their teapot. She threw Lou a look over her shoulder. "Grandma!"

Melanie ducked into the kitchen before a well-aimed cushion could find its target.

* * *

While Adam and Rudy spent time with Dr. Browne, seeing real patients and learning from the man who had practiced medicine in the West for 30 years, Beth spent her time contentedly reading and sewing while everyone else went about their usual business. Jake and Ethan had taken to monopolizing her time as soon as they returned from school, but she was happy to entertain herself in their absence. There were numerous visits from neighbors and townspeople who arrived at the ranch to call on Lou, but Beth had so little to say on those occasions that she had taken to disappearing into the yard of a morning so she could avoid them.

It was there on the porch that Jamie found her, a few days after her arrival. Beth was reading, the family's cat purring in her lap as she scratched its ears absently. Being Saturday, Lou had taken the younger boys into town to pick up supplies, but she had chosen to remain behind.

"Mornin'," Jamie said brightly, pulling his hat from his head.

"Good morning, Jamie." Beth smiled warmly, happy to see him. "You must have been up early again this morning. I missed you at breakfast."

"Yep, best time of day if you ask me. I like to ride out early and check the horses." Jamie remained in the yard, not wanting to get too close to her in his sweat-soaked shirt. Although only mid-morning, the fierce sun was making it hot work.

"Enjoyin' your book?" he asked, when he could think of nothing else to say.

"Very much. It's _Adam Bede_. Have you read it?" she asked enthusiastically. "I do enjoy George Eliot's writing."

"Never heard of him."

"Her," Beth corrected automatically, then grew embarrassed when she realized how pretentious she might appear to him.

"I was never much for readin' meself," Jamie shrugged, not concerned in the slightest. "Prefered workin' to schoolin', unlike that brother of mine."

"Oh," she replied softly, but was relieved when he didn't appear to think her rude.

"I thought Charlie was takin' you ridin' today." Jamie glanced around and saw Charlie in the corral closest to the house, brushing down her mare.

Beth stammered an excuse but Jamie was already calling his sister over. Charlie approached the house at his request but a scowl appeared on her face when she rounded the corner and saw that Jamie was talking to Beth.

"Ain't you takin' Beth for a ride today, while Adam's out with Doc Browne?" he asked sternly, but it was more of a statement than a question.

"I got chores," Charlie said sullenly.

"You don't got, I mean… _have_ any chores that can't wait. We've got company." Jamie, his hands on his hips, spoke authoritatively, which rankled Charlie even more.

"Oh, quit showin' off. Why don't you take her ridin', if you're so full of manners!" Charlie yelled, before turning on her heel and stalking away.

"Charlotte Rachel Morgan, come back here!" Jamie sighed angrily at her departing back, but she ignored him. He glanced back at Beth, and this time it was his turn to be embarrassed. "I'm sorry about my sister."

"It's all right," Beth assured him. She was used to Charlie by now, having only received a few words from the girl in the past few days, which was quite a feat considering they were sharing a bedroom. Beth had tried to make conversation but Charlie showed little interest in becoming friends.

"She's been missin' Adam and I guess…"

"She didn't think she'd have to share him with any outsiders," Beth finished for him. "I understand."

Jamie smiled in admiration of her understanding and patience – he knew Charlie was not an easy person to live with when she was out of humor. He changed the topic instead. "So, what do you think of the place? What little you've seen on foot anyway."

Beth's face lit up. "It's beautiful. It's everything Adam described."

"Must be different from what you're used to."

"It is that," she admitted. "But I understand Adam more now, having seen the ranch. And meeting the family, of course."

"Well, we're glad to have you here," Jamie said, before replacing his hat back on his head.

He was about to excuse himself in order to get back to work when Kid marched a very recalcitrant Charlie back over to the porch.

"Miss Betts, Charlie would be pleased to take you ridin' to show you around," Kid stated calmly, despite the thunderous look in his daughter's eyes.

"That's very kind, thank you, Mr. Morgan," Beth stated in response. "But I'm still rather tired from our journey. Charlie, would you mind if we postponed our ride? Maybe in a few days' time?

"Fine with me," Charlie grunted, but after a stern look from Kid she threw Beth tight-lipped smile to appease him.

"If you're sure," Kid said.

"I am, thank you. And I wish you'd call me Beth."

Kid smiled genuinely. "All right. Come on then, Charlie, you can help Jamie and me with the horses."

He nudged his daughter and they made their way back towards the corral. Jamie stayed behind for a moment and tipped his hat at Beth in recognition of her covering for Charlie. He admired her fortitude if nothing else – she wasn't about to let Charlie intimidate her. Jamie grinned, wholeheartedly approving of his brother's choice of a wife.

* * *

Adam and Rudy returned to the ranch a few hours later, and while Rudy disappeared inside the house to recover from the heat, Adam took a seat beside Beth on the porch.

"What did you get up to with Dr. Browne?" she asked.

"Oh, we set a broken leg. A cowboy fell from his horse."

Beth raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I didn't think cowboys did that."

"He was drunk as a skunk at the time," Adam admitted, chuckling. "And riding backwards down the main street when the mail coach arrived."

Beth smiled, looping her arm in his.

"What about you? How is your day going?"

"It's been fine, thank you." A silence settled between them as Adam stretched his legs out before him.

"Your sister doesn't think much of me," Beth went on eventually.

"Of course she does." After seeing the look of disbelief that Beth shot him, he tried again. "She just needs time to get to know you. Charlie hasn't had many female friends. She grew up with four brothers, so she's always just been one of the boys."

"Something tells me she'd be quite happy without a new sister."

"She'll come round. I promise."

A faint smile appeared on Beth's lips as she leaned forward to kiss him. Then she rested her head on his shoulder. "You should spend some time with her, just the two of you. She misses you."

Adam rested a cheek on the top of her head. "What about you?"

"I'm fine. Besides I see more of you in St. Louis than your family does here. You should be spending time with them." She pulled back to gaze lovingly at him. "Besides, we have the rest of lives to be together, remember?"

"Have I told you how brilliant you are, Elizabeth Betts?" Adam asked, eyes shining. "And kind and smart and beautiful?"

"I don't believe you have, not today anyway. But we have the rest of lives for that too," she grinned.


	8. Chapter 8

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 8**

During lunch the next day the family was just sitting down to eat when a visitor arrived. Lou rose from the table to find Ben Ashmore standing inside the front door, looking apologetic.

"Ben, this is a surprise."

"I'm sorry to trouble you folks," their neighbor replied, venturing no further into the house.

Kid joined his wife and was about to invite him to join them when Ben removed his hat and they saw the dried blood covering his left ear.

"Are you all right?" Lou said with a start. "Adam!"

Soon the entire family was clustered around an embarrassed Ben who was ushered into the parlor. Lou pulled the younger boys back so Adam could inspect the wound on his skull.

"What happened?" asked Kid, concern etched in his voice.

Ben winced as Adam touched the swelling above his ear. "Fella stopped by my place wanting to water his horse. He started making conversation, then as soon as I looked away he cracked me on the head with his rifle. When I woke up Red was gone."

At the mention of their neighbor's treasured stock horse which she had long admired, Charlie made a sympathetic noise. It caught Ben's attention, but he averted his gaze as soon as he caught her eye.

"I've had him more'n 15 years. Ain't no other horse like him."

"You ever seen this fella before?" continued Kid.

"Nope."

"Did he take anythin' else?" Lou asked.

"Didn't wait around to find out. Soon as I came to I started tracking him. He cut across your south paddock, so I figured he's following the creek."

Jamie stepped forward. "How's his head, doc?"

"Not too bad. It could do with a few stitches," Adam said, moving back to allow Rudy to also take a look. "We can take you into town to Doc Browne's."

Ben shook his head. "Can't you do it?"

Adam paused only briefly before nodding. "You sure?"

"Sooner I can get after that damn… Oh, excuse me," Ben murmured, noticing an unfamiliar woman in the small crowd before him.

"You haven't met my fiancée, Beth. And this is her brother Rudy. We're in school together."

"Ben Ashmore," he said a little awkwardly, not used to so many people paying him attention. "Er, congratulations."

"Thank you, Mr. Ashmore," replied Beth just as uneasily. It seemed a wholly inappropriate time for small talk. "I'm sorry to hear about your horse."

After a brief discussion with Adam, Rudy collected his medical bag from the kitchen and started laying out the necessary instruments on the sofa next to Ben.

"Charlie," Lou instructed, "take Jake and Ethan on into the dinin' room and finish your lunch."

"But we wanna stay and watch, Ma!" cried Ethan, fascinated by the thought of his brother stitching up someone's head.

"Go on," Lou insisted, to the boys' disappointment. Beth took the lead and ushered them from the room, followed by Charlie.

Jamie clapped a gentle hand on Ben's shoulder, before looking up at his father. "Pa, I'll go get our horses."

Kid nodded. "Reckon we can still catch him?"

"I reckon so." Ben looked away as Adam began to work on the injury. "He looked like he hadn't stopped all night, which is why I offered him food and water for both him and his horse."

"You should have some help around the place," Lou chastised Ben with a familiar suggestion that had always fallen on deaf ears.

"I get help come mustering time when I need it."

Lou shook her head. Ben had lived alone on his small property since his wife had died in childbirth a decade earlier, and no amount of needling could convince him that he needed anyone else around. They managed to have him join them for an occasional meal but other than that Ben always kept to himself, unless a neighbor needed assistance. Then Ben Ashmore was the first to pitch in and help.

Ten minutes later, his head stitched and hastily bandaged by the two medical students, Ben was impatient to leave. Angry at himself for allowing the stranger to get the jump on him, he wasn't about to lose his best horse. He ignored Adam and Rudy's suggestion that he should rest instead, and was soon ready to go.

"Your father and brother are going too?" Beth asked Adam, when she saw the three men saddling up in the yard.

"Yep."

"Oughtn't someone go for the marshal?"

Adam smiled faintly at her. "There's no time to go all the way into town. They'll be lucky to catch him as it is."

"And if they do?"

"Horse theft's a hanging offence."

Beth blanched at the thought. "They'll hang him? Can they do that, even if they're not the law?"

"It's the way things are done out here. Pa and Jamie are deputized often enough when the marshal needs a posse to track down an outlaw."

Adam placed his arm around her as she looked unsettled at the notion. He hadn't considered that something that was so natural in the world in which he'd been raised could be so alien to her.

"Do you ever get deputized?" Beth asked, unable to hide the worry in her voice.

Adam squeezed her waist reassuringly. "No. Not me."

"I'm glad," she replied with relief, not noticing the look that passed through Adam's eyes as he watched his father and brother prepare to ride out.

Lou handed all three packages of food before they left. Beth noticed Kid hold onto his wife's hand a little longer than necessary, although no words passed between them. She wondered how anyone could get used to sending her husband and son into potential danger. Judging by the look on Lou's face, however, Beth realized that she probably hadn't.

"Ride safe," was all Lou said quietly, before going back inside the house.

* * *

They did not return until the next morning. Beth had woken later than usual and entered the kitchen to find Kid, Jamie and Ben sitting at the breakfast table. They'd washed hastily so they could eat the hearty breakfast laid out before them. With Adam and Rudy nowhere in sight, no one paid much attention to Beth as they listened to what had happened. Lou did stop long enough to motion her to a chair and pour her a cup of coffee, even managing to flash her a brief smile.

"How long did it take to catch him?" Lou prompted impatiently, as the men were more interested in eating for the moment.

"Five, six hours maybe," replied Kid. "Lucky for us he decided on an early night and we found him camped right by the creek."

"Passed out drunk, more like," Jamie continued with a grin. "Fella barely knew who he was by the time we caught up with him."

"Turns out he found my whisky jug," said Ben. "He was more interested in drinking the whole lot than putting much distance between him and us."

"And Red was all right?" asked Charlie eagerly.

Ben smiled slightly. "Old Red is fine. Though I'd say he was right pleased we found him. I don't 'spose that young fella treated him too well."

"I'm glad. I'll go check on him, if you like."

Charlie grinned when Ben gave her a brief nod. She ran out the back door to the stable where he was currently being tended to by the ranch hands.

Lou and Kid shared a look, then she ordered Jake and Ethan out of the room.

"Go get ready for school, you're gonna be late." Lou waited until she heard them clomping up the stairs before turning back to Kid. "What did you do with him?"

Kid shrugged. "It was Ben's decision."

Beth bit her lip, not quite able to believe that the three men before her could have taken someone's life. She was not used to being around men who had to make those kinds of decisions.

"He was just a boy," said Ben.

"And a horse thief," Kid countered. "He could've been on the run from the law, for all we knew. And he could've killed you, hittin' you in the head like he did."

"But he didn't. Always did have a thick skull."

Jamie wiped at his mouth with a napkin, and addressed Beth as Ben and his father continued their friendly bickering. "He let him go. Told him he was lucky he wasn't gonna be swinging from the end of a rope."

Beth breathed a sigh of relief. Lou smiled at Ben, although she wasn't surprised by his decision. She knew Kid would have made the same one if he were in Ben's shoes, for all his arguments to the contrary. They knew all too well what it meant to take another man's life.

"I just wanted my horse back, and I got him," Ben said, as he got to his feet. "And now I'd best get on back to my place."

"Ben, stay and rest at least," insisted Lou. "Adam's gone in to see Doc Browne but he'll be back soon, and he'll want to check your head."

"I can send over some of the boys to help out," Kid joined in. "They'll see to your horses and cattle."

"Much obliged, but I'm fine. I'd just as soon do it myself." Ben shook both Kid and Jamie's hands, and tipped his hat to the ladies. "Thanks for your help."

He made his way to the door before stopping to address Beth. "Would you thank that fiancé of yours for tending to my injury, Miss?"

"Of course, Mr. Ashmore." Beth smiled broadly which embarrassed Ben so much that made a hasty exit.

"You two should get some rest." Lou tugged playfully at Jamie's ear, only to have him swat her hand away.

"We made camp and slept fine, Ma," Jamie replied a little grumpily, all too aware that Beth was watching them with an amused expression.

"Sounds to me like _someone_ could use some more sleep." Lou was just teasing him now.

"I'll be down in the stables," he glowered, but was unable to get away before his mother planted a kiss on his cheek, relieved to have him home in one piece.


	9. Chapter 9

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 9**

The rest of the week passed quickly… too quickly for Lou's liking. In a few short days Adam was due to return to St. Louis with Beth and Rudy, and it would be a year before he'd be home again. When he did return, and Lou still held out all hope that he would come home after he'd graduated, Beth would be coming with him.

As much as she hated to admit it, Lou knew she had been hard on Beth since her arrival at the ranch. She had been so afraid that her son would choose this woman above his family that she'd made the situation more difficult than it needed to be. While she still wasn't completely at ease with Adam's decision to marry as soon as he became a doctor, Lou knew that he and Beth loved each other, and they would make each other happy.

So it was with a measure of resignation and a little pride that she would attend that evening's church social with the whole family and their daughter-in-law to be. Beth had met most of their friends during the two weeks they'd been in Sweetwater, but tonight was the first time she and Adam would be attending a dance together as an engaged couple.

In the bedroom she shared with Charlie, Beth finished pinning up her blond hair and straightened her dress, wanting to look her best. She was worried that she might stand out too much – she'd noticed the differences in the clothes she wore from those of the other women in town. She'd quietly unpicked the flounces and ribbons from some of her dresses in an effort not to appear overly ostentatious. Beth was determined to fit in – it was to be her home in a year's time, after all.

"Bethy, help me with this, would you?" Rudy appeared at her door, struggling to tie his cravat.

"Here, let me." She smiled indulgently at her brother as she tied the material into a stylish knot, and wondering what he was going to do when she was no longer there to look after him and their grandfather.

"Remind me why we're attending this soirée?" Rudy said with undisguised disdain.

"Be nice."

"Really, you can't be looking forward to it. A church social?"

"We've been invited so we can meet the townspeople, and have them meet us," Beth reminded him patiently.

"Meet you, you mean." His cravat tied, Rudy look a step back and started buttoning his waistcoat over his expansive stomach.

"Best behavior tonight please, Dr. Betts."

Rudy rolled his eyes and was about to let loose with a tirade on the backwater town they were stuck in, when Charlie walked into the room. She stopped short when she saw them.

"Oh," she said, then her eyes narrowed in annoyance at having her bedroom invaded.

"I'm sorry, Charlie, we'll leave you to get dressed," said Beth apologetically. She hastened her brother out of the room. "Come along, Rudy."

Charlie took great satisfaction in closing the door more firmly than necessary, then pressed her back against it as she surveyed the room. Her mother had left a dress laid out on her bed, pale blue and simple, but it still left Charlie feeling aggrieved. She rarely went to the church socials and other dances, and when she did she spent the evening talking horses with the men in town, or watching out for her younger brothers. But tonight she was being forced to act like a proper young lady, all because of Adam and his silly fiancée. Her mother had even bought her a new dress for the occasion. Charlie didn't know who they were supposed to be impressing, and once again she resented Beth's presence in their lives.

In the preceding fortnight Charlie had been able to spend a few brief hours with Adam and told him everything she'd been saving up since his last visit home. But most of the time, when he wasn't with Doc Browne and Rudy, he was with Beth. Charlie was not used to sharing her brothers, especially Adam, to whom she'd always been particularly close. He was the one person who never teased her about her clothes or her tomboy ways. He took the time to listen when she talked, and worked with her on poultices and other remedies for the horses. But that was before. Now he had Beth, and Charlie knew that she would always come first.

She took her time dressing, wishing to delay the start of the evening's drudgery as long as possible. She tied back her straight, dark hair with a simple ribbon, and took no more care with her appearance until she saw the lace shawl peaking out of the top of Beth's trunk. Charlie hesitated before picking it up, knowing she shouldn't be going through Beth's things, but then it _was_ her bedroom, she reminded herself. She removed it carefully so as not to disturb anything else.

Charlie was not particularly interested in clothes and other trappings of womanhood, but even she had to admit that it was a beautiful shawl. Made of cream-colored lace, its softness and intricacy was something Charlie had never felt or seen before. After a quick glance at the closed door, she slipped it around her shoulders and admired herself in the mirror. Charlie smiled shyly at her reflection – she was unused to seeing herself look so… normal, she guessed. Pretty, even. She was thus engrossed when Beth slipped back into the room.

"It looks wonderful on you, Charlotte," the older girl said, her eyes shining with sincerity.

Charlie whipped around with a start and, with cheeks burning, pulled the shawl off.

"Sorry," she mumbled, mortified she'd been caught.

Beth took a few steps forward. "Don't be, you look beautiful. Why don't you wear it tonight? It matches your dress perfectly."

"No, thank you," Charlie replied coldly. "I don't need to wear fancy things to impress everyone."

Beth sighed sadly. "Please, Charlie. I just wanted…"

Charlie didn't bother waiting for the rest of the sentence. She stalked past Beth and out of the room without another word.

* * *

Despite the unpleasantness with Charlie, Beth enjoyed herself at the dance. She talked with the ladies of the town who were so eager to meet the future wife of their town's young doctor-in-training. She danced with Adam and Jamie and Kid, and even ten-year-old Ethan who decided he was grown up enough to join in.

Jamie was in demand the most that evening, dancing with every eligible girl over the age of sixteen. Adam and Beth laughed at the inexhaustible energy he appeared to have, and the charming smile framed by two dimples that made him irresistible to every girl there. Even the widow Roberts, more than ten years his senior, was making eyes at Jamie that night, much to Adam's amusement.

But it was Beth and Adam who were center of attention, even though they were barely aware of it. The elder ladies smiled warmly at the young couple, so obviously in love, while Kid and Lou's friends passed on their congratulations and best wishes.

"I told you everythin' would be all right," Kid murmured into Lou's ear as they stood on the edge of the dance floor, surveying the crowd.

"He's not back for good yet, is he?" she replied through the smile that was starting to hurt her cheeks.

"No, but he will be. You know they will."

Lou sighed. She did know it. "The year will be up before we know what's happenin'. Then we still have to go all the way to St. Louis for the weddin'."

"Yes, we do."

"I don't see what's wrong with gettin' married here. I'm sure Rachel would come up from Denver, and all our friends…"

Kid pulled her gently onto the dance floor as a slow waltz started. They danced in each other's arms in silence, until Lou could hold her tongue no more.

"Jamie's already said he'll stay behind to run the ranch while we're gone, and Charlie's flat out refusin' to go."

Kid smiled secretively. "Maybe Jake and Ethan should stay here too. We wouldn't want them to miss too much school."

A real smile teased Lou's lips. "What are you proposin', Kid?"

"Who me? Nothin'," he replied innocently.

"You're plannin' somethin', I know you."

"You'll just have to wait and see won't you." He kissed her lips lightly and kept on dancing.

Suddenly a year seemed a long way away for Lou.

* * *

When it came time to leave, the entire family was at the train station to see Adam off. Ethan and Jake, while sad to see their brother and Beth go, were so excited to be missing school that they set about exploring the train carriages and generally making a nuisance of themselves. Lou didn't bother remonstrating their behavior, she was too busy spending what little time she had left with Adam. As always he promised to write and not to study too hard. Rudy was the grateful guardian of a fully packed hamper of food from their housekeeper that promised to keep all three of them well fed on the overnight journey.

All too soon the conductor blew his whistle and announced the train would be leaving in five minutes. Lou finally let go of Adam's arm so he could say goodbye to his father and siblings.

"Take care, doc," Jamie said and he briefly hugged his little brother.

"Watch it with the ladies, James," replied Adam jokingly, which earned him a shove to the shoulder.

Jamie pecked Beth's cheek and shook Rudy's hand before stepping back to allow the others to say their farewells. Charlie was in tears, though she was doing her best to hide it.

Adam embraced her lovingly. "Look after those horses, Charlie. And let me know how you finish up at school."

"I will," she replied between sniffs.

Lou took Beth's hand and was surprised when the girl kissed her cheek warmly.

"Thank you so much for having us stay, Mrs. Morgan, and for making me feel so welcome."

Embarrassed at the half-truth of the statement, she squeezed Beth's hand. "Have a safe journey. We'll see you in St. Louis soon."

Beth smiled, but Lou did not release her hand. She glanced down at her feet, before raising her eyes once more.

"Beth? Take good care of him," Lou said quietly and with some difficulty. She blinked away her tears.

"I will." Beth kissed her other cheek from sheer happiness that perhaps she had been accepted after all.

Adam moved to stand in front of his mother, then wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Ma," he whispered.

Lou didn't trust herself to respond. The conductor's whistle blew again and the last of the passengers stepped on board. Kid rescued Jake and Ethan from the carriage before they found themselves en route East, and they all stood waving on the platform as the train pulled away from the station.

The family stayed there until the last black carriage disappeared from sight.

* * *

The ranch house felt empty when they returned home. Kid and Jamie headed straight back to work, while the younger boys opted for the swimming hole before Lou had a chance to insist they do some school work. Lou wrapped her arm around Charlie's shoulder as they made their way inside the house, and for the first time in many years her daughter rested her head against her shoulder and didn't pull away.

"You have some homework to do?" she said, interrupting their companionable silence.

"A little," came the glum reply.

"Or we could go for a ride instead," suggested Lou. "You could show me how good that mare of yours is."

Charlie was surprised but nonetheless pleased at the idea. She couldn't remember the last time she and her mother had gone riding together.

"You'd better go change out of that skirt, though," Lou said with a grin.

"Give me a minute." Charlie ran ahead into the house without a moment's hesitation.

Up in her bedroom, which was once again hers and hers alone, Charlie changed quickly into her riding gear and was soon ready to go. It was then she saw the edge of the cream material sticking out from under her pillow. With a puzzled frown she lifted it to find Beth's shawl, wrapped in a pink ribbon. Charlie sat down on the bed, the dainty garment lying in her lap. She wondered for the first time that maybe it wasn't going to be so bad having a sister, after all.


	10. Chapter 10

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 10**

April 1885 – One Year Later

* * *

"Quiet!"

"Give me the presents, you'll drop 'em."

"Ow, Ethan, you're standing on my foot!"

Kid hushed his children once more as they paused outside the bedroom door. He nodded to Jake who opened it and peered inside. His mother was still sleeping. Jake gave the others a quick nod and Kid, Jamie, Charlotte, Ethan and he slipped inside the room.

Kid knew she was only pretending to be asleep. No one could have slept through the ruckus in the kitchen as they prepared her traditional birthday breakfast in bed. But she kept up the charade, enjoying the annual treat that Jamie and Adam had started when they were little, and which all her children participated in every year.

"Okay, son," Kid nudged Jake, whose turn it was to wake the birthday girl.

The ten-year-old's response was to jump on the bed and yell 'Happy birthday!" at the top of his lungs, and he was soon joined by Ethan. Lou shrieked in mock surprise and sat up in bed to receive hugs and kisses and birthday wishes from her children.

"We made pancakes," Ethan said, as Kid deposited the tray onto her lap.

"Thank you, they look delicious," she replied, kissing Ethan once more.

"Open your presents first, Mama," ordered Charlie, as she produced a number of gifts.

Lou beamed, and accepted the presents. Jake and Ethan had made theirs, while Jamie and Charlie had pooled their money to buy her a gold locket.

"You shouldn't have," she gushed, allowing Charlie to fasten it behind her neck. "It's beautiful."

"Guess you'll have to choose your favorite now – you won't be able to fit a picture of all of us in there," said Jamie with a grin.

Kid produced a small gift from behind his back. "Here, Adam sent this from St. Louis."

Lou took it gratefully, pleased that he had remembered even though he was busy with final exams. She unwrapped the box to find a set of pearl earrings. She smiled through misty eyes as she read the enclosed card from her son.

"No cryin', it's your birthday," Kid said sternly.

Lou nodded and sniffed. "Adam and Beth send their love."

"Eat your pancakes!" cried Jake, hating to see their masterpiece go to waste.

Lou did not stop smiling as she sampled the chewy offering, thinking they were the best pancakes she had ever eaten.

Later, after she had dressed and was getting ready to start the day properly, Lou was surprised when Kid reappeared in their bedroom alone.

"I thought you were down in the stables," she said slyly, noting he was hiding something behind his back.

"I haven't given you your present yet," he replied, eyes twinkling.

She accepted a loving kiss from him which deepened until her hand snuck around behind his back and she plucked the envelope from his hand. Only then did she break the embrace.

"What do we have here?" she inquired in light voice.

Kid sighed, and threw up his hands. "Go on then, open it."

Unable to hide her grin, Lou took a seat on the bed, followed by Kid. She tore open the envelope without ceremony and read the contents of the piece of paper within.

"Kid," she breathed, after she realized what he'd done.

He grinned in response, glad to see his gift had the desired effect. "Well, I figured we're headin' to St. Louis for the weddin' next month, we might as well keep on goin'."

"New York?"

"You always said you wanted to visit a big city."

"I did…"

"Thought we could stop off and see Theresa along the way, and Jeremiah's promised to come up from Texas for a few days, if he can get away."

"We can see Theresa's new baby!"

"Uh huh. And after New York, maybe Washington, and I was hopin' we could take a trip through Virginia too."

Lou knew how much that would mean to him. She threw her arms around his neck and help him tightly. "Thank you. I love my present."

She drew back, looking at the paper once more. Only then did a small frown crease her brow. "All this will take some time."

"Yep, reckon we'll be gone several months."

"But what about –"

Kid cut her off. "It's all been planned. Jamie will run things here, and Charlie will look after Ethan and Jake. Now she's finished school she'll be able to spend more time helpin' Jamie too."

"But we can't go away for such a long time after Adam and Beth come home…"

"Adam and Beth will be settlin' into their own house – they don't need two old folks like us hangin' around."

Lou tried not to smile at the comment. "We're not old."

"No, and I'd like to see somethin' of the country before we are. Besides, it's not like we ever had a honeymoon. Thought it was about time we did."

That was true enough, Lou admitted. The weeks after they were married was such a tumultuous time, with their family being torn apart by the war and the untimely (or, more precisely, the timely) discovery that she was already pregnant with Jamie. The last thing they'd been able to do back then was think about a honeymoon. In subsequent they'd been too busy with the ranch and babies to travel, and she'd almost forgotten her wish to visit a big city and stay in a fancy hotel. She was touched that Kid had remembered all these years.

"Guess we got some packin' to do. Won't be long before we leave," she said happily, taking his hands in hers. "I love you, Kid."

"Happy birthday, Lou." Kid kissed her once more.


	11. Chapter 11

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 11**

During the train journey East, Lou's thoughts were consumed with her children in Sweetwater. Again she worried that Jake and Ethan were too young to be left in their sister's care, and Charlie too inexperienced to run the household. She even worried that Jamie would have difficulty managing the ranch and the other hands, until Kid reminded her that their eldest children were grown and could look after themselves, their younger brothers and the family business perfectly well. It wasn't until they drew closer to St. Louis that she remembered why they had left Sweetwater, and the fact she would be seeing Adam again after almost a year apart.

St. Louis was a bustling city, very different from the one Lou had known more than 25 years before. She had arrived in St. Louis on the stage after her escape from Wicks, and it was here that she had cut off her hair and disguised herself as a boy so she could find work, eventually joining the Pony Express. Lou didn't want those memories to cloud the reason for their journey to the city now. She was here for her son's graduation as a doctor and his marriage – a quiet victory over the difficulties of her youth.

Adam and Beth were at the station to meet them, both looking excited and happy that they had finally arrived. Lou was pleased to see the shadows were gone from under Adam's eyes – his studies were over and he would soon be a husband. She had never seen him looking so contented. Beth presented her with a bouquet of flowers and a kiss on the cheek, as if welcoming a long lost friend. Lou remembered her less than enthusiastic reaction when she first met Beth and felt a little ashamed. She realized that her concerns had been unfounded, as she really was a beautiful and charming young woman and they were lucky to have her join their family.

On the carriage ride to Beth's grandfather's house, Kid and Lou marveled at the sight of the Mississippi, the tall buildings and other delights of the city which were just a taste of what was to come when they got to New York. The Betts residence was a narrow but grand building in a well to do neighborhood. The ground floor was devoted to his medical practice but the upper two floors were for the family. Beth insisted they stay at the house rather than a hotel, and showed them to an impeccably decorated bedroom so they could freshen up after their journey.

Kid whistled as he looked around, feeling every bit the dirt farmer from Virginia. He and Lou had a comfortable life in Sweetwater, a large house with more nice things than he had never dreamed he would own. But in the city there was a level of luxury that neither of them was used to.

"Tell me again why we don't live in the city?" he wondered aloud.

Lou was similarly impressed by their surroundings, but she wasn't about to succumb to their charms. "Because after about five minutes you're gonna remember Sweetwater's where we belong. And all the fancy trappings of city life don't make up for belongin' somewhere."

Kid grinned at her commonsense philosophy. "Sure is nice to visit though, ain't it?"

"'Isn't it', darling," she corrected him jokingly and she brushed off his dusty jacket.

"I'm terribly sorry, do forgive me," he said properly. Both of them dissolved into giggles.

Once they were cleaned up and back downstairs to meet the rest of Beth's family, their joking mood was replaced by a hint of nervousness. Beth's grandfather was an imposing figure, with white, distinguished whiskers and a coolness about him that was a little intimidating. Lou marveled that Adam had been accepted into the family, but it was clear that the senior Dr. Betts had much respect for his granddaughter's fiancé.

"You have a remarkable son," he commented to Kid and Lou, as they each accepted a glass of champagne from a maid. "A natural healer."

"Thank you," replied Kid proudly.

"I suppose he's told you that I've asked him to stay and join Rudolf in my practice. I'll be retiring soon and I'd like them to take over."

"No, actually he hadn't," Lou said quietly, glancing across the room at Adam who was engaged in conversation with Rudy.

"He has more to learn, of course, but under my tutelage and with time at the hospital I believe your son would make a fine surgeon."

Lou stiffened – it was the very thing she had been dreading. For all his promises of coming home to Sweetwater she had always been afraid the lure of the city and its opportunities would prove too good pass up.

"Grandfather," Beth interrupted, having overheard the end of the conversation, "Mrs. Bell has arrived and is asking for you downstairs."

"Ah, my afternoon appointment. Would you excuse me?" Dr Betts asked politely.

Lou nodded vaguely in response as Adam came over to join them.

"You didn't tell us about Dr. Betts' offer," she said immediately, in a tone more accusatory than she meant.

A look passed between Beth and Adam. "Well, there wasn't much to tell, really," he replied.

"Adam has turned him down every time but he persists in asking," Beth explained. When she saw the look of worry in Lou's eyes, she laid a hand on her arm. "We've told Grandfather we're determined to make our home in Sweetwater."

Lou brightened at that, relieved.

"I admit he's still not very happy about it," Adam said regretfully. "But Beth can be quite determined when she wants to be."

Beth grinned at him, knowing full well that Adam would hate living in the city permanently. His time working at the hospital and in her grandfather's practice had proved to them both that he belonged out West where he was needed.

"Well, the house is all ready for you, even though we won't be there when you arrive. We've done up Teaspoon's old room for you. The bedroom at the back of the house," Lou explained to Beth, wanting to assure them of their privacy.

"Ma, you know we're planning on living in town. I need to be near Dr. Browne and the clinic."

"I know, it's just you'll need some time to get settled, find a place. In the meantime there's a room for you at home. There'll always be a room there."

"Thank you, Mrs. Morgan, we do appreciate it," Beth said.

"I think it's time you started callin' me Louise, don't you? It'll be confusin' havin' two Mrs. Morgans around."

"Yes, ma'am," Beth replied, pleased.

Adam took her hand and squeezed it lovingly.

* * *

A few days later Kid and Lou watched on proudly as Adam received his medical degree. He was further honored as valedictorian of his class, which Beth's grandfather seemed to take extra pride in. He threw a celebration for the graduating class and their families that night, so the house was filled with people. Dr. Betts formally welcomed Rudy to his practice and publicly made the same offer to Adam once more. Again he was refused, but he seemed to take it in good humor. He knew Adam's mind was made up, even if he thought it a waste of a good doctor to practice his craft on the wilds of the West.

Two days after that, Adam and Beth were married. It was a simple ceremony in a beautiful stone church which Kid and Lou marveled at. Adam had invited a few friends from medical school, but the congregation was mainly friends of the Betts family. Lou wished her own friends and family could be there too, but she reminded herself that there would be plenty of time to celebrate the marriage once Adam and Beth came home to Sweetwater. Having the actual wedding in St. Louis was a small sacrifice to make.

The newlyweds were to remain in St. Louis for a few days more in order to attend Rudy's wedding. He was marrying a young woman who had been a patient of their grandfather's, and Beth was relieved to be leaving both men with someone to look after them. It made the decision to make her home in Sweetwater all them much easier, as finally she would have a house of her own and, eventually, a family.

Kid and Lou were not staying for the second wedding, and were soon at the train station again for the next leg of their journey East.

"Give Aunt Theresa my best," Adam said as he kissed her goodbye.

"I will," replied Lou, starting to feel a little teary. She hated leaving them so soon.

"We'll see you in a few months," said Beth, radiating a sense of contentedness since her marriage.

"Don't let Charlie give you a hard time at the house. It's your home too," Lou told her, then unexpectedly hugged the young woman. She did the same to Adam. "We'll see you soon."

"Have a wonderful time in New York!"

"We will, if we ever get there." Kid grinned as he gently pulled Lou towards the train which was ready to depart.

They waved from the carriage as the train pulled away and Adam and Beth were swallowed up by the crowded platform.


	12. Chapter 12

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 12**

August 1885

They were due to return to Sweetwater on a Monday, but even though they'd both had a wonderful time on their trip, when the opportunity arose to take an earlier connecting train to Sweetwater, both Kid and Lou jumped at the chance. Saturday was always a busy day in town and Kid kept an eye out for anyone from the ranch in case they were there to collect groceries or feed. But in the end he had to borrow a wagon from the livery so they could transport their trunks which were filled to the brim with presents for the family.

Lou was bursting with excitement as they rounded the last bend in the road that led to the ranch. The site of the white timber house peaking out from behind the tree and the top paddock scattered with grazing horses filled her with a glowing sense of pride and relief they were finally home.

"Maybe we should've wired ahead," Kid said, when they saw no one in the corrals or the yard.

"It's better this way, it's a surprise," replied Lou, undeterred.

Kid geed up the horses as the distance to the house closed. The noise of the wagon caused a head to appear out the front door, followed by a yell from Charlie who spied her parents. Lou jumped down from the wagon before it came to a stop as Ethan and Jake emerged from the house at full run, jumping into her arms and almost knocking her over. Charlie followed and greeted first her father then her mother, once the younger boys let her loose.

"We weren't expectin' you for a couple of days!" she cried, hugging them both.

"Well, we just couldn't wait to see you all so here we are."

"Look, Ma," Jake said insistently, opening his mouth to show off five holes where he'd lost more teeth.

"Goodness!" Lou exclaimed as she inspected them, before turning to Ethan. "And look how much you've grown!"

She hugged both boys once more. She hadn't been prepared for how much she had missed all her children. Before long Adam and Beth emerged from the house and Jamie from the stables. After more hugs and kisses and hurried reassurances at how well everything had gone in their absence, they carried the trunks into the house and settled into the parlor to catch up properly.

Jamie had kept things running smoothly at the ranch and business could not have been better. Charlie had kept the boys in line, and Ethan quietly admitted to his mother that he was glad she was back because Charlie was even fiercer about homework than Lou. Adam and Beth had taken over the rooms above the medical clinic in town and, after some redecorating, were due to move into their new home in less than a week. Lou was not terribly enthusiastic about this as she'd been looking forward to spending plenty of time together under one roof, but she didn't let this dampen their happiness.

"You should have told us you were coming early," Charlie eventually chastised them. "Beth and I were planning a welcome home feast."

"Well, we'll still have the party, we'll just have to make do with what we've got," Beth reassured her. She held out a hand to Charlie and both girls disappeared into the kitchen to consult with Mrs. Greig.

Kid raised an eyebrow at the comradeship between them. He turned to Adam.

"I know, don't ask me what happened," he chuckled. "We came home prepared to do battle with the mistress of the house but she and Beth have become firm friends."

"Thank God for that, otherwise we'd have been under Charlie's thumb this whole time," Jamie contributed, wrestling with an over-excited Jake. "That girl sure likes to run things."

"And… Charlie has a beau," Adam reported, the mirth evident in his eyes as he waited for his parents' reaction.

"What?" Lou choked out in surprise.

"Who?" Kid asked, a little less ebullient at this news.

"Dan Lawson. He started visitin' a month or so ago," said Jamie. "I thought he was lookin' for work but apparently he's sweet on Charlie."

Kid looked unhappy, which amused both Adam and Jamie.

"Don't worry, Pa, we grilled him good and proper," said Jamie. "He's half scared one of us is gonna take a switch to him if he looks at her the wrong way."

"Dan Lawson's a nice boy," Lou commented for Kid's benefit, but she was pleased that Jamie obviously had things under control to rein in any overtly enthusiastic intentions Dan might have towards Charlie.

"What are y'all talking about?" asked Charlie as she returned with cool drinks and cookies for everyone.

"Ma and Pa were about to tell us about New York," Adam lied. He knew Charlie was embarrassed about the attentions of the young man, as she was used to being treated like one of the boys. He laid his arm around Beth who took a seat beside him.

The rest of the family started firing questions at them.

"What did you see?"

"What was the hotel like?"

"What did you bring us?"

Lou smiled broadly as she gazed around the room at her children. She had never felt so happy than in that moment.

* * *

A week later Kid and Jamie helped move the last of the furniture into Adam and Beth's new home. The three rooms about the doctors' office were hardly luxurious accommodation, but Beth beamed with pride as she set about unpacking their belongings. She had sewed curtains and hooked a few rugs in order to make the place homier. Lou was surprised how little she had brought from her grandfather's house in St. Louis – only a few pieces of furniture and piles of books, the rest had been purchased in Sweetwater or brought from the ranch.

Jamie tramped up the back stairs and entered through the kitchen, his arms full of more books.

"Where do you want these?" he puffed, struggling to see over the stacks.

"Oh," Beth murmured, noticing that the table and one bookshelf they owned were already full. "Just set them down on the floor please, Jamie."

She grinned guilty as he did as she asked, wiping his brow and trooping back downstairs for more. "I didn't realize just how many books I brought," she commented to her mother-in-law.

Lou picked up a couple of them, but she was not familiar with the titles. "What are you going to do with them all?"

"I've been lending some to the school – Mr. Burke even asked if I would take some reading classes with the children."

Lou smiled, impressed. "A school library. We've never had one of those."

"Well, it's hardly a library, but that's not a bad idea," Beth mused. "Some of the children are quite enthusiastic readers."

She set about sorting through the books on the table, humming to herself, while Lou stood back and quietly contemplated her. After a few minutes, Beth realized she was being watched and looked up curiously.

"You seem happy," Lou stated kindly.

"I am," replied Beth, a little color appearing on her cheeks. She looked back down at what she was doing. "Did you expect me not to be?"

Lou sat down at the table. "No, it's not that," she said hastily, not wanting Beth to misunderstand her. "I guess I was just worried that you'd find all of this too, I don't know, simple compared to what you're used to."

"I'm a little more resilient than that, I hope."

"I just wanted you to know… I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad you're part of our family," Lou said with real sincerity.

"Thank you, Louise," replied Beth softly, using her name for the first time.

Lou smiled in response. "Now, what I can do to help?"

* * *

Before long Christmas was upon them. A cold snap brought a fierce snow storm a few days before which left the fields covered in white. The weather cleared on Christmas Day, however, and the whole family gathered at the ranch for the midday meal. Ethan and Jake played in the snow, and then Charlie and Beth cheered on from the porch as Adam and Jamie joined in, each teaming up with a young brother for a serious snowball fight. Only Lou's call to lunch stopped the competition, from which Adam and Ethan emerged as the victors.

After a satisfying meal they retired to the living room to exchange gifts. As usual the younger boys were the most vocal in their delight, but Lou was surprised when Charlie's favorite present turned out to be a new bonnet from Beth. She marveled at the change in her daughter, who only a year earlier would have turned her nose up at such a gift. But whether it was the influence of having a woman close to her own age in the family or the fact that Dan Lawson continued to try and win her favor, Charlie was a different, much happier girl, which pleased her mother very much.

"It's your turn to give Beth her present," Ethan informed Adam after most of the gifts had been distributed and opened.

"We already gave our presents to each other this morning," his brother responded.

"See?" Beth said, holding out her wrist so Ethan could inspect the gold bracelet which encircled it.

"It's beautiful, Beth," Lou commented.

"What did you get?" Ethan asked Adam.

"A wonderful book I've been wanting to read."

Ethan was less than impressed with that and moved on to inspect Jamie's new boots that he'd received from their mother.

"Actually, I received another present," Adam said, grinning.

"Adam!" Beth blushed as she knew very well what he was about to say.

"What? We have to tell them some time," he replied quietly, unable to hide his excitement.

"You don't have to make a big announcement…"

"Actually, I do." Adam stood up. "Everyone, Beth is going to have baby!"

The parlor erupted into thrilled cries of congratulations and other enthusiastic utterings. A self-conscious Beth soon forgot her embarrassment and received heartfelt embraces from the whole family, none more so than from her mother-in-law. Though unprepared for the announcement, her past dismay at the idea was immediately forgotten and all at once Lou found she had no problem at all with becoming a grandmother.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12

**Chapter 13**

As the weather grew warmer Beth started spending more time at the ranch. It was a busy time with spring foals and cattle herds being driven north, and many cattlemen needing to replenish their stock of horses. Adam was often out making calls to the surrounding farms so he would take Beth with him as far as the ranch and collect her on his return.

Charlie was often too busy with the horses to keep her company – even her newfound womanhood did not prevent her from being involved with the foaling. But Melanie was a frequent visitor to the ranch, as always, and she and Lou spent many pleasant hours talking while Beth sewed baby clothes and knitted blankets. No one was more excited than the mother-to-be at the prospect of the baby, but she had five more months to wait.

Adam arrived just in time for lunch one day, and joined the family as they sat around discussing the latest goings on in town.

"Did you talk to the Marshal, Pa?" asked Jamie between mouthfuls.

"What about?"

"Have you see Skydancer's colt, Beth?" Charlie said at the other end of the table. "You have to come down and see him, he's perfect."

"Some gang's been causin' trouble out near Caxton. They held up the bank and robbed the mail coach on their way outta town. Marshal wants us to be prepared in case they come this way."

"Tucker Boyd's gang, isn't it? I saw him putting up the posters this morning," Adam joined in.

"Yup, reward's already 100."

"There are other colts but none as good as this one," continued Charlie. "Now I just have to think of a name for him."

"Well, let's just wait and see if we're needed," Kid mused. "Hopefully they won't pass through this way."

"What do you think, Beth?" Charlie asked persistently, but it was obvious she was not listening.

Lou was talking with Melanie and absorbed in her own conversation but Charlie's sharp voice soon interrupted her.

"Beth, are you feeling all right?"

Lou looked up to see a very pale Beth suddenly get to her feet, somewhat shakily.

"Would you all excuse me for a moment?" she murmured, then quickly left the room.

All conversation had stopped and Adam hastily followed her out.

"Is she all right?" asked Jamie, his fork paused halfway between his plate and his mouth.

"She's fine, you all go on eatin'," Lou ordered, mostly for the benefit of Ethan and Jake who didn't understand what was going on.

She went out to find Beth and Adam on the front porch, the former having regained a little color and Adam holding her hand helplessly. He looked up in appreciation when his mother emerged and handed Beth over to her.

"I'll just get her some water," he said before slipping back inside the house.

Beth looked at Lou with a wan smile. "I thought I was over it. But the last few days…"

Lou squeezed her arm reassuringly. "It'll pass. The first one's always the worst. Jamie was for me. Although… I was sick to my stomach with all the boys. Charlie was the only one I didn't get morning sickness with."

Beth laughed noiselessly, as if this was supposed to make her feel better.

"Well, maybe that solves one mystery at least – whether it will be a boy or a girl."

"No, you never can tell," Lou replied, staring out over the yard. She listened as Beth took a few deep breaths. "Better?"

She nodded and placed her hand over Lou's in thanks. She had not been having an easy time of it and she was glad that she had Lou to comfort her. Having a doctor for a husband was one thing, but most of the time she just felt better having someone else close by who had had children. Beth knew very little of what to expect and she found herself growing more dependent on Lou's calm confidence that everything would be fine.

Adam returned with a glass of water which she drank gratefully. When she turned to go back inside Beth found Kid, Melanie, Jamie, Charlie, Ethan and Jake all crowded around the doorway expectantly, wanting to make sure she was feeling better. Lou shooed them away before she grew too self-conscious then grinned at Beth as she ushered her inside. Beth didn't mind – it was the price she paid for having a large family who cared about her, and she wouldn't have changed it for the world.

A few days later Beth emerged from the bedroom in her small house and gingerly sat down opposite Adam at the breakfast table. He eyed her carefully and was about to offer to make her some eggs, but one look at the remnants on his plate made her blanch further, so he decided against it. He swallowed the last of his coffee and got up to pour her a glass of milk instead.

"What are you planning to do today?" he asked gently as he handed her the glass. He tried to mask the sympathy in his voice lest he be reminded again that it was his fault she had morning sickness.

"I'm supposed to be visiting the school this morning for a literature class," Beth replied dully, her head resting in her hand. She still felt unwell and seemed to be getting worse rather than better. Adam assured her it would pass, as did Lou, but she was beginning to doubt them.

"Maybe you should stay here and rest instead," Adam suggested, pulling on his black vest and buttoning it over his crisp white shirt.

"I don't want to let the children down."

Adam crouched down beside her chair. "I'm sure they won't mind. You look terrible."

"Thank you very much!"

"I don't mean it like that," he said quickly after a small sigh. "You shouldn't push yourself."

"I hardly think reading to a group of school children is pushing myself," she countered testily, but then her voice softened. "Stop worrying about me, I'll be fine."

Adam planted a kiss on her temple, then got up to clear the table.

"I've got a couple of calls to make in town this morning, then I'm due at the McClusky farm after lunch. I'll come back to check on you before I go, all right?"

"You don't have to."

"But I want to." He threw her a loving smile. "As if I could stay away."

"I thought I looked terrible," she reminded him through half-closed eyes.

"Terribly beautiful," he corrected before kissing her again. "And tonight, I'll be all yours. I'll cook dinner and you won't have to lift a finger."

Beth smiled enticingly at the proposal and pulled him closer for what he thought was a kiss, before she whispered, "We're having dinner with the family tonight."

Adam groaned. "I forgot. Maybe we should beg off."

"We can't, Dan Lawson is coming for supper," Beth said in an ominous tone. "I promised Charlie we'd go for moral support."

"Why do I want to lend Dan moral support?"

"Not him, silly, for Charlie. You know what your father and brother are like. And that poor boy is nervous enough as it is."

Adam collected his jacket from the back of his chair. "He should be nervous. Charlie can be quite… formidable."

"So can your family," Beth replied drolly. She had plenty of experience when it came to feeling like the outsider of the Morgan family. "You have to at least give him half a chance."

Adam was about to argue the contrary when there came a timid but persistent knocking at their back door. Thinking it must be family, as no one else ever used that door, Adam crossed the small kitchen to open it.

The man standing on the back landing was not long out of his teens, his face drawn and worried. "Is there a doc here?"

"I'm Dr. Morgan."

"My brother… his leg's busted," he stated in an agitated voice.

"Where is he?"

The man noticed Beth sitting at the table, but looked away as quickly as he'd glanced at her. "Back at the farm. Got no wagon or I'da brung him to town. You gotta come with me."

"Of course, let me get my bag. How far away is your farm?"

"Hour, maybe more." He thought for a moment, then brightened as he remembered. "The Michaels place."

"I'll take the wagon in case I need to bring him back here," Adam said as he drew the man back outside. "What's your name?"

"J-John."

"John, if you wait for me at the front of the clinic I'll be down in a moment. Then we'll go help your brother."

John hesitated, unsure of the delay this course of action might cause. Adam smiled reassuringly and led him onto the back landing. Once he was on his way, Adam retrieved his medical bag from Beth who had it waiting for him.

"I guess my calls in town will have to wait."

"I'll let Dr. Browne know."

"I'll still try and get back for the McClusky's this afternoon but if I'm not he'll have to go instead."

"I'll tell him." She kissed him swiftly.

"I mean it, take it easy today," he repeated with concern.

Beth smiled indulgently. "Would you stop worrying? I'm fine."

"I'll be back as soon as I can."

She nodded, but a wave of nausea passed through her which made any further conversation difficult. Adam's response was a supportive grimace.

"How did Louise get through this with four boys?" Beth said to herself once he was gone. After a deep breath of fresh morning air she closed the door.


	14. Chapter 14

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 14**

The trip in the wagon was taking longer than John anticipated. He rode ahead, agitated that the doctor could not keep up with his horse when the terrain grew rougher.

"We hafta hurry," he said for at least the tenth time.

Adam geed up the horses again but he couldn't travel very fast in a wagon. He gritted his teeth as the wheels hit a rock and jolted him in his seat.

"What did you say happened to your brother?" he asked, hoping to distract John as well as learning a little about the situation before they reached the injured man.

"I didn't," John replied abruptly. After a raised eyebrow from Adam he hastily continued, "He was plowin' the fields. It was an accident."

"How far do we have to go?"

"Not long." John rode ahead, deciding further conversation would only waste time.

True to his word, twenty minutes later they arrived at a run down cabin. The surrounding land was overgrown and it had clearly been some time since it had been a working farm. Three saddled horses were tethered outside but there were no other signs of life.

John waited impatiently, nervously even, as Adam drew the wagon to a stop and gathered up his bag.

"He's in here."

John stood back and let him enter the cabin first. Adam took the lead and pushed open the door that was barely on its hinges. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the gloomy interior, but when they did he saw another man lying on an old cot. His upper leg was tied with a bloodied rag, and he was obviously in pain.

Adam was about to step towards him when he heard a gun being cocked. He stopped, his breath catching in his throat, before he turned his head slightly to see two more men just inside the door, one of them aiming a gun at his head.

"'Bout time you got here," the wounded man groaned angrily.

John pushed past Adam. "Got him here as fast as I could. He brung a wagon."

"We don't need no wagon, just a doc." The man looked at Adam who still hadn't moved. "What are you waitin' fer? Come fix this here leg."

The gunman poked the weapon roughly into Adam's shoulder, pushing him forward. Adam tried to remain calm, quickly glancing at his surroundings as he approached the cot. His hands were trembling slightly as he placed his bag down, but he forced them to be still as he started to unpack it. Without having to look twice he could see the injury was a bullet wound. The man's trousers were soaked with blood despite the rag that had been tied tightly over it, causing the sweaty face and grey pallor which he wore.

"What happened here?" Adam asked evenly.

The man fixed him with an amused if feverish look. "What's it look like? Had myself an accident on the way to church."

The other two men chuckled but John had not lost his concerned expression. "Fix him up, doc, come on."

Adam removed the rag and set about inspecting the wound. The bullet was still in the leg. After informing the patient of this fact he was ordered to remove it.

"I can't do it here, you'll have to come back to town."

"I told you, Tucker," John said in exasperation. "I told you we shoulda just gone there in the first place."

Adam's expression did not falter when he heard the name, but he knew the man must be Tucker Boyd and he knew what line of work he and his men were in. The wanted signs tacked up around Sweetwater listed just some of their crimes. And Boyd knew that he knew who he was, Adam realized, when a small, bitter smile appeared on the man's lips.

"I ain't goin' to town, doc. So you'd best fix this leg up here, or you'll be the one with the bullet." To reiterate the threat he withdrew a colt from his side. The familiar metallic click followed as he cocked the gun, his eyes not wavering from Adam's.

* * *

Tucker Boyd refused the ether he was offered, only swigging from a whiskey bottle at regular intervals as Adam worked to remove the bullet. His voice grew hoarse from yelling in pain, each cry making John, who was trying to hold a lamp aloft so Adam could see what he was doing, more anxious and uncomfortable. Adam swiped at his brow with his upper arm, his hands bloodied as he dug feverishly for the bullet. With a rush of relief he finally found it, which earned an unwanted slap on the back from John. He closed the wound and bandaged it firmly to stop any further bleeding.

Boyd was weak and half drunk after Adam had finished, but soon rallied when he realized they'd be able to leave.

"You shouldn't be moving, you need to rest," Adam warned, when the man motioned to his brother to help him up.

Boyd laughed gruffly. "Reckon I'm gonna wait here for the law to find me? Let's go, boys."

Adam was trying the wipe the blood from his hands as he watched the man be helped towards the door. The other two men had already gone outside to ready the horses.

"If you rip your stitches you'll start bleeding again. The wound was deep, you need to –"

Boyd turned, pain registering on his face, but he cut Adam off.

"Much obliged to you, doc. But it ain't your concern no more." Boyd turned back towards his brother, then made a short, sharp motion with his head in Adam's direction.

John paled slightly. "Let's just go, Tucker," he whispered.

"Ain't you learned nothin', boy?" Boyd snapped angrily.

"Let's just tie him up… someone'll come lookin' for him after a while."

"And then they'll come after us. You're a goddamn fool." He gripped his brother's shirt, pulling John towards him menacingly. "Now will you do what needs to be done, or do I have to do everythin'?"

John's stare was wide and frightened until Boyd abruptly let go of his shirt. The gun in his hand was slipped into John's and then he hobbled the last few steps out of the door without a backward glance.

Once he was gone John's breathing was quick and shallow as he contemplated the floor. Adam took a step forward and opened his mouth to speak but then John raised his eyes and the gun, pointing it at Adam's chest.

"I'm sorry," John said pitifully.

Panic gripped Adam. "John, please, don't do this. I won't tell anyone you were here, I swear. Just go and it will be like this never happened."

John shook his head as Adam took a tentative step forward.

"The woman this morning, when you came to my home? That was my wife. She's having a baby," he pleaded, before adding almost as afterthought, "Our first."

"Thank you for what you did for my brother," John said, his eyes welling with sudden tears.

"John, please…"

"I'm sorry."

He cocked the gun and fired.


	15. Chapter 15

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 15**

Jamie arrived at the ranch after delivering some horses, tired and hungry. He was imagining a slice of Mrs. Greig's apple pie when he approached the house, only to find Beth walking towards him. He smiled and automatically removed his hat.

"We weren't expecting you until tonight," he said by way of greeting.

Beth grinned. "Charlie needed some sisterly reassurance."

"Oh yes, _he_'s coming tonight."

"You promised to be nice," Beth reminded him, mockingly stern. "She's nervous enough already."

"Dan Lawson is the one who should be nervous." Jamie had all his best big-brotherly lines prepared and was more than ready to use them. "Doc here too? We should talk strategy before young Dan arrives."

A small frown appeared on Beth's face. "No, I was hoping you had seen him in town."

"I didn't bother passing through, why?"

"He went to help an injured farmer early this morning and was supposed to be back by now. He missed a call to the McClusky's that Dr. Browne had to make instead. A fact he's not too happy about, which he reminded me of repeatedly when I asked him to bring me here on his way."

Jamie shrugged. "Maybe he it just took longer than he expected."

"Maybe," Beth mused, but she didn't sound convinced. "It's just… the man who came to the house, I haven't seen him before. He said he and his brother were farming the Michaels place."

"Really?" Jamie scratched his head. "Old Jim Michaels has a place north of here, but I heard he hasn't farmed in years. He's just a crazy old coot."

"Do you know where it is?"

"Sure."

"Good."

"I take it that means you want me to go riding after my little brother?" Jamie sighed.

He spoke lightly but Beth wasn't able to muster a smile. She wrapped her arms around herself as if a chill had passed through her. "Would you mind? Just in case he's been delayed or there's a problem with the wagon. It might have had a loose wheel…"

Jamie held his hands up. "All right, all right, I'll go."

This time Beth smiled warmly. "Thank you. I know I'm probably being silly…"

He noticed she was paler than usual. Jamie didn't know much about pregnant women but he knew when someone was feeling poorly, and this was the second time in less than a week he'd seen her like this. "Beth, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. It's just… I'd feel better if Adam were here."

Tiredness forgotten, Jamie nodded solemnly. "I'll go find him for you."

"Thank you."

Concern still creasing his brow, Jamie returned to the stables for a fresh horse.

* * *

He made the Michaels place in good time, riding faster than he usually would, but he wanted to get Adam back to the ranch quickly if Beth wasn't well. He saw the wagon outside the dilapidated cabin, but there didn't appear to be anyone about. Hoping Jim Michaels wasn't going to suddenly appear with a shotgun to run him off, he dismounted and made his way inside. The sparsely furnished cabin was empty, and Jamie was about to check around the back when something caught his eye.

A boot was sticking out from behind the table. With a puzzled frown he stepped inside and moved around the table, where he saw his brother lying on the dirt floor. In the middle of Adam's chest was a deep red stain, his eyes open and staring up at nothing.

Jamie's breath left his body when he saw the lifeless stare. He knew in that moment that his brother was dead.

* * *

Beth was standing in the yard when he returned to the ranch, this time in the wagon. It was dusk, and the warm lamplight in the house burned in pale comparison to the red sun that dipped behind the hills. She wrapped a shawl around her shoulders against the cool wind that had picked up, watching as he drew nearer. Jamie averted his eyes for as long as possible, but when he did finally look up he saw an eerie calmness on her face as she waited for him to draw the wagon to a stop. It was if she already knew.

At first he was unable to move, unable to face her, but eventually Jamie got down wearily from the buckboard. All his energy was spent, his movements slow and deliberate. With difficulty he looked up at Beth who she was staring beyond him to the wagon bed. She took a few steps towards it, but stopped as she came alongside him. Her mouth tightened as she struggled to form the words.

"Did you find him?" she whispered.

Jamie nodded dumbly, not able to respond. Beth finally turned her gaze on him, her eyes filling with tears.

"Thank you for bringing him home."

She drew her shawl around her even tighter and then walked slowly towards the back of the wagon. Adam was lying with Jamie's jacket covering his chest. Silently, Beth held onto his boots which reached the end of the wagon bed.

Jamie didn't know what to do. The sound of the screen door startled him and he looked up to see his father walking towards him, a curious expression on his face. Jamie left the hitching post to meet him in the middle of the yard, where he managed to say the brief but devastating words.

"What?" Kid just looked at him, unable to comprehend what he'd said.

Jamie looked helplessly at the wagon and Beth, Kid following his gaze. He started towards it but stopped as soon as he heard Lou's light steps on the porch.

"You're late!" Lou called out, coming towards them. "Dan's already here. Did you track Adam down?"

"Ma…" Jamie began, but he could not tell her. He turned away.

Lou frowned, noticing where Beth was standing and the strange, imploring way Kid was looking at her.

"What is it?" she asked suspiciously, walking quickly towards them. "Where's Adam?"

She started to walk past Kid who reached out to stop her. Held firmly in his grasp, she repeated her question, this time more urgently.

"Where is Adam?" Frightened by the look on Kid's face, she wrenched herself from him. "Why won't you tell me?"

Kid swallowed with difficulty. "He's in the wagon," he said gruffly.

Lou shook her head imperceptibly and backed away from him. She turned to see Beth, tears streaming down her face, as she stared into the back of the wagon. Unable to focus on anything else, Lou approached it and saw her son. Before she could react Beth turned and buried herself in her arms, weeping.


	16. Chapter 16

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 16**

Jamie and Kid laid Adam out on the bed in the room he'd shared with Beth during the brief time they'd lived at the ranch. One of the hands was sent for the marshal, for all the good it would do. Jamie reported dully that he had also found Jim Michaels in his outhouse, shot in the head. Whoever had killed Adam had done for him as well.

When Kid and Lou told the other children they were shocked and distraught. Charlie ran down to the stables, screaming at Dan Lawson to go home when he tried to comfort her, and would not come back to the house. Ethan and Jake were in their room, quiet and withdrawn, as the rest of the household came to terms with what had happened.

"Where's Beth?" Jamie asked his father as they stood alone in the quiet parlor.

"She's in there with him," said Kid, after clearing his throat.

"And Ma?"

"Upstairs."

Jamie looked around the deserted downstairs area. "What do we do now?"

"There's nothin' we can do. I asked Ray to find Doc Browne when he's in town. Guess I should have asked him to tell Father Sean, too." Kid sat down tiredly, his unfocused eyes staring off into space. "In the mornin' we need to send some telegrams, let people know… They'll want to know."

A heavy silence fell, during which Jamie paced the floor.

"Are we just gonna let her sit in there with him?" Jamie asked wretchedly, taking a few steps towards the back bedroom.

"Let her be." Kid shut his eyes. "Why don't you go find your sister?"

Jamie nodded, grateful for something to do. "What about Ma?"

"I'll see to her," Kid murmured, but he made no move to go upstairs. Lou had not shed a single tear but he knew how devastated she was. It was going to take all of his strength to help her get through it, and at that moment Kid had none to give.

He finally entered their room, after ensuring Jake and Ethan were tucked in for an early night, to find her curled up on the bed. He sat down beside her, gently so as not to disturb her, but Lou's eyes were open and dry. Kid propped his arm up behind her, and caressed her cheek with his other hand.

"Lou?"

She didn't respond and Kid wondered if she even heard him. "We should make sure Beth's all right."

Still there was no response.

"You know she's not well. This… this might be too much for her. We have to think of her and the baby."

Lou slowly turned over and faced the other direction, turning her back on him. She pulled her arm over her ear to block him out. Kid sighed wearily. He wasn't surprised that she shut him out, he knew his wife well enough to understand that she wanted to be alone. But neither of them had lost a child before, and he needed her now. After a few more minutes of silence he leaned down slowly and left a kiss on her shoulder, then went back downstairs to check on his daughter-in-law.

* * *

There were visitors at the ranch from first light. The marshal arrived with half a dozen men on horseback. He informed Kid that there were reports that Tucker Boyd's gang had been seen in the next town two days earlier, and that a deputy there thought he'd managed to shoot him. They were riding after them to try and hunt them down, though Kid knew there was little chance of finding the gang. Jamie knew the truth too, but it didn't stop him saddling up and leaving with the posse.

Soon after Melanie arrived and immediately went to sit with Lou. Their housekeeper, Mrs. Greig, took charge of the younger boys and saw that they were fed and playing quietly in their room. Kid shook hands with the minister when he came and showed him into the room where Beth was still sitting with Adam. It was only then that he managed to convince her to leave the room so she could rest properly, having sat up with him all night.

"I didn't want him to be alone," she whispered, before half-collapsing in Kid's arms from exhaustion.

Dr. Browne finally arrived, having spent the night at the McClusky's instead of returning to town. Distressed at what had happened to his young protégé, he mumbled his condolences but was too stunned to say much else. He checked on Beth and assured Kid that she just needed to sleep – both she and the baby were all right. Then he examined Adam and, after cleaning and preparing the body, informed Kid that his death would have been quick, as the bullet had pierced his heart. Kid knew that somewhere deep down he should be grateful for that small mercy, but he was having difficulty being grateful for anything.

Friends and neighbors called throughout the morning, as the news spread like wildfire throughout the town and the surrounding area. Though he had not been their doctor long, Adam was born and raised in Sweetwater and loved by many. The whole community was shocked at the senseless murder and plans for additional riders to try and track down his killer were made.

In the end they were not needed. That night Jamie returned to the ranch, bone tired, having had no sleep. But they'd found their man – Tucker Boyd was lying dead by the side of the trail half a day's ride from the Michaels farm. His leg had bled profusely despite the fresh stitches and bandages that had been applied, and he'd just been left there, unburied. There was no sign of the rest of the gang.

Charlie hugged Jamie and then left to make him a plate of food from the multitude of offerings that their neighbors had brought. The news of Boyd's death did little to comfort the Morgan family. Lou barely acknowledged it, although she had finally risen from her bed and held Jake as he cried for his brother. But when he asked her why it had happened, why God had allowed Adam to be taken from them, she had no answers.

* * *

The funeral was held the next day. Kid wondered if they should wait as Beth had asked that her brother and grandfather be notified of Adam's passing. But she insisted that it go ahead. Apart from their neighbors and friends in town, only Rachel was able to make it from Denver in time to be there too. She quietly took control of the house in Lou's stead and made arrangements for the wake to be held there afterwards.

The funeral itself was short. Adam was buried in the small family plot by the creek, his final resting place next to Teaspoon. Only the minister spoke, intoning a solemn prayer, after which the family then friends each dropped a handful of dirt into the open grave. Lou received the condolences of her friends with a detached blankness that worried Kid and Rachel. Melanie had not been able to get through to her either.

But it was Beth who everyone was most concerned about. Tears streamed down her face throughout the funeral, her face deathly pale against her black dress. Jamie took her by the arm and led her away as the procession slowly made its way back to the house. Ethan held her other hand, having not left her side all day.

It wasn't until they returned to the house that people began to reminisce about Adam and sharing stories about his childhood. Ben Ashmore recalled a time when he and his wife first arrived in Sweetwater and Adam had thrown up at their feet, having just won a berry eating contest over his big brother. Others remembered the shy, sensitive boy who had befriended just about every stray dog in town, or who stared in wide-eyed wonder through the window at the dentist as he pulled teeth. Each of them had fond memories of Adam which pleased the family, and even Lou managed to smile at the way he was remembered.

As the afternoon wore on most people began to leave. Beth, having grown tired of the concerned looks and sympathetic smiles, slipped quietly from the house and made her way back towards the gravesite. Though she knew they meant well, she just wanted peace and quiet. As she approached the shady spot by the creek she was surprised to see a lone figure standing by the freshly filled plot.

She walked almost silently so he did not hear her until she was upon him. Jamie turned his head abruptly and stared at her through reddened eyes, his cheeks wet. He looked back, not wanting her to see him cry. But now he had started he could not stop. Jamie's shoulders slumped as the sobs shook his broad frame. Beth stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, resting her cheek on his back. After a moment he turned around and held her as he continued to cry. Beth's own tears soaked into his jacket as she hushed him. She knew how close Adam and Jamie had been, and wished he had not been the one to find him like he did.

"I'm sorry," Jamie said eventually, pulling away from her and wiping his hands across his eyes and cheeks.

"Don't be."

"I thought I was okay, but hearin' everyone talk about him…"

"I know." Beth smiled bitterly. "If I hear one more person tell me how lucky I am that at least I'll have his baby…"

She broke off as emotion overwhelmed her and she wept again. "As if that makes up for losing him."

Jamie took her hand in his.

"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked mournfully, her eyes pleading with him to provide the answer. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

"I know," Jamie whispered as he drew her to him once more. He held her tightly. "I know."


	17. Chapter 17

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 17**

A week after the funeral Rudy and his wife arrived in Sweetwater. No one felt up to having visitors stay at the ranch, so they took a room at a hotel in town. Beth was glad her brother had come, even if he wasn't the most sympathetic of men. He got right down to business after he came to the ranch to see her.

"I've come to bring you home, Bethy," Rudy stated bluntly, as they sat alone in the parlor.

"What?" she murmured, not expecting at the surety of his tone, as if the decision had already been made.

"You should come back to St. Louis with Claire and me. Grandfather agrees."

Beth sighed tiredly. She had not been sleeping well, still suffering from bouts of nausea throughout the day and night. Her face was pale, dark smudges under her eyes which matched the dourness of her dress.

"Do I get a say in this?" she retorted, unable to mask the irritability in her voice.

Rudy was surprised by her tone, used to her mild-mannered demeanor. "Of course you do. But you know it's the right thing to do. With Adam gone you can't stay here. You owe it to him to raise your child where it can receive the very best care and education. You need to be with your own family."

Beth got up and stood by the window. In truth she had already contemplated the very thing Rudy was proposing, but hearing it from her brother's lips made her feel like she was betraying Adam somehow.

"I don't know…" she said quietly.

"What would you do if you stayed here? You have the child to think of."

Beth parted the curtains in order to watch Ethan and Jake playing in the yard. "We made a home here."

"What, those rooms above the clinic? I've seen your home, Beth, and I cannot believe that's the best Adam could do for you. I thought he'd at least have–"

"Don't you speak of my husband that way!" Beth spat at him angrily, whirling around from the window.

Rudy was taken aback at her outburst, but he straightened his vest, reminding himself that she was grieving. He tried again.

"You need to do what's best for yourself and the child now."

"I'm not exactly destitute, Rudy. We had a little money saved and I have my inheritance from our parents."

He scoffed dismissively at her words. "That is hardly a sum of money large enough to look after yourself, let alone a child. Be sensible, Bethy."

She sighed again, returning her gaze to the window. "I've always been sensible."

Rudy opened his mouth to point out that marrying a man from a small town in the middle of nowhere and insisting on making her home there was hardly sensible, but he feared another scolding from her.

"You cannot be considering raising your child out here," Rudy said gently, trying a different approach. He moved to stand by her side and took her hands in his. "It's not safe. Look at what happened to Adam – shot by an outlaw when he was just to help an injured man. I shudder to think what might happen to you alone in this place. Or the child."

Beth pondered this thought, and it frightened her to her core. She rested a hand on her small belly, trying not to imagine that terrible scenario.

"Please, Bethy, come home," Rudy urged her.

She raised her eyes to meet her brother's, indecision etched in her features.

* * *

Jamie was tempted to throw Rudy off the property when he found out what he was proposing.

"She can't leave," he thundered, pacing the length of the dining table as the rest of the family sat trying to eat, but no one had any appetite.

Beth had taken Rudy for a walk to Adam's gravesite, giving them only a short time to talk in her absence.

"We don't want Beth to go," Jake piped up, Ethan nodding solemnly beside him.

"She has to do what's right for her," reasoned Kid quietly, but he was just as unhappy as the rest of them.

"What's right is if she stays here, she's part of this family!" Jamie replied angrily.

"Maybe she thinks she has to go, now that Adam…" murmured Charlie, unable to finish the thought.

"That's crazy, why would she think that?"

"She's gonna have a baby, Jamie," his father reminded him. "Maybe she'd feel safer with her own family."

"That baby is Adam's too, and it belongs here. They both do."

"It's not our decision to make," Kid said firmly.

Jamie threw up his hands in frustration, annoyed that no one else seemed to think Beth leaving Sweetwater was wrong. None of them wanted to her to go, but they weren't up in arms about it either. He glared at his family before turning his anger on his mother who sat at the head of the table, unspeaking.

"Aren't you going to say somethin'? Anythin'? Do you even care she might be leavin'?" Jamie yelled at her.

Lou looked up at her son but did not respond. She had said very little since Adam had died, and seemed not to care about much anymore.

Her silence infuriated him even more. "I guess you don't, huh? Maybe if you hadn't been so damn cold to her when she first came here, treatin' her like she didn't belong–"

"That is enough, Jamie," Kid shouted, rising to his feet.

Jamie swallowed the rest of his words, knowing he was being unfair in taking his feelings out on his mother. He looked regretfully at Lou. "Ma–"

But she ignored him and rose slowly from the table. Without a glance at anyone she left the room and climbed the stairs to retreat into her bedroom once more.

* * *

Later that night when the rest of the household was asleep, Beth sat in the rocking chair in her room, thinking about what she was going to do. She glanced around the glum, unadorned walls of the bedroom which was really Jamie's. He had moved into the bunkhouse once more so she did not have to stay in the room downstairs which she'd shared with Adam, and where his body had lain when it had been brought home. The pale light from her lantern cast gloomy shadows around her, which reflected her mood perfectly.

Beth was lost in thought and was startled when she heard a faint knocking on her door.

"Come in," she called softly, wrapping her shawl around her nightdress. She was surprised when Lou's face appeared around the door.

"I saw your light on," she said, but did not enter the room.

"I couldn't sleep." Beth rose from her seat. "Please, come in."

She had seen little of Lou since the funeral and had spoken to her even less. Both women were too consumed by their own grief to offer much comfort to the other. Beth didn't know what to say to her. Lou glanced around the room, avoiding meeting her eyes. It wasn't until Beth offered her a seat on the edge of the bed and she had sat down that she finally looked at her.

"Your brother came," Lou stated.

"Yes."

When Beth didn't offer any further explanation Lou continued, "I hear he's asked you to go home to St. Louis."

Beth bobbed her head. "Yes."

Again Lou waited, but there was only silence. "And are you?"

"I don't know." Beth didn't know where to look, and wished Lou would stop staring at her so intently. She sat down in the rocking chair opposite her.

"I'll understand if you do," Lou said with guarded empathy. "It must be hard for you, bein' away from your family."

Beth frowned slightly, wondering why Lou was making it easy for her to make the decision. Everything Rudy had said was true – she had little money, and no real way to support herself or a child. Perhaps she was being foolish, thinking she should stay.

Lou leaned forward to catch her eye, and this time she spoke with more difficulty. "But you need to know that, if you want to stay, you're part of this family."

Beth's vision grew misty at her mother-in-law's words, and her throat tightened painfully.

"This is your home now," she went on. "And you being here means part of Adam is too. I don't mean the baby. The memory of the two of you. It's like we still have him with us."

Lou reached out and took her hand, her own eyes filling with tears. "I didn't expect I'd lose my son," she whispered, her voice failing her. "And I would hate to lose you, too."

Beth smiled as she wiped furtively at her cheeks. She had not expected such a candid admission from Lou. "I don't want to be a burden."

"Beth, we want you here, all of us..." Lou said determinedly, squeezing her hand. "We need you here. Please stay…"

A small sob escaped Beth's lips as she nodded and moved into Lou's waiting arms. Her mother-in-law held her tightly as both women gave into their overwhelming loss. And for the first time, Beth felt like she was home.


	18. Chapter 18

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 18**

It was another month before Beth could bring herself to pack up the last of their belongings in town. She had already moved most of her possessions to the ranch but there were still Adam's things to remove, and it was a task she kept putting off. But Dr. Browne had advertised for a new doctor and one would be arriving within the fortnight. It made sense that he should live above the clinic, and Beth knew she wouldn't be able to keep paying for a home she wasn't even living in. Still, part of her felt she was losing Adam all over again. It was with a heavy heart that she asked Jamie to take her into town.

She felt like a stranger in her own home when she let herself in. Memories of her brief marriage flooded through her, causing Beth to take a few deep breaths so she could get to work. As Kid and Jamie loaded the few pieces of the furniture in the wagon, she sorted through her books and other belongings. At some point, and without her knowledge, Jamie had taken it upon himself to pack Adam's clothes so she did not have to. He sheepishly admitted it when she questioned him, and was rewarded with an unexpected kiss on the cheek.

"This the last of it?" he asked, scanning for anything else to load in the wagon. He could see the tears beginning to well in her eyes.

"Just these books," Beth replied, forcing a smile onto her face that lasted only a few seconds. "Thank you."

"Pa's gone on to the livery, so we'll be ready to head back shortly."

"I'll be finished up soon," she assured him.

After Jamie had taken the final crate of books downstairs Beth wandered through the nearly bare rooms, saying a silent goodbye. For all the happy items she had had in the house, she still felt closer to Adam at the ranch. Beth knew she had done the right thing in staying, and that it was what Adam would have wanted. She rubbed her hands over her belly, reaffirming her belief.

She waited until she had composed herself properly before moving to the back landing for the last time. She was about to descend the stairs when she stopped, stepping back quickly so as not to intrude on the scene below.

Beth peered curiously around the door frame at Jamie who stood by the wagon, murmuring intently to a brown-haired young woman. Beth recognized her as Sally Johnson, whose father owned the biggest general store in town. She was a bright, friendly girl who had immediately made Beth feel welcome when she'd arrived in Sweetwater, although she'd seen little of her since.

She knew she shouldn't be watching, but Beth did not go back inside the house. Instead she saw Sally's hand rest on Jamie's chest in a consoling way as she spoke to him, her large, blue eyes round with concern for him. When he placed his hand over hers Beth could not miss the intimacy between them. She was surprised at first but smiled at the fact that Jamie and Sally were obviously close.

After a few moments Jamie placed a soft kiss on Sally's lips then stepped away, prompting Beth to clear her throat noisily as she shut the door behind her and made her way down the stairs. There was only a hint of a blush on Sally's face when Beth greeted her. Jamie, however, opened his mouth to speak but his words faltered, which prompted Beth to initiate the conversation.

"It's lovely to see you, Sally," she said warmly, silently affirming her approval for Jamie's benefit.

"And you, Beth. I saw you were in town," Sally replied with a little awkwardness. She retrieved a parcel wrapped in brown paper from the wagon seat. "I was going to come out to the ranch to give you this, but, as you're here…"

She handed her the parcel, which Beth opened to reveal a delicate baby blanket.

"How kind, thank you." Beth was touched by the gift. "Sally, you shouldn't have."

"I– I wanted to. I just… I just wanted you to know how sorry I am. Adam was a good man." She twisted her hands uneasily, not wanting to say anything to upset Beth. "We only arrived in Sweetwater a few years ago, not long before he left for college. But he was always very kind to me and my family."

"Thank you." Beth took her hand, glancing at Jamie who looked quietly pleased.

This time Sally did blush. "Well, I should get back to the store. I hope we'll still see you around town sometimes."

"I'm sure you will."

Sally smiled and waved farewell, her eyes lingering on Jamie a little longer before she turned and walked away. He watched her go, then casually busied himself with securing the belongings in the wagon. He studiously avoided Beth's gaze which only amused her further.

"That was very kind of Sally, wasn't it?" Beth commented lightly.

"Uh huh."

"She's a nice girl."

"Yes, she is."

Beth smothered a smile at his coyness. "Someone would be fortunate to court a young lady like that."

"S'pose." Jamie glanced at her then and knew from her expression that she'd seen them together. He turned his back once more and focused on the wagon.

"You should invite her out to the ranch some time."

"Maybe I will," he mumbled. He paused, deciding whether or not to say any more. "The others don't know yet."

Beth rounded the other side of the wagon so she was next to him again.

"Why haven't you told them?"

He didn't respond and she waited until she had caught his eye. "This is a good thing, Jamie," she said quietly and genuinely.

Jamie stopped what he was doing, embarrassed, but more than that he was concerned for her feelings. "I didn't want to say anything to you, with Adam…"

"You deserve to be happy. I'm glad for you." Beth smiled and clutched the blanket to her chest. She held out a hand so he could help her up onto the wagon.

Once he had joined her he picked up the reins, but made no move to go.

"She is a nice girl, isn't she?" he said thoughtfully, which prompted a brief grin from Beth.

She looped her arm in his. "Yes, she is. Come on, let's go find your father and go home."

* * *

Beth's wakefulness continued in the days that followed, and she often found herself wide awake in the middle of the night. It was the only time she actually felt hungry, so she would frequently make her way quietly to the kitchen, trying not to wake the others, and help herself to leftovers which Mrs. Greig had taken to leaving out for her. One night, she was rewarded with blueberry pie. Beth had just enjoyed her first mouthful when Charlie found her.

"Did I wake you?" she asked guiltily, her hand covering her mouth as she finished chewing.

"No, I couldn't sleep either. The moon is so bright tonight," Charlie said quietly, slipping into a seat opposite her. She helped herself to a piece of pie crust, then retrieved a fork so she could sample it further. "You?"

"Too hungry to sleep." It was easier than talking about the real reason for her insomnia. Beth had made conscious decision to put on a brave face for the sake of the family who shared her grief over losing Adam, but didn't need to be constantly reminded of it.

The two women ate in a companionable silence for several minutes.

"Did you know Jamie is seeing Sally Johnson?" Beth blurted out, unable to keep the secret any longer.

Charlie raised a curious eyebrow but then shrugged off any surprise she might have felt. "I should have guessed. She's been sweet on him for years."

"Really? I never noticed."

"Nor did he." Charlie grinned. "My brother's always been a little dense when it comes to things like that. He's broken more than a few hearts around here."

"I think it's wonderful," Beth said, pleased that Jamie might had found someone to love.

Charlie didn't sound so convinced. "I guess."

"Don't you like her?"

"Sally's all right. She's a lot smarter than some of those other girls in town." A frown creased Charlie's brow as she thought about the other girls she'd gone to school with who had never really accepted her. "But I'd be just as happy for things to go on the way they been."

Beth thought about this for a moment. "If they had I never would have come here," she reminded her.

Charlie smiled at her sister-in-law who had, despite all her attempts to thwart her, become her friend. "I guess it can turn out all right once and a while."

"You're too kind." They shared a quiet laugh. Beth tilted her head to the side as she watched Charlie, who was biting down on a large piece of pie. "You know, I haven't seen much of Dan Lawson lately."

The jovial mood in the kitchen dissipated as Charlie took her time to chew and swallow her mouthful. She gave a small shrug rather than respond.

"Has something happened between you two?" Beth asked, concerned. "You haven't quarreled, have you?"

"No… We haven't done much of anything, really." Charlie sucked on the end of her fork, no longer interested in eating. "I haven't spoken to him for a while."

"Oh." Beth's gaze focused on the table between them.

"I heard he's sparking Frances Green now," Charlie stated matter-of-factly. When she saw Beth's lack of recognition at the name, she added, "Her father's one of the blacksmiths in town."

Beth nodded slowly. "How do you feel about that?"

Charlie shrugged her shoulders once more. "Honestly? Not much."

Beth smiled sadly. "I guess it's for the best, then."

"Yeah. Besides, I can't respect a boy I can outride every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Or they can't respect me… But it's not my fault I'm better with horses than they are." Charlie sighed dramatically. "They sure can be real confusing sometimes."

"Yes, they can." Beth gave her a reassuring smile. "But they're not all like that."

"Who's confusin'?" came a male voice. A sleepy-eyed Jamie stumbled into the kitchen and slumped into a chair.

"Men," Charlie and Beth said emphatically at the same time.

Jamie looked between the two women and decided to stay out of that particular conversation. Instead he saw at the empty pie plate that sat between them.

"You ate all the pie?" he whined.

"Yep, you're too late," said Charlie without a hint of remorse. She glanced wickedly at Beth. "You could always get Sally to bake you one."

Beth stifled a laugh as Jamie glared at her. "You told her?"

"Told me what?" Charlie asked innocently. "About you and Saaaally Joooohnson?"

"Ha ha, thank you, Miss Charlotte," Jamie replied humorlessly. He turned to Beth. "And you wondered why I hadn't said anything to the family..."


	19. Chapter 19

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 19**

That summer was the hottest that any of the senior citizens of Sweetwater could remember. The sun burned mercilessly in the sky during the day and in the afternoon huge clouds would roll in and storms lashed the plains. One such humid, uncomfortable afternoon there was a sudden rush activity at the ranch. Kid and Jamie were trying to shore up the roof above the barn loft when an excited Charlie came running in breathlessly.

"Beth's havin' the baby!"

Jamie looked in wide-eyed surprise at his father and dropped the hammer he was holding in order to scramble down the ladder. Kid grinned to himself and took his time. Having waited through the delivery of five children he knew all too well that there was no need to hurry.

Lou was returning to the kitchen when Jamie and Charlie rushed into the house, trying to outrun each other and making a racket in doing so.

"Where do you two think you're goin'?" she asked sharply, as Jamie was already clambering up the stairs.

"Is she…?" he panted. "The baby?"

Lou smothered a smile at his concern and naïveté. "Not for a while yet."

"Has someone gone for Doc Browne?"

"Not yet."

"Why not?" Jamie said with exasperation. He moved quickly towards the front door. "I'll go."

"Jamie, stop. We can't send for the doctor now, he'll just be waitin' around." Lou patiently walked her son back into the room. "I'll tell you when it's time to go get him."

"But what if he's not in town? He could be God knows where."

"Everythin' will be fine. I do have some experience with this, you know," she said indulgently. "More than you, at least."

Jamie colored slightly. It was true, he had little idea what would be happening to Beth. When his siblings had been born he had always hid out in the barn until it was all over. It was strange to think of Beth in that situation now – she who was so different from his strong, capable mother. Beth had struggled through her pregnancy and he knew she was scared about giving birth. Jamie had been on edge for weeks as the inevitable day approached.

"Why don't you go wash up, both of you," she added, glancing at Charlie who was just as anxious.

Her daughter nodded, but Jamie took some extra convincing.

"Go, she'll be fine." Lou gave his chest a playful push. She smiled as she watched them slump away, drained of excitement.

Lou hoped her words would ring true. She was secretly worried about Beth herself, as her daughter-in-law was small and already in considerable pain, and obviously frightened about the coming ordeal. Her lack of confidence was quite prominent, despite Lou's reassurances. Lou knew that she was missing Adam, and wanted him to be there for the birth of their child. The family was a poor substitute, despite their best intentions, but Lou was determined to support her the best they could.

* * *

They waited for what seemed like an interminable time. Lamps burned in the house through the night as Jamie sat on the bunkhouse porch, keeping a lonely vigil. Jake and Ethan were thrilled to be bunking in with the ranch hands, while Charlie preferred to put together a makeshift bed in the barn near her beloved horse. Jamie couldn't sleep. He stared up at the dark, cloudy sky, waiting for flashes of lightning that were growing more frequent. There was no rain, however, which left the air feeling heavy.

The doctor had been there for a couple of hours already, but there was no baby yet. Occasionally he heard Beth's cries from the house, but they were so faint he started to wonder if he was imagining them. He felt helpless. Some part of him wished he could do something for Adam, anything that would ensure his child was brought safely into the world. But all Jamie could do was wait.

* * *

After the sun rose the next morning, heralding another hot day, a baby girl arrived. It had been a long and difficult labor, during which Lou feared they might lose them both, but Beth managed to smile weakly when she heard the first cries of her daughter. She was small but perfect, and so much like Adam that Lou felt her heart might burst with happiness.

She was named Hannah for Beth's mother and Louise for Adam's. The new grandmother introduced her to her aunt and uncles and one very proud grandpa, who were assembled in the parlor in anticipation. They all marveled at how tiny she was, and argued quietly over who got to hold her first. But they would all have their turn, as Hannah Louise Morgan was welcomed into the family.


	20. Chapter 20

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 20**

Hannah was three months old before Beth was confident enough to take her away from the ranch. Even then, her reasoning behind taking the baby out was more to do with the fact that Lou was sick with a cold and Beth was fearful it could be catching. A sniffling Lou was rugged up in bed as everyone else bustled around in preparation for the day ahead.

The rest of the family was going to Ben Ashmore's property in order to help him raise a new barn before winter set in. Beth offered to see to the food and actually found herself quite excited about the short trip to their neighbor's place. Even though she was still a little hesitant with Hannah, wanting to ensure she was always warm enough, worried if she cried too much, and generally adjusting to life with a baby, Beth was happy to be venturing forth into the world again after three months at the ranch.

They arrived at Ben's and were greeted by their neighbor and the two hands he had hired on for the season. The plans for the new barn were discussed as Ethan and Jake set about making a nuisance of themselves, despite Charlie's stern words. Ben smiled in amused bewilderment at the sudden invasion of people on his otherwise lonely property.

Beth set Hannah in the cradle they had brought and made herself useful in Ben's kitchen. His home was a cabin made up of only two rooms – she presumed the other was a small bedroom but did not satisfy her curiosity by actually looking. The kitchen and living area was cozy even though it was sparsely furnished and lacked many of the feminine touches she thought it needed.

Ben caught her staring at bare walls when he slipped inside the cabin to make sure she was settled. He explained self consciously that he and his wife had planned to build a bigger house when they needed more room, but the family they dreamed of raising didn't eventuate and now Ben had enough space just for himself.

"It's charming," Beth assured him, embarrassed that he might think her rude.

"I hope you find everything you need," he said awkwardly as she began laying out the food she'd brought from the ranch.

"I'm sure I will. If not I know where to find you," she replied.

Ben smiled absently, not sure what else to say. He felt strange having a woman in his house after living along for more than ten years. Stranger still was the presence of the baby in the cradle that had been placed in the middle of the table. She lay quietly, her smalls hands balled into fists as she stared upwards. Ben peered over edge of the cradle and waggled a finger at her, but he did not touch her.

"She's a real beauty," he offered, not breaking his gaze.

Beth grinned automatically. "Thank you."

She looked at Ben and was taken by how entranced he was with her daughter, unfamiliar as he was with children. She knew something of his past from Kid and Lou, but no one ever talked about it, especially not Ben. She was surprised, then, when he spoke further.

"My wife and I… we had ourselves a boy," he volunteered quietly, still not looking at Beth. "He lived for almost a day. Benjamin, we called him. Ben Jr."

Beth looked at her feet, a sympathetic knot in her stomach for their shy, gentle neighbor.

"My wife passed the day after."

"Ben, I'm so sorry," Beth ventured, knowing the words sounded hollow. Nothing she could say would mean anything, she knew from first hand experience.

"He was a little thing. I could almost hold him in one hand."

Beth looked away, tears in her eyes. Of all the fears she had carried in her own heart before Hannah's birth, Ben had actually lived them. He finally looked away from the baby and saw her expression. Immediately he blushed, feeling he had said too much.

"I'd best get to work," he said, retrieving his hat from the table.

Charlie entered the cabin then, which afforded Beth a moment to blink away her tears and plant a smile on her face.

"What happened to Red? He's got a slight limp," Charlie asked without preamble, not noticing the awkward mood inside.

Ben cleared his throat. "He picked up a stone a couple days ago," he explained, admiration for her keen eye sneaking into his voice. "It's just a bruise."

"I have some liniment that will help. I'll bring you some." She glanced at Beth. "D'you need some help in here?"

"No, I'm fine, you go on with the others," Beth said.

Charlie didn't need to be told twice. Being stuck inside preparing food was not her idea of an enjoyable day. Instead she could make herself useful around Ben's place.

"I can take a look at your other animals, if you'd like," Charlie addressed him once more. "I noticed your other stock horse is looking a little colicky."

Ben nodded in appreciation and ushered her to the door, motioning for her to lead the way. "Miss Charlie."

Before he followed her he looked back at Beth, a warm smile appearing on his face. "Thank you for your help today."

She only nodded in response. After he disappeared out the door behind Charlie she immediately picked Hannah up and cuddled her to her breast. Beth rested her cheek on her daughter's forehead, breathing in her familiar baby scent and being thankful she was alive and well. After everything that had happened she knew she could not survive losing Hannah too.

* * *

Life went on at the ranch. Winter came, forcing Ethan and Jake inside where their restlessness amused and irritated the family in turn. Christmas that year, their first without Adam, was more somber than usual. Everyone tried to keep their spirits up, especially as Ben had surprised them all by finally accepting an invitation to join them for dinner. Kid and Lou had been asking for ten years, but he had always refused. They were pleased to see he was finally starting to spend more time away from his lonely farm.

Hannah was the light of everyone's lives. Though it would be several years before she would truly appreciate Christmas, it didn't stop the family from spoiling her, lavishing attention on the baby who was not yet six months old.

Jamie, in particular, was very protective of his niece. Unlike Charlie who didn't have a huge interest in babies, and Jake and Ethan who were waiting until she was old enough to play with them, Jamie was content just to sit with her in his arms, talking to her intently as if they were carrying on an actual conversation. His natural affinity with Hannah made Lou smile, and she wondered how long it would be before he finally settled down himself to raise a family. Sally Johnson was a regular visitor to the ranch and he certainly spent more time in town than he ever had before, but there had been no announcement yet.

Lou stood at the entrance to the parlor and looked around with a satisfied sigh. The youngest boys were already arguing over their new toys, but with enough good humor that there didn't need to be an intervention yet. Jamie was sitting by the fire making faces at Hannah who rewarded him repeatedly with a toothless smile. Ben was talking with Charlie and Beth, the latter with a mystified look on her face which hinted that the conversation was leaning towards horses and cattle and other things she was not familiar with. But they looked happy, they were all happy. The past year had been the worst in Lou's life, but it was countered with the positive experiences of the birth of her first beloved grandchild, growing closer with Charlie than she had been for some years, Jamie finally finding a girl he might actually convince himself to marry… All in all she found herself feeling happy too.

Kid appeared behind her, resting one hand on the small of her back.

"You okay, Lou?" he asked softly so the others could not hear. He was always mindful of her sorrow which had been so close to the surface since Adam died.

She smiled to reassure him that she was, staring into his caring blue eyes that still warmed her heart. As Lou looked at her husband she wondered when he had gotten greyer around the temples, and why she hadn't noticed before. He was still the same Kid, but there were more lines around his eyes, and a general sense of weariness about him that she wasn't used to. She thought, not for the first time, that without him losing Adam would have been too hard to bear, even if she had not often shown him.

"Are you okay?" she asked in return, her face clouding with concern.

He shrugged slightly. "I'm gettin' there."

Lou wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Kid's arms snaked around her waist as he returned the embrace, and neither of them let go for several minutes. When Lou did pull back, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, she rested her hands on his chest and kissed him tenderly.

"I love you, you know," she murmured emotionally, as if she had never said it before.

"I know," he answered in surprise.

"Merry Christmas, Kid."

"Merry Christmas, Lou." He planted a gentle kiss on her temple then, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, they stepped back into the parlor where they could watch their family. They silently remembered how much they had to be grateful for.


	21. Chapter 21

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 21**

Once the last snow had melted and the weather was warm enough to work outside again, Jamie set about breaking in a couple of new horses. He had taken to breaking in all of their wild stock, Kid deciding he was getting too old to be bucked off a feisty mustang or two. Jamie was working in the top corral when he spied Ben riding into the yard. He held up a hand in greeting and passed the horse's rope to a ranch hand. Jamie pulled off his gloves as he walked towards their neighbor.

"Ben."

"Jamie."

Ben dismounted and looped Red's reins on a hitching post.

"You off to church, or what?" Jamie asked with a grin, surprised at the new shirt and jacket he was wearing. His dark blond hair had been slicked down unsuccessfully, and he wore a look of acuteness shyness even for Ben.

"Is er, is your pa here?" he asked hesitantly, ignoring the teasing question.

"He's due back from town any minute." Jamie crossed his arms over his chest, growing more curious by the second. He had known Ben Ashmore for years but had never seen him like this. "Is anythin' wrong?"

"No, no… no. Nothin' wrong," Ben replied, looking around for some distraction so he didn't have to talk further.

Luckily for him Beth appeared on the porch at that moment. She smiled in greeting at Ben and walked across the yard towards them.

"Mornin' Beth," said Ben, nodding awkwardly.

"Hello Ben, this is a surprise," she said cheerily. "How are things?"

"Fine. Fine," he mumbled, but they obviously weren't.

Jamie clapped a hand on the older man's shoulder. "Ben's here to see Pa."

"I don't think he's back yet, is he?"

"Nope."

"Well, I'm sure he won't be long." Beth's tone was pleasant but she caught the look of anxiousness in Ben's eyes and, after glancing between the two men, felt bound to intercede.

"Perhaps you'd like to take a walk while you're waiting?" she offered. "I was just about to myself. Hannah's down for a nap and I thought I'd talk the opportunity to get some fresh air, now it's not so cold."

"Sure," Ben accepted quickly and with noticeable relief.

"Good." Beth reached out and took Ben's arm, leading him away from Jamie.

They wandered off, talking in low tones, leaving a disconcerted Jamie in their wake. He had no idea what was going on, but was taken aback that Beth had asked Ben to take a walk with her, and that she hadn't included Jamie in the invitation as well. It was unlike Beth to exclude him, and definitely unlike Ben to come to the ranch and take a walk with his sister-in-law.

Jamie stood alone in the yard, wondering what had just happened.

* * *

Inside the house, their departure was also the topic of conversation between Melanie and Lou. Melanie had noted Ben's arrival and Beth, who had been sitting with them chatting until then, suddenly rose to her feet and excused herself to go outside. A bewildered look passed between the two friends at her hasty exit.

"What's all that about?" asked Melanie curiously.

"I have absolutely no idea," Lou replied, and Melanie knew she wasn't covering up.

Both of them moved to the window to watch the proceedings outside. They watched as there was a brief conversation between Jamie, Beth and Ben, and then Jamie was left on his own.

"You don't think…" Melanie said slowly, staring at Lou. "Ben and Beth…?"

Lou stepped back from the window, surprise evident on her face. "I don't know."

"You said he's been visiting more frequently than usual."

"Yes, he has," Lou said thoughtfully. "He even spent Christmas with us."

She took a seat in her armchair once more, but did not speak for several minutes as she contemplated this unforeseen turn of events.

"It makes sense, I suppose," Melanie pondered. "They've both been widowed."

She pressed her lips together, wishing she'd held her tongue. She was acutely aware of Lou's feelings and didn't want to bring up the subject of Adam.

"You're right. Of course, you're right." Lou picked up her teacup and warmed her hands around it. "I just didn't expect it, I suppose."

"It's been a year," Melanie reminded her softly.

"I know, I'm just surprised is all. Ben…" Lou shook her head. "They have nothin' in common."

Melanie smiled, a little sadly. "Wouldn't be the first time that's happened."

Lou knew she was speaking from experience and threw her an understanding glance. "Well, if there is somethin' goin' on, at least she'll be close by… I couldn't imagine not seeing Hannah grow up. I'd hate for them to leave the area if she got remarried."

"Beth's gettin' remarried?" Jamie said sharply, having just entered the room. "Is that why Ben's here?"

"We don't know…" Lou replied hastily, not wanting to speculate. She could see the puzzled anger mounting on her son's face and didn't want him to think badly of his sister-in-law.

Jamie wasn't above jumping to conclusions. "She's Adam's wife," he stated crossly.

Lou sighed tiredly. "Adam's gone, Jamie."

"Just barely. How could she be thinkin' about marryin' someone else? How could Ben come here and take her like that?"

"We don't what's going on, let's not assume anything until we know the truth," Melanie interjected.

"Why else would he come here all gussied up? Why else would he be askin' to speak to Pa?"

"He wants to speak to your father?" Lou asked quietly. She couldn't help but think of Adam either. Melanie looked at her sympathetically.

"Damn it, it ain't right!" Jamie bellowed, and stormed from the room.

Melanie was about to ask if they should go after him when more movement in the yard could her eye.

"Kid's back," she reported. "And so's Ben. I don't see Beth anywhere."

Lou hastily joined her by the window once more and they watched as Ben approached Kid and they shook hands. Ben talked earnestly for a few minutes and Lou was frustrated they could not tell what it was about.

"It doesn't look like they're discussing horses," murmured Melanie, peering out from behind the curtain. "I don't think I've ever seen Ben look so nervous."

"I guess he would talk to Kid about it. I mean, he's the closest thing Beth has to a father here."

They waited with baited breath as the two men continued to talk. Kid gave a nod of his head but seemed bewildered. Ben shook his hand again and quickly mounted his horse. He rode away without a backward glance.

Lou and Melanie could hardly contain their inquisitiveness as Kid walked slowly towards the house. When he entered he looked unmistakably stunned, which immediately piqued Lou's curiosity further.

"What did Ben want?" she asked quickly.

Kid didn't respond straight away as he still digested the news.

"Kid?"

"He asked my permission to call on Charlie," Kid replied evenly.

"What? Charlie?!" the women gasped in surprise.

Lou got to her feet and approached her husband. "What exactly did he say?"

Kid wiped a hand over his forehead. "Just that they'd been spendin' time together and how much he respected her… But that he didn't want to take things further until he knew that we'd be comfortable with him courtin' her properly."

"What did you tell him?"

Kid shrugged helplessly. "What could I say? I told him if it's what Charlie wants… He's comin' to supper tomorrow night."

Lou was just as surprised, but Kid knew that mothers and daughters still had some secrets between them.

"Did you know anythin' about this?" he asked.

"No. I mean, she's been visitin' him recently, but I thought she was just helpin' him look after his horses." Lou smothered a smile at her daughter's ability to pretend nothing was going on when clearly it had been for several weeks.

"Where is she?"

"Upstairs gettin' changed." Lou gave his arm a squeeze and walked to the bottom of the stairs. "Charlie? Come down here!"

Lou rejoined Kid in the parlor, still shaking her head. "I thought he was here for Beth…"

"Seems she's the only one who knew somethin' was going on between them," Kid said a little grumpily. He didn't know how he felt about his only daughter and their older, widowed neighbor. Ben was a good, decent man but he was pushing 40 and Charlie was not yet 20 years old.

"So that's why he's been talkin' to Beth so much…" Lou mused.

Charlie skipped down the stairs to find her parents and Melanie all staring at her. Her step faltered, and she gave them a timid smile.

"Is everything all right?" she asked with a hint of trepidation in her voice.

Kid crossed his arms over his chest, unable to hide his frown. "Ben Ashmore was just here."

"He was?" A blush stole up her neck and cheeks. She glanced between the three of them, knowing full well what he had spoken to her father about. Ben had insisted he needed to get Kid's permission, even though Charlie thought it completely unnecessary. "What did you say to him?"

"I told him… that if it's what you want–" Kid didn't have an opportunity to finish his sentence as Charlie flew into his arms and gave him a crushing hug.

"Thank you, Papa!" she cried with an enormous sense of relief.

"I take it you don't mind if comes to supper tomorrow, then?" Kid choked out when it was clear that Charlie wasn't letting go.

"Not at all." She finally released him from her grip, her eyes shining.

"How long has this been goin' on?" Lou asked, but she was still more surprised than anything. She had not expected to see the excitement on her daughter's face, or the obvious happiness that Ben's request brought her. It transformed her into a true beauty.

"Not long," Charlie replied, embarrassed. "I didn't want to say anything just yet… Oh Mama, I'm so happy!"

She embraced Lou, squeezing her tightly until she laughed. Unable to hide her delight, Charlie ran to Melanie and hugged her too, before running out of the room.

"Wait, where are you goin', Charlotte?" Lou yelled after her.

"Riding!"

"I wonder where," said Lou, shaking her head. "That girl…"

The stunned look had returned to Kid's face which made his wife smile. Charlie had never acted like that when Dan Lawson was hanging around. Deep down both of them knew that perhaps this was it for their daughter.

* * *

Jamie stalked towards the creek, forgetting that he always rode everywhere. He was too angry to think straight. All he could picture in his mind was Beth and Ben together. He thought of Adam and the betrayal of his brother and stewed in his animosity towards Beth. He was still riled up when he reached the small graveyard, and was dismayed to see that she was already there.

"What, you gettin' his permission?" he snapped with thinly veiled disgust. He didn't even bother to pronounce his words properly as he had been so careful to do whenever he spoke to her.

Beth turned around, clutching her chest in fright. "Jamie, you scared me! What did you say?"

"Or maybe you just remembered that your husband is buried here."

The puzzlement on her face was replaced with a look of hurt. "Why are talking this way?"

"I know about you and Ben Ashmore," he spat, not believing her innocent act.

"What?!" She saw the anger etched in his features but laughed in spite of herself. "Ben and me?"

"He's back there talkin' to Pa, no doubt gettin' his permission. It's just the sort of thing Ben would do, you bein' his daughter-in-law."

"Or maybe for his actual daughter."

Jamie let out an exasperated breath. "What does that mean?"

"Charlie, he's here for Charlie, not me." Beth covered her mouth as she giggled.

He frowned – he had not been expecting that. "Charlie?"

"He wants to start courting her, but he wanted to talk to your father about it first."

"Ben Ashmore?! He's twice her age!"

"That doesn't mean anything. But I know he's worried about their age difference and how the family might react. Although I can't think why…" she added wryly.

Jamie ran a hand through his brown hair, slack jawed. "I thought it was you."

Beth's expression softened. She decided to ignore the accusatory way in which he'd spoken to her. "No, not me."

Jamie was surprised at the relief he felt after those simple words, not to mention how upset he'd been when he imagined her with Ben.

"Beth, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude just now."

"It's all right," she replied softly. "You thought I'd forgotten Adam?"

"No, it's just… If you went and got remarried… it wouldn't be the same if you weren't here." He looked at his feet, unable to meet her eyes. "You're supposed to stay with us. I know eventually you might…"

She took a step towards him. "Jamie, I'm not going anywhere, and neither is Hannah."

He seemed a little heartened by her words, but there still a look of uncertainty in his gaze. She laid a hand next to his cheek, barely touching his skin, forcing him to look at her. "No one could take Adam's place in my heart."

Jamie looked down again. But then he smiled, feeling foolish, but more than that he was relieved. She smiled in return, withdrawing her hand.

"So, Ben Ashmore wants to spark my little sister?" he asked after a few moments.

Beth, hands on her hips, fixed him with a determined stare. "Promise me you'll go easy on him, Charlie too. She's very fond of him, and he is of her."

"Really?"

"Really." She took his arm. "Come on, I'll walk you home. And on the way we can practice nice things to say to Charlie."

Jamie allowed himself to be led away, but before they had gone too far he squeezed her hand to reassure himself that she wasn't going anywhere. She grinned and held his arm a little tighter.


	22. Chapter 22

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 22**

By the time summer was upon them, Ben and Charlie had announced their engagement. Neither of them wanted a fuss made, but the nuptials of Kid and Lou's only daughter was never going to be a quiet affair. Charlie and Ben had had to endure a rowdy celebration where the groom-to-be was reminded that his fiancée had a father and three brothers who were very protective of her, not to mention a mother and sister-in-law who were just as fiercely devoted to her happiness.

The wedding date was set for a few months later, and in the meantime Charlie was getting a few lessons in managing a household from Beth. Her trial run taking care of things while her parents were away had been some help, but Beth reminded her she wouldn't have a housekeeper like Mrs. Greig on hand when she was married. Charlie resigned herself to the fact that she would actually have to learn how to cook properly. Unfortunately her patience ran a little thin when it came to such things.

"Your chicken's burning," Beth commented as Charlie was busy packing a picnic lunch to surprise Ben with.

"Oh, shoot!" She rescued the pan from the stove and inspected the damage. She had wanted things to be just right, but Charlie was quickly learning that that was probably an unrealistic scenario when she was in the kitchen. "Oh well, I hope he likes it a little burnt."

Beth grinned at her resignation.

"It's just as well I know as much as I do about horses, and I'm learning about cattle," Charlie continued. "Otherwise I don't know what kind of a cattleman's wife I'd make."

"You'll make a wonderful cattleman's wife. Ben thinks so," Beth replied teasingly.

"Well, he always did have good taste."

The two young women shared a smile as they packed a few final things into Charlie's hamper, including the unfortunate chicken.

"I guess we'll see if he and the other hands like my cooking. Wish me luck."

"Good luck!"

Beth waved her farewell from the porch, then sighed as she watched her drive away in the buggy. She had gotten used to Charlie being around to talk to, but now that she was often at Ben's or preparing for her wedding, Beth spent less and less time with her. She didn't know what it was going to be like not having Charlie living at the ranch anymore. The thought left her with a sense of melancholy.

She wandered back into the house, feeling at a loose end. When school started again after the summer Beth had decided she would go back to taking regular reading classes, now that Hannah was a few months older. In the meantime the long, hot days dragged on and she found herself with little to do. She took a seat in the parlor, the book in her lap unread and of no interest to her, while Lou worked on the ranch accounts at her desk. Beth sighed once more.

Lou looked up and over her reading glasses at her daughter-in-law, giving her a sympathetic smile. "Charlie left?"

"Uh huh."

"Hannah still asleep?"

"Uh huh," Beth murmured, sounding bored.

"Why don't you go for a walk?" Lou suggested.

Beth roused herself from her reverie. "Oh, Hannah will be up soon."

"I can watch her when she does."

"You're busy…"

"It's fine, I'm almost done. Besides, Hannah and I have lots of things to do today." In truth Lou was trying to teach her to say 'grandma' before the girl could manage 'grandpa' to get one over on Kid. He doted on the girl and Lou wasn't about to let him win that friendly rivalry. She was quite happy to get in some quality time with her granddaughter that afternoon.

Beth smiled, seeing right through her. So far Hannah could say 'mama' and 'Jay', and both Jamie and Jake claimed she was trying to say his name. It didn't matter that she called everyone in the house 'Jay'. Beth knew the race was on for which grandparent she'd be able to name first.

"Maybe I will take a stroll," she replied noncommittally, knowing a solitary walk wasn't going to lift her mood.

"Ethan and Jake are down at the creek," Lou said as she went back to her accounts.

Beth brightened at that – she always had fun with the boys. She got up and tossed aside her book.

"Take a hat, it's scorchin' out there," Lou called after her.

She smiled to herself, then wondered if she should wake Hannah a little early to get started on her talking lessons.

* * *

Beth could hear the boys before she saw them. She rounded the bend to the swimming hole and found them in the water, splashing away. She called out a greeting.

"Hey Beth!" yelled Ethan.

Suddenly he was lifted into the air with a roar as Jamie emerged from beneath the water and tossed him down with a mighty splash.

"My turn!" Jake demanded.

Jamie took a deep breath before he went under, and saw Beth grinning on the bank.

"Hey," he said, expelling the air in his lungs.

"Hey yourself."

"Come on, Jamie!" Jake cried, jumping on his back and locking his arms around his neck.

"All right, here we go." Jamie launched himself from the sandy bottom and threw Jake into the deeper water.

Beth peeled off her shoes and stockings and waded in up to her ankles. The cool water on her feet felt wonderful, and she envied the boys' ability to strip down to longjohn bottoms and really enjoy the water.

"You're looking a little warm there, Beth," Jamie said menacingly as he moved towards her.

"I'm quite fine, thank you very much."

"I don't know, boys, what do you think?"

"She looks kinda hot to me. Maybe she needs coolin' down?" Ethan replied mischievously.

Beth narrowed her eyes as all three brothers swam towards her. "Don't you even think about it."

"What?" asked Jamie innocently, before crying out, "Get her!"

Jake and Ethan splashed at her like mad but Jamie's long arms sent a veritable flood of water towards her, drenching her from the chest down.

"Oh!" she exclaimed as the cold water hit her, penetrating layers of clothes. Beth glared at them and tried not to crack a smile. "You little…"

"Careful, there are children present," Jamie warned her with mock solemnity.

Beth pulled off her straw hat and tossed it to one side. She waded in a little further now that she was already wet, and bent down to scoop up a handful of muddy silt from the creek bed. She aimed the mud at Jamie.

"You wouldn't," he said.

"Wouldn't I?" Beth retorted, before launching it at Jamie.

He jumped up so it didn't hit him in the face, and instead there was a resounding splat and he found his bare chest covered in silt. Beth laughed at the shocked expression he wore as the younger boys cheered.

"Right, that's it."

Jamie strode out of the water towards her which caused her to shriek and run out of the shallows. Encouraged by Jake and Ethan, he stormed after her, dripping wet, until he caught her. Jamie enclosed his arms tightly around her from behind and, ignoring her cries for help, carried her back towards the creek.

"Don't, Jamie!" she gasped, breathless from laughing and his grip around her waist.

He paused, his mouth at her ear, as he looked to his brothers for instructions. "What do you think, boys?"

"Throw her in!" was their unanimous response.

"Whatever you say!" With a resigned shrug he tossed Beth into the water.

She emerged after only a moment under water, her neatly done hair dripping and falling out of its clasps. She spluttered and wiped at her eyes, trying to find a foothold on the muddy bottom. The look of horror on her face stopped Jamie in his tracks. He feared he had gone too far. It was something he would have done – had done several times – to Charlie growing up, but Beth was not a tomboy like his sister. Beth had always been a good sport when it came to playing with the boys, but he _had_ just thrown her fully clothed into the creek. He opened his mouth to apologize but was caught off guard when she suddenly launched herself at him, using all her weight to dunk him under the water. Jake and Ethan helped for good measure. Jamie struggled to the surface, the air escaping his lungs as he gasped for air and let out a bellowing laugh.

Beth, glowering from embarrassment at being wet but well pleased she had gotten him back, splashed water in his face as she headed for shore. But Jamie wasn't about to let her get away. He got hold of her waist again and was about to pitch her into the water when she turned in his arms to push him off, their faces only an inch apart. She was panting heavily from laughing so hard, as was he, their breathing quickly falling into unison. He found himself entranced by the droplets of water in her eyelashes and the striking blue of her eyes, before he suddenly pulled back from her. Beth watched as a strange look crossed his face and he stepped away even further.

"I win?" she asked cockily.

Jamie held up his hands in defeat. "You win."

She grinned and shook her head at him, then struggled towards the bank in her sodden clothes. Jamie let himself fall back to the water, and was immediately set upon by Ethan and Jake.

* * *

After ten minutes or so, Jamie joined her on the grassy bank where she had spread herself out in order to dry off. He retrieved his shirt from their pile of clothes and pulled it on even though he was still dripping wet. He flopped down beside her and they watched the boys continue to play in the water.

"Sorry, I hope I didn't offend you," he said, glancing at her through one eye, the other closed against the bright sun.

"I suppose I forgive you," she replied after a moment's pause. "But my dress may never be the same again."

She picked up the pale blue skirt she wore, still heavy with water.

"That's a shame too. I like you in that color," he commented lightly.

"You do, do you?" she asked in an amused tone.

Jamie grinned as he looked out to the water but it was the truth. Beth had only recently taken to wearing colors other than black and he was glad to see her out of the dour mourning dresses that made her skin look sallow.

Beth thought his comments sarcastic so she just ignored him. She raised her face to the sun, knowing she should retrieve her hat so she didn't freckle, but at that moment she was just happy to feel its warmth. She couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard, and she liked the feeling it left her with. Beth closed her eyes and smiled, lost in thought. When she opened them again she looked over to find Jamie staring at her, but he quickly glanced away.

"What is it?" she asked curiously.

"Nothin'." Now he looked anywhere else but in her direction.

Beth said nothing more as well, returning her gaze to Ethan and Jake. They sat in silence for several minutes.

"I love it down here," she murmured contentedly. "It's such a beautiful spot."

"Me too. We spent most of our summers down here. Just Adam and me, at first. Teaspoon used to bring us fishing here all the time."

"He told me."

Jamie checked to see if the memory of Adam had upset her, but Beth was still smiling. He looked away again, then indicated with his head at a clearing near the creek.

"I was thinking about building a cabin down here, right in that spot. A place of my own."

"Really?" Beth immediately felt guilty – she had taken over his bedroom at the ranch house, and Jamie was still sleeping in the bunkhouse. "I can always move back downstairs…"

"No, it's not that… I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's about time I had a home of my own."

Suddenly realization dawned on her. "Oh, I see."

"What?" Jamie asked, noting her softer tone.

"How is Sally? I haven't seen her around for a couple of weeks."

Jamie shifted on the ground. "She's fine. Busy with the store, I guess," he said dismissively.

Beth knew he was withholding something, but she said no more, waiting for him to talk. She had learned that was the best way to get Jamie to say what was on his mind.

He played absently with the longs blades of grass at his side. "She's been talking about going to St. Joe for a year to get her teaching license."

"Oh. I knew she was interested in becoming a teacher, but I thought…"

"Well, now she's thinking maybe she shouldn't go," he continued quickly. "She thinks we should get married instead."

Beth didn't answer immediately, steadfastly watching the boys. "Is that what you want?" she asked eventually, even quieter than before.

Jamie shrugged. "I don't know. I like things the way they are."

"Things will always change, you know. They're supposed to."

"I guess."

A small crease appeared on Beth's forehead. She and Jamie had never really discussed his relationship with Sally. He spoke very little of her to anyone, even though everyone knew they were together. Beth just figured he was intensely private about his feelings for her, which she could understand, but that didn't make her any less curious. Especially since she and Jamie could and did talk about everything else. She was as close to him as she was with Charlie, perhaps even closer since Hannah's birth. Beth didn't understand why talking about Sally was so difficult for either of them.

"Do you love her?" she asked boldly, surprising herself as well as Jamie.

He looked down, wondering how to answer. He figured it should be easy to say one way or the other way, but suddenly it wasn't.

"Jamie! Are you comin' back in, or what?" Jake yelled from the water.

Beth was still waiting for an answer, her unreadable gaze turned on him. Jamie swallowed hard and gave her a 'what can I do?' look before getting up and running back to the creek's edge. He peeled off his shirt and jumped into the water without looking back.


	23. Chapter 23

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 23**

During the next few weeks Jamie saw little of his family. He volunteered to take care of all the deliveries of horses that had been sold, and new stock to be collected, which were jobs usually shared between the ranch hands. He told no one of his reason for spending so much time away, leaving Beth wondering why he had barely spoken to her since their afternoon at the creek. She decided he was embarrassed about her questioning him over Sally, and figured the increased amount of time he spent away from the ranch included time in town. Beth suspected that Sally was going to get her wish after all, and that another engagement would soon be announced.

Beth was happy for him. At least, that's what she told herself when the notion of Jamie also getting married suddenly made her feel left out and a little despondent. She knew it was silly, that Charlie and Jamie getting married to their respective loved ones was a cause for celebration, but she couldn't help but feel envious. Somehow she knew that, with Adam gone, she would never again go through what Charlie was experiencing, what Sally would no doubt soon be going through once Jamie settled things between them. As much as Beth hated herself for thinking it, part of her would have happily seen things stay the same, as Jamie had said he wanted.

He had only been home for a couple of days, just in time for Hannah's first birthday, when Charlie came back from town and found Lou and Beth in the kitchen. Her mother was putting the finishing touches to Hannah's cake for the party that night and Beth was feeding the birthday girl stewed apples.

"Jay!" Hannah gurgled around her mouth full of food when she saw her aunt.

"Hey yourself, baby girl," Charlie replied absently as she allowed the parcels in her arms to spill onto the table. She sat down at the table with a huff, pulling her bonnet from her head. "Guess what I found out."

"Did you get the ribbon for Hannah's dress?" Beth asked as she offered her daughter another spoonful of apples.

"Yes, it's here somewhere. Guess what I found out."

"What?" Lou said absently, sampling a little of the frosting she'd been applying to the cake.

Neither woman appeared terribly interested in Charlie's news which frustrated her. But it was too important not to share.

"When I went to the store Mrs. Johnson served me. She was short with me and when I asked if everything was all right she said Sally's leaving for St. Joe tomorrow so she can get her teaching license."

Lou looked up in surprise. "St. Joe? Since when?"

"She just announced it, apparently."

"That's very sudden. Has somethin' happened with Jamie?"

"I don't know, he hardly ever talks about her. Not to me at least." Charlie looked over to Beth who hadn't said anything. "Did you know she was planning this?"

Beth shrugged slightly, unsure how to answer. Guilt burned within her, as if her wishing Jamie and Sally wouldn't get engaged had somehow made it so. "I- I think Sally had been thinking about teaching for a while now."

"But why the rush?"

"If she's goin' tomorrow I guess that means she's probably not comin' tonight. We won't get a chance to say goodbye," Lou commented, disappointed at this turn of events. She'd been hoping that Jamie was going to settle down after courting Sally for over a year.

"Do you think Jamie even knows?" asked Charlie.

"Must do, he was in town just this mornin'."

"He didn't mention it to me. What about you, Beth?"

"Hmm?" Beth hadn't been listening, but she rallied quickly. "Oh, no. Not to me."

Lou sighed. "Well, I guess he'll tell us what happened when he's ready."

She went back to icing the cake and Charlie slowly gathered up her parcels. She placed the smallest one in front of Beth, who was staring into space.

"Here's your ribbon." When Beth didn't answer Charlie looked up at her mother and saw that Beth's behavior had caught her attention too. Within few moments she sensed their eyes on her and shook her head.

"Sorry, I was miles away. Thank you, Charlie."

Her sister-in-law was puzzled but she went ahead and left the room so she could sort through her purchases. Lou was still watching Beth and she felt her cheeks growing pink.

"Are you all right?" Lou asked gently.

"Fine, I'm just thinking about the party, and how Sally was supposed to be coming tonight."

"Don't worry about Jamie. I'm sure everythin's fine. He would have said otherwise," Lou said more to reassure herself than Beth. "Just because she's goin' away for a year doesn't mean the worst."

"I hope you're right." Beth tried to smile and forced herself to concentrate on feeding Hannah.

* * *

Sally Johnson did not appear that night at Hannah's first birthday party, but no one commented on her absence. Everyone was focused on the one-year-old, especially Jamie whose behavior did not indicate anything was upsetting him. Lou decided to wait until he was ready to talk about things before questioning him about Sally. In the meantime the family, including Ben, celebrated Hannah's birthday.

When it was time for her to go to bed it was Jamie who volunteered to put her down. Talk had turned to Ben and Charlie's upcoming wedding so neither Beth or Lou were surprised that he was suddenly keen to leave the room, despite Beth's protests that she would take care of her daughter. Jamie wouldn't hear of it and took Hannah upstairs to ready her for bed.

As Charlie spoke about the wedding plans Beth paid little attention. Luckily no one noticed that she was not joining in, and when Jamie hadn't returned to the parlor in fifteen minutes, she slipped from the room to make sure everything was all right with Hannah. She stole up the stairs quietly and paused at her bedroom door. Jamie was holding a freshly changed Hannah in his arms, talking to her as he rocked her gently, his soft, low voice lulling her to sleep. Hannah's fingers were playing with the collar of his shirt but her eyes were drowsy and her blond head was growing heavy as she struggled to stay awake.

"Then your papa and I built a treehouse in the biggest tree we could find so your Aunt Charlie couldn't climb it. But that made her sad so your papa built her a little one of her own closer to the ground so she wouldn't feel left out."

Hannah looked up sleepily at her uncle, and Jamie nodded at her.

"That's the kind of thing your papa did all the time. He was a good brother like that." He shifted Hannah in his arms and she snuggled into his neck, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "You need to go to sleep, baby girl. Our big one-year-old girl."

Beth stayed in the shadows outside the room, not wanting to disturb the scene before her. Jamie had always been a natural with Hannah, but she had never watched them together like this. A strange but wonderful feeling swelled within her. She didn't know if it was pride or contentment or trust, or some combination of other sensations that made her throat feel full, rendering her mute. A dreamy calmness descended upon her, and she forgot everything else but the sight of her daughter in Jamie's arms.

After a couple more minutes of rocking her to sleep, he kissed Hannah's cheek, gently lowered her into her cradle and tucked her in. He didn't hear Beth until she was by his side. He glanced at her but she was looking down and smiling at Hannah, focusing only on her.

"Hey," he whispered. "She's asleep."

"She loves hearing stories," Beth said lovingly as she smoothed back the soft, blond curls from her daughter's forehead.

"You heard that?"

Beth straightened up and turned her warm, serene eyes on him, nodding.

"Oh." Jamie smiled, a little embarrassed.

"I'm glad you're telling her about Adam. I want her to know all about him."

"That I can do."

They watched Hannah for a few more minutes in contented silence. Beth looked up at Jamie for any sign that he was upset about Sally, but despite the fact he had been uncharacteristically quiet that evening, he didn't show any signs of having lost her. She wanted to ask what had happened, but wasn't sure if he would welcome the intrusion.

"You can go ahead and ask. I know you want to," he said.

Beth opened her mouth to protest, then shut it again because he knew what she was thinking.

"Sally's leaving town tomorrow?" she ventured.

"Yep."

"When did she decide that?"

"Couple days ago."

Beth bit her lip. "Are you all right?"

Jamie let out a long breath. "I guess I'm not surprised."

"That's not the same thing." Beth placed a hand on his arm and turned him to face her. "What about when she comes back?"

"I don't know if she is coming back. At least, she won't be coming back to me."

Beth felt a small flutter of relief, but it was quickly replaced with a more painful pang of remorse. The only consolation was the complete lack of emotion that appeared on Jamie's face and in his voice.

"I don't understand," she replied. "Why aren't you and Sally getting married?"

A brief smile flashed on Jamie's mouth but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. He thought about how to answer her, and once again found himself unable to explain something that should have been straight forward.

"At the creek that day, you asked me if I loved her," he offered quietly.

"And you didn't answer me," Beth reminded him.

Jamie looked down at her hand which was still on his arm, then, sighing softly, he raised his deep blue eyes to hers.

"Yes, I did," he said simply.

Incomprehension clouded Beth's features but after a few moments, during which Jamie's impenetrable gaze did not leave her face, she felt the warmth rising from her neck to her cheeks. Whatever guilt she'd been feeling over not wanting him to announce his engagement was suddenly compounded as an entirely new and terrifying thought entered her mind. In that panicked instant she could not look at him, and quickly dropped her hand to her side.

"Don't," he murmured. He took her hand in his, willing her to look up at him again.

When she did he felt his breath leave him. She tried to speak but when nothing would come she closed her mouth again and stared at him with a pleading gaze. Pleading for him to do what, he couldn't tell, and did not have an opportunity to ask as they both heard footsteps in the hall. Beth snatched her hand away before Lou appeared at the bedroom door.

"Is everythin' all right? Hannah asleep?"

Beth's expression changed immediately, and she smiled at Lou as if nothing had happened.

"She's fine, she's fast asleep. We were just coming back down."

"Good, because I think Charlie wants to talk to you both about your duties for the weddin'."

Beth walked quickly over to Lou without so much as glancing at Jamie.

"Come on, you too, best man," Lou instructed, reaching out a hand for her son.

Beth didn't wait for them as she strode ahead down the stairs and into the parlor. Charlie was dominating the conversation as she was wont to do when the subject was her wedding. Beth slipped into her seat and immediately joined in, talking more brightly than before. But it was all for show. She was careful not to look at Jamie for the remainder of the night, and was relieved that he appeared to be avoiding eye contact with her too.


	24. Chapter 24

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 24**

After Sally left town, Jamie's absences from the ranch were even more pronounced. Everyone assumed he needed the time to get over her, and gave him the space he desired. He had even taken to sleeping away at night, taking a bedroll down to the creek and camping out in the spot he was planning to build his house on. This upset Lou more than anything, believing her son to be pining for Sally and regretting not asking her to marry him as everyone expected. But Jamie was stoically silent on that point, and made it quite clear to the family that he didn't wish to discuss Sally Johnson.

Beth was relieved that she saw little of Jamie in the weeks that followed. She had all but convinced herself that she was misremembering the look in his eyes in her bedroom, or the words, so far unspoken, that scared her with their ability to change everything between them. Beth decided she was mistaken about Jamie and that her less than charitable thoughts about he and Sally were just confusing her, leaving her feeling guilty and foolish. Besides, she reasoned, if it were anything else Jamie would have subsequently spoken to her. But, on the few occasions he did share a meal with the family or stopped at the ranch long enough to play with Hannah, he acted as if nothing had happened. He was as polite as he had always been with her, if distant and impersonal. The one time he had come upon her alone in the kitchen, he had immediately walked out of the room to avoid any awkwardness. She had been grateful at the time, but since then had grown saddened by the fear that their relationship would never be the same again.

How he would act at the church social that evening concerned her, as she readied herself for the dance. She had almost begged off going at all, having avoided most social occasions in the past year as a proper widow should. But it was the last dance before Charlie's wedding and her sister-in-law had been quite adamant that everyone would be going. If nothing else they needed the dancing practice, Charlie reasoned, when Beth had hesitated in accepting.

"You and Jamie make sure you get in plenty of dancing tonight," she instructed, walking into Beth's room without knocking.

Beth glanced up from her dresser where she was fixing her hair. "What do you mean?" she replied defensively.

"Pa was supposed to be Ben's best man, but he's got to give me away. Which means Jamie's the next in line and you've got to dance with him," Charlie explained patiently, looking over Beth's shoulder into the mirror and straightened the ribbon in her own hair. "So, tonight's the perfect opportunity to practice."

"I know how to dance, Charlie," Beth said darkly.

"Good." Charlie flashed her a nervous smile, oblivious to Beth's mood. "How do I look?"

"You look beautiful. Why are you so worried?"

"Those cats are going to be out tonight, all talking about Ben and me," said Charlie grimly. "Yesterday Ruth O'Connor asked me how my old man was."

"Ben's not old."

"I know that."

Beth stood up and gathered her shawl from the bed. "Ignore them, they're just jealous."

"I know that too." Charlie didn't sound very convinced. "I just want everything to go smoothly. I want the wedding to hurry and happen so we can start our life together."

"Everything will be fine, Charlie. You'll see." She smiled to reassure her. "You've planned it to within an inch of its life, nothing's going to go wrong."

"Hope you're right."

"Come on, let's go."

Beth checked on Hannah who was staying at home with Mrs. Greig, then they met everyone else in the yard and began piling into the wagon for the trip to town. Ben took Charlie ahead in his own wagon as Ethan and Jake scrambled into theirs. Beth was about to climb after them when Jamie wordlessly appeared at her side and helped her up. She was about to thank him when he walked away without giving her a second glance. She wasn't sure what was worse, Jamie ignoring her completely or the cool way he treated now, not bothering to even look her in the eye. Beth's cheeks burned a little as she sat next to a chattering Jake.

The church was brightly lit and music already emanated from its open doors and windows when they arrived in town. The dance had attracted a crowd that night, and Beth could see Charlie nervously grip Ben's arm as they stood waiting for the family to join them. They had not been to a dance or similar event since they'd gotten engaged and it was obviously weighing on Charlie's mind. Never one to pay much attention to what her old classmates thought of her, she nonetheless feared their scorn and disapproval. Her choice of husband had raised a few eyebrows in town, when the prevailing thought was she could have had Dan Lawson if she'd bothered to be a little nicer to him.

"You'll be fine. Just smile and be polite," Beth whispered to her as they entered the church.

Charlie threw her a despairing glance before planting a smile on her face and sweeping inside on Ben's arm. After they had been greeted by their friends and other townsfolk Beth took a seat with Lou and Melanie and watched as Charlie and Ben were surrounded by people offering their congratulations. She was pleased to see that, after her initial nervousness, Charlie actually appeared to be enjoying herself. No one could mistake the look of pride and love in Ben's eyes as he looked at his fiancée, which was reflected in Charlie's visage. Beth knew she wouldn't have to worry about them anymore.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Jamie, no longer spoken for, attracted the attentions of many of the young women. It reminded Beth of a dance not so long ago when she and Adam had laughed about his popularity with the ladies. This time she did not laugh. Jamie danced with girl after girl, not asking her to partner him all evening. She knew she shouldn't mind but every now and again he would glance at her, as if checking to see if she was watching him enjoy herself. She felt herself growing annoyed even if she couldn't explain why. As it was she had plenty of time to sit and watch everyone else as none of the other men asked her to dance. She knew she could have worn something else other than a mourning gown, but the jet black dress had matched her mood and it was the perfect deterrent for them to leave her alone. As it was only Kid insisted she join him on the dance floor.

They finished a reel, leaving Beth breathless and realizing she was out of practice when it came to dancing. They had ended up on the other side of the hall, and Beth saw Jamie and a young woman next to them.

"I'm afraid that's it for me," Kid puffed, when the next dance was announced.

"Me too," Beth replied, steadfastly refusing to look at Jamie.

"Don't be silly. Jamie," he said, tugging at his son's sleeve. "Dance with Beth."

"Really, I don't-" Beth stuttered. "Jamie's obviously otherwise engaged."

"I'm sure April won't mind," Kid said jovially. "Will she, son?"

"Well, I–" muttered Jamie, but his father wasn't listening.

"You two are supposed to be practicing!" said Charlie as she danced past in Ben's arms.

"You heard the boss." Kid clapped his hand on Jamie's shoulder then disappeared among the dancers, crossing the room to rejoin Lou.

Jamie said something in the ear of the young woman which caused her to giggle and walk away. Then he stood by Beth's side, making no move towards the dance floor. Instead they watched the others for a while, Beth with a forced smile on her face that she knew must have looked inane.

"So, are we going to do this, or what?" Jamie eventually blurted out rudely. He still had not looked at her.

Beth's smile hardened at his tone. "Such a charming invitation, James," she replied coldly, not bothering to look at him either. "Is that how you entice all of these poor girls to dance with you?"

"Suit yourself."

Before she knew it he had stalked off towards the refreshments table where he spoke with a different girl. Within moments he had swept her onto the dance floor. The frozen smile Beth been wearing faded as she suddenly, inexplicably, felt tears prick her eyes. She stood alone, feeling ridiculous, as couples danced past her. She felt as if all eyes were on her, pitying her, even though few noticed her slip through the crowd towards the door.

Once outside where the air was a little cooler, Beth breathed deeply as she made her way quickly to the back of the church, away from the men who had congregated outside to talk and smoke. She pulled her shawl around her shoulders, angry at herself for feeling the way she was. She knew it was stupid to envy the couples inside, and yet, as much as she had gotten used to being without Adam, she had not felt so lonely in a long while. More than that, however, was her annoyance at Jamie and his behavior. After ignoring her for weeks he was now being openly rude to her. That was too much for Beth, anger simmering within her.

It was unfortunate, then, that Jamie chose that moment to follow her outside, having watched her leave. If he had waited she would have calmed down enough to be civil with him, but he had not.

"Beth," he called after her, not meaning for it to come out as harshly as it did.

She turned around to face him, clearly not happy. "What are you doing out here? You shouldn't keep what's-her-name waiting."

"I'm sorry about what just happened. It was rude of me."

"I don't think you're sorry at all," she replied spitefully.

He hesitated before placing his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off as if it burned.

"Leave me alone."

"You're angry at me?" he snorted incredulously. The idea made him want to laugh.

"No, I quite enjoy being publicly snubbed," she replied sarcastically. "And watching you dance with every other girl in town as you went out of your way to avoid asking me."

Jamie let out a frustrated breath. "Well, that's just great. What is it you want from me? 'Cause I can't figure it out."

"What are you talking about?"

"I get too close, you push me away. I stay away, and you're mad at me."

She frowned, feeling defensive. "I don't understand."

"That much is obvious."

"Jamie…"

"You've barely looked at me since Hannah's birthday," he countered, clearly annoyed. "I get it, okay? So I stayed away, just like I did before. That's the only way I know how to deal with this."

Beth shook her head, denying what he was saying, pretending she didn't comprehend his words. She looked away across the black expanse of prairie behind the church.

"Fine, ignore me. But don't get angry at me if I do the same to you," he finished darkly before starting to walk away from her.

She wanted to let him go, knew she should just let him leave, but before he had gotten away more than a few steps she couldn't help herself from crying out, "Why are you doing this?"

Jamie stopped in his tracks. "God, I'm trying not to, don't you realize that?!" he snapped, rounding on her. "Do you think I want this? Do you think I asked for it?"

"I don't understand," she repeated pitifully, her head bowed.

"Of course you don't… which makes it so much easier for you, doesn't it?" he muttered bitterly.

She raised her eyes to him in response to the anger and hint of hatred in his voice. They were wide and scared, with the same pleading look she had given him in her bedroom. He felt the fury within him drain in an instant, replaced by regret for causing her to feel such distress. Whatever anger he felt now was towards himself, because every fiber of his being knew he was wrong to be thinking and feeling everything he was when it came to Beth. But he couldn't stop it. Not when she was looking at him the way she was, her face full of unspoken questions.

"Jamie, please…" she began mournfully, but she couldn't finish.

Before she knew what was happening, before he could stop himself, he stepped forward and kissed her. It was not a brotherly peck. His hand was at the back of her head, fingers entwined in her hair, capturing her lips firmly against his. She grew dizzy but he didn't stop and Beth suddenly found herself not wanting him to. Then, just as she was losing herself, he released her but did not pull away very far. She could felt his hot breath against her lips.

"That's why I didn't ask you to dance," he murmured, breathing hard.

Beth frowned, her eyes filling with tears as she gripped the front of his shirt tightly. She tried not to look into his eyes but she couldn't stop. They were full of emotion so raw and confronting that she didn't know how to react. She had never felt so confused before, nor the swirling sensations that were fighting within her.

"What do you think you're doing?" gasped a shocked voice.

They broke apart instantly and saw Charlie standing a few feet away, aghast. Beth pulled further away from Jamie, and looked away, mortified.

"How could you do this?" Charlie went on, the disgust evident in her voice.

Beth turned back to her sister-in-law, expecting to see Charlie's accusing gaze aimed squarely at her. But instead she was staring at her brother with barely disguised anger.

"Your own brother's wife?" she snapped, shaking her head. Charlie didn't wait for a response, turning on her heel and heading back inside.

"Charlie!" Jamie called after her. "Damn it, wait."

He ran after her, leaving Beth standing alone in the church yard.


	25. Chapter 25

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 25**

Three days later Lou and Beth were making the final alterations to Charlie's wedding gown. The dress, which had once been Lou's, had been meticulously modified by Beth to fit Charlie's slightly larger frame until it was perfect. All that was left was the hem which had to be lowered.

"Charlie, for the last time will you stand still?" Lou sighed in exasperation as she and Beth pinned the bottom of the wedding gown. "If you don't this will be all crooked."

Charlie stamped her feet in frustration and to keep the blood circulating. As excited as she was to be wearing her mother's wedding dress the fittings and alterations were trying her patience.

"I'm finished," Beth said from the opposite side of the dress Lou was working on.

Charlie glanced down at her with a measure of distrust, peering to make sure she had done the pinning properly.

"Charlie! Stand still!" Lou commanded.

"Mama, please…"

"Right, I'm finished too. Was that so hard?"

"Honestly? Yes."

"Oh, hush up." Lou stood back and admired the gown on her daughter. "You look beautiful."

Charlie beamed proudly. She had always loved her mother's dress, and couldn't believe she was actually going to wear it for her own wedding.

"Don't you think so, Beth?" Lou gushed, feeling a little overwhelmed with emotion.

Beth glanced up from her sewing basket and forced a smile on her face to replace the worry and despondency she felt. "Very beautiful."

Lou's small hands covered her mouth as she smiled, but then she got back to business. "Right, go on upstairs and change. Ben will be here for supper soon. Beth, can you help her so she doesn't tear anything?"

"I don't need any help," Charlie said automatically, stopping Beth from following her. She stomped up the stairs alone.

"That girl." Lou shook her head. "The sooner she gets over these weddin' nerves the better."

"Are you sure that's it?" Beth asked quietly, wondering if Charlie had said anything to her mother about what she'd seen at the dance. So far Lou had treated her no differently, but Beth couldn't be sure.

"Of course. I was exactly the same. I made everyone's life a misery right before my weddin', especially Kid's."

"I didn't have a chance to be nervous. Adam was so busy with his final examinations and Grandfather– " Beth stopped herself, frowning.

Lou gave her a sympathetic look, knowing it must be hard for her to participate in Charlie's wedding and all the preparations. "Yours was a lovely weddin'."

Beth smiled sadly at the remembrance. "Yes, it was. It seems like such a long time ago."

She busied herself with packing up the rest of her pins, thinking about how best to talk to Lou about what was on her mind. It seemed like a perfect opportunity so she forced herself to speak before she lost her courage.

"I've been thinking about that time quite a bit lately… the last time I was in St. Louis. I was thinking about how Hannah hasn't met my brother or my grandfather, and that maybe it's time I went home... for a visit."

Lou stilled her hands which had been gathering up her own sewing basket. "Oh?" she replied noncommittally.

"Rudy sent me a letter last week. You know Claire, my sister-in-law, is having her first baby soon. It sounds like she needs an extra pair of hands and I thought it would be a perfect time for them to meet Hannah. I could help out when the baby comes."

Lou knew she should not have been surprised, that Beth wanting to go home for a visit was perfectly natural. But she felt an immediate pang of sadness when she thought about Hannah not being at the ranch for any length of time, Beth too. They were part of the family.

"When do you think you might go?"

"Not until after the wedding, of course," Beth replied quickly. "But once Ben and Charlie are married…"

"'Once Charlie and Ben are married' what?" Charlie asked as she reentered the room, still wearing the wedding gown. The buttons that ran down the back of the dress had proved difficult to undo by herself.

"Here, let me help you with those," Beth said instead, moving towards Charlie.

She took a step back, fixing her with an unwavering stare. "What are you two talking about?"

Beth hesitated a moment before answering. "I was just telling your mother that I'm going home to St. Louis. To visit my family."

"For how long?" Charlie demanded, throwing Lou a worried glance.

"I'm not sure."

"It's an awful long train ride with a baby," Lou mused.

"We'll be fine."

"Maybe you'd be better off goin' when Hannah's a little older."

"This is something I need to do now," Beth said quietly, but with a level of determination that made Lou's heart sink. "Come on, Charlie, I'll help you with the dress."

Charlie followed her silently from the room. Once they had reached Charlie's bedroom Beth made light work of the buttons and carefully laid the dress out on the bed while Charlie dressed quickly into a blouse and skirt. Beth had been receiving the silent treatment from her sister-in-law since the dance and was quite happy to avoid talking to her about what happened. She was grateful that Charlie had not told anyone else, even if she was making Jamie's life a misery and Lou was sure to ask some time about what was bothering her so much.

Beth avoided her gaze as she smoothed the dress and went to leave. Charlie's hand on her arm stopped her.

"Are you really going away?" she asked softly and with none of the venom Beth was expecting.

"I'm just going home for a visit," Beth replied, but she couldn't look Charlie in the eye.

"Is this because of me? I was just shocked is all…"

"Charlie, this has nothing to do with you, honestly," Beth stated firmly.

Charlie didn't seem to believe her. "It's Jamie I'm mad at, he never should have done that."

Beth turned away quickly. "Please, I don't want to talk about it."

"It doesn't mean you have to go away. He's left you alone since then, hasn't he? He's stayed away."

"It's not that simple."

"But you and Hannah belong here. Especially now…" Charlie paused as a hint of uncertainty entered her voice. "Who am I supposed to talk to you about everything? Who's going to help me so I don't make a fool of myself?"

Beth turned back to face her, blinking away the tears in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I'm getting married in a week."

"Oh." Beth's face softened as she took a deep breath. "I thought your mother would have spoken to you about that."

"We've had _that_ conversation," Charlie said. "But everything else, running my own house, taking care of Ben… Not living here any more. It's not that I don't love Ben, I do… It's just… I'm used to being here. I won't see everyone every day."

Beth smiled affectionately as she took Charlie's hands in hers. "The family will be right here if you need anything. There's no need to be afraid."

"But you won't be here!" Charlie said urgently, gripping Beth's hands as she struggled with her words. "You're supposed to be here..."

Beth hugged her sister-in-law. "Charlotte, you are strong and brave and you will make a wonderful wife. You don't need me."

Charlie hugged her back tightly, refusing to let go. "I'm sorry I was mean."

Beth stepped back, cradling her face in her hands as a tear slipped down Charlie's cheek. "This isn't your fault. But this is what I have to do, do you understand?"

Charlie nodded pitifully. Beth wiped her cheek and then left the room before she broke down herself.

* * *

It did not take long for the others to find out about Beth's plans. Ethan and Jake were vocal in their disappointment that she was leaving, but Lou stopped their loud protests before Beth heard them. She was determined to support Beth in her decision, even if she disagreed with it herself. Lou had not forgotten that Beth had stayed in Sweetwater after Adam's death, isolating herself from her own family. It was only natural she wanted to see them, and wanted them to know Hannah. What concerned her most was the open-endedness of the visit – Beth had not yet told them when she would be back.

Beth was grateful that there were no further confrontations about her plans. No one was happy about it but they seemed to understand. She had even started packing her trunk the next day when her bedroom door flew open and Jamie strode into the room. Beth dropped the clothes she was holding.

"What are you doing in here? Get out!" she hissed, afraid to raise her voice further with Lou downstairs.

She had not seen or spoken to Jamie since the dance. He had been avoiding her, and Charlie, after his sister had berated him for a good deal of time over what she had witnessed. He didn't know what else to do but stay away, too afraid of how Beth might react to his admission of his true feelings, even if the words were still unspoken. But now that his mother had told him what she was planning, he found it difficult to stay quiet.

"Is it true?" Jamie snapped, clearly upset. He looked at the open trunk and his expression darkened further.

Beth turned away and closed the lid, as good an excuse as any to avoid looking at him.

"Are you leaving?" Jamie persisted, stepping closer.

"I'm going home to visit my family."

"You can't do that."

Anger burned within her and she whirled around to face him. "You don't get to decide that."

Jamie sighed in frustration, regretting his choice of words. "What I mean is, you don't have to."

"Yes, I do." Beth moved over to the dresser to sort through more clothes.

Jamie stood in the middle of the room, quickly losing any sense of rational reasoning to convince her to stay.

"If it's about what happened the other night…"

Beth slammed the dresser drawer shut, cutting him off.

"Beth, I'm sorry… It was my fault, I never should have kissed you."

"Don't!" she snapped, lowering her own voice in the hopes he would too. She never wanted Lou and Kid and the boys to find out.

Jamie let out an exasperated breath. "I said I was sorry! It won't happen again."

"No it won't, because I'll be in St. Louis," she said coldly.

It felt like a slap. Jamie swallowed hard, forcing deep down the despair he felt at her words. "When are you coming back?" he asked quietly.

She held a few garments against her chest, realizing they were dresses of Hannah's. Beth knew it was not just her leaving that upset them, all of them would miss her daughter, especially Jamie.

"I haven't decided yet," she replied.

"You are coming back, aren't you?"

Jamie's soulful gaze burned into hers, as if he somehow knew her thoughts. She hated that he could do that, how he could make her feel helpless and uncertain, when she knew what she had to do.

"I don't know," she whispered, lowering her eyes to avoid the look of betrayal that had appeared in his.

She expected him to argue with her, to retort angrily that she didn't need to stay away because he didn't care about her at all, that everything had been a huge mistake. But instead he ducked his head in apparent defeat, and left the room without another word to her. Beth jumped slightly when the door clicked firmly shut, leaving her feeling as empty as the room. She covered her face with her hands as she sobbed.


	26. Chapter 26

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 26**

The days leading up to Charlie's wedding were busy ones at the ranch. Rachel arrived from Denver, and to Lou's great contentment was planning to stay for an extended visit. She was there when Lou presented Charlie with the cameo earrings the former station mistress had given her before her own wedding. Having no children of her own, Rachel was more than happy for them to be passed onto Charlie, and all three women shed a few tears when she tried them on.

While everyone else focused on the wedding, Beth quietly packed her things and prepared for her trip to St. Louis with Hannah. Jamie had ignored her since their conversation in her bedroom, and she knew he was punishing her for leaving. Suddenly the trip home couldn't arrive soon enough for Beth.

The night before the wedding, she knocked quietly on Charlie's bedroom door then poked her head inside.

"Not asleep yet, are you?"

"Hardly," Charlie replied ruefully. She had been pacing the floor, sleep the furthest thing from her mind.

"Thought not." Beth slipped inside, a wrapped package behind her back. She presented it to Charlie. "Here, I wanted to give you this. It's not your real wedding present, just something I made for you."

Charlie grinned as she unceremoniously ripped apart the brown paper. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw the soft cotton nightgown inside, with a daintily stitched yoke that she knew must have taken Beth weeks to do.

"Beth, it's beautiful… Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it." Beth perched on the end of Charlie's bed as she held the nightdress up against herself and admired it in the mirror.

"Don't see as I'll get any use for it tonight… I'll never be able to sleep."

Beth smiled knowingly. "Nervous?"

"No, excited, I guess." Charlie sat down next to her.

"I remember what that's like. Not long to go now."

"What about you?" Charlie asked tentatively. "You're leaving for St. Louis in a couple of days."

"I suppose I'm excited." Beth bobbed her head. "I'm looking forward to seeing my family, my friends. That doesn't mean I won't miss you all though."

"You won't stay away long, will you?"

Beth sighed as she stood up and moved away from the bed. "I don't know, Charlie. It's complicated…"

"No, it's not. I know there's nothing going on between you and Jamie. It was just that one night, and I haven't told anyone."

"Charlie…"

"He's bringing April Ramsay to the wedding, you know," she said abruptly.

"He is?" Beth looked away, momentarily stunned. "I didn't know that."

Charlie got up in order to look Beth squarely in the face. "He's not going to bother you anymore. So there's no need for you to stay away. All right?"

"All right," Beth acquiesced, but did not elaborate further.

"Good."

Beth forced herself to smile and took Charlie's hand. "You know, you should really try and get some sleep. If nothing else, it will make tomorrow get here sooner."

"I'll try."

Beth moved to leave but was stopped when Charlie gave her a brief hug.

"Thank you for the nightgown, Beth."

She pecked Charlie's cheek then left quickly.

* * *

The next day the wedding went off without a hitch, and Charlie became Charlotte Ashmore. Ben's beaming smile greeted the guests at the wedding feast in town, and soon everyone was eating and dancing and celebrating the newlyweds.

Beth endured watching everyone enjoy themselves while she felt lonesome and empty inside. The ceremony had been beautiful and she couldn't have been happier for Charlie and Ben. But the cold manner with which Jamie had escorted her out of the church, and the fact he had murmured only a few polite utterances to her all day, made her realize that the sooner she left Sweetwater the better. The sight of him laughing and dancing with April Ramsay hurt her more than she wanted to admit. After a few hours she decided she couldn't bear it any longer and was determined to take Hannah home.

"You're leavin'?" Lou asked with concern when Beth appeared before her, the sleeping child in her arms. She had been having such a good time with Rachel and Melanie that she hadn't given a Beth a second thought all night. Lou realized guiltily that she had forgotten that the wedding might be difficult for her.

"I'd like to get Hannah back to the ranch, and I'm tired too," Beth explained to all three women. "I can take myself if I can borrow one of the buggies."

"Don't be silly, Jamie will take you."

"No, no. Please, I- I don't want to interrupt his evening," Beth said quickly. "He's having such a good time. You all are. I'm better driving the buggy now, I've been practicing."

"Not drivin' at night, you haven't." Lou sought out her son in the crowd and waved him over, not noticing the look of distress on her daughter-in-law's face.

Jamie wandered over, pausing only when Beth turned around he saw her with his mother. His face hardened slightly, noticed only by Beth. She looked away, resting her check on Hannah's curly head and wishing they were elsewhere.

"What's up, Ma?"

"Can you take Beth home? Hannah's already asleep."

Jamie stammered a response but Beth spoke up again.

"Honestly, Louise, I'm fine. Maybe we should just stay."

"You said yourself you're tired. Charlie won't mind," Lou replied firmly. "But I'm not lettin' you and Hannah go alone. Jamie?"

"Course," he murmured, lifting his eyes to Beth who was trying her best to avoid looking at him. "I can take them home."

Lou kissed her son's cheek and then did the same to Hannah's. "Good night."

Beth cleared her throat. "Good night."

They left the church hall in silence, Jamie trailing behind her. Beth was embarrassed and angry that she was being forced to accept assistance from the one person she wanted to avoid. When they reached the family's buggy she turned to face him.

"I don't need a chaperone," Beth said bluntly. "You don't have to come."

Jamie's lips formed into a thin line, biting back his own discomfort at their unintended proximity. "You heard what Ma said."

"I'm quite capable of looking after myself, despite what you all think."

"I never said you weren't," Jamie said with mounting annoyance. "I didn't ask for the privilege, remember."

Beth's eyes blazed. "Of course not. What about April? You must be worried she'll think you rude for leaving her alone at your sister's wedding."

"Leave April out of this."

"Why? Are you so sure of her sudden affection for you?" Beth knew she sounded bitter but she couldn't help herself. She adjusted Hannah in her arms, glad for the small buffer that her daughter placed between them.

Jamie planted his hands on his hips, sighing with frustration. "I don't care about April Ramsay."

"Then why bring her?"

"What do you care?" Jamie retorted.

"I don't," Beth said defensively.

Jamie's tone was sarcastic. "Obviously."

Beth turned away, biting back any further outbursts that threatened to make her regret even more about what was going on between them. She settled Hannah into the soft basket that had been secured in the back of the buggy and tucked her in firmly. Jamie double checked the fastenings but Beth snatched them out of his hands, pushing him away with her elbow as she took over the task.

"I'm just trying to help you like I was asked. Why won't you let me?"

"_I don't want you_," Beth muttered in a low but cutting voice. "Why don't you listen?"

Jamie glowered, masking the pain her words inflicted. He stepped away from the buggy. "I heard you just fine."

Beth lowered her eyes, ashamed. She was trying to think about what she could possibly say to make him understand how difficult this was for her, how confused he made her feel, when Ethan appeared behind his brother.

"You goin' home already, Beth?" he asked, oblivious to the emotion on both their faces.

She nodded weakly in response.

"Ethan? How do you feel about drivin' the buggy?" Jamie asked, still looking at Beth and not his little brother. "Can you see Beth and Hannah home?"

"Yeah, course I can."

"I should get back to April," Jamie said evenly.

Beth met his eyes and for once allowed him to see that his words had hurt her. Ethan scrambled up onto the driver's seat and Beth joined him in the buggy. Jamie handed him the reins.

"Take it slow," he instructed. "Be careful. And use the lantern if you lose the moonlight."

"I will, I ain't a little kid," Ethan replied with a mix of excitement and disdain in his thirteen-year-old voice.

"Go on then."

Jamie waited as Ethan geed up the horses and drove away. She was gone.


	27. Chapter 27

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 27**

He told himself he wouldn't go to the train station to see them off. He'd spent the evening before they left playing with Hannah, realizing just how much he was going to miss his niece when she was gone. Beth had kept her distance, spending her last night at the ranch talking and laughing with the rest of the family. But not with Jamie. She had barely spared him a glance all evening.

He rode out early with a delivery, promising his mother he'd be back in time, but with little intention that he would. After everything that had happened with Beth, Jamie still didn't trust himself that he could hold his tongue when she actually left. He wanted to tell her how unfair she was being, that taking Hannah away was cruel, that he didn't really care about her one way or the other so she didn't need to run away. Only the last part was a lie. Jamie was more afraid he'd tell her the truth, when he knew it was the last thing she wanted to hear.

There was no one at the ranch when he arrived home. Everyone had gone into town to say goodbye, even their housekeeper. Jamie was glad for that small favor – the last thing he wanted was to hear how they sad they all were that Beth and Hannah were gone. He wandered into the house and upstairs to his old bedroom. He wouldn't have to sleep in the bunkhouse anymore, now he had his room back. But when he entered it he realized how cold and empty it felt. What few possessions she'd left had been packed away and stored in the cellar – Beth had insisted on that. She'd wanted him to have his bedroom back with no trace to remind him that they'd been there. Jamie found that hardest to bear of all.

He flopped down on his old bed, wondering if the quilt smelled of her perfume, and was disappointed when it did not. Staring up at the bare walls, Jamie decided he preferred the lack of privacy in the bunkhouse to this solitude. He curled onto his side and hoped sleep might dull the ache he was feeling, when he felt the slip of paper under his pillow. He pulled it out quickly, his heart hammering in his chest when he recognized Beth's handwriting.

_I'm sorry for everything. Please don't hate me._

_Beth_

Jamie stared at the words for a few endless moments. Did she really think he hated her? He got to his feet and started pacing the floor, his head swimming. Then, without another thought, he ran for the door and down the stairs, thankful that he'd left his horse saddled in the yard. He knew if he hurried he just might make it in time.

* * *

"You'll write, won't you?" Charlie asked Beth as she gripped her hands. "You'll let us know your plans?"

"Of course I will. I promise." Beth hugged her tightly. "Be happy, Charlie."

"I am." Charlie smiled through her tears and then reached out to take Hannah from Lou's arms.

"Thank you for everything, Louise," Beth said with difficulty. She had no idea when she would see the family again, and she was not prepared for how lost she felt.

Lou didn't respond but embraced her instead. She pulled back and tried to find the words to say goodbye, but Beth just nodded and they went unsaid. The conductor called for them to board the train.

"Well, I guess this is it," Beth said as she took Hannah from Charlie.

"Have you got everythin' you need?" Kid asked.

"I do."

"And you'll wire us to let us know you arrived safely?"

Beth nodded again, her throat closing painfully. "I'll miss you all," she managed to say.

"Bye, Beth," said Ethan, and the others joined in the farewell.

Beth accepted the conductor's arm as she mounted the few steps into the train and then disappeared from view for few seconds before reappearing in her seat by the window. She started to wave goodbye when she suddenly saw Jamie. He mounted the stairs to the platform in a single stride, running over to the family who were crowded in front of the carriage.

"You made it," Lou said with relief.

"Sorry, delivery took longer than I expected," he explained through ragged breaths, his eyes not leaving Beth's. He reached up to grasp Hannah's hand which was poking through the open window.

"I'm glad you came." Beth had been sure she wouldn't see him, and didn't know what else to say.

"I'm sorry too," he said quietly.

The train whistle blew after the last of the carriage doors were closed. Beth felt panicked, suddenly not ready to go. She looked despairingly at Jamie, but all he could do was step back as the train started to pull away from the station. He held her gaze and raised his hand to bid them goodbye. Beth tried to smile and mirrored his gesture. Jake and Ethan ran along the length of the platform, waving wildly.

She craned her neck to keep them in her sights for as long as possible, but all too quickly they were gone. Beth sat back in her seat, hugging Hannah closer to her, and not caring that the other passengers saw her cry.

* * *

Three weeks later, after Rachel had returned to Denver, Lou slipped out of the house as dusk fell and walked to the creek. She knew that Jamie would be there, as he was most nights. He hadn't moved back into his old room after Beth left, choosing instead to camp out at the site where he was planning to build his house. The weather was still warm enough to sleep outdoors but she worried about how much time he was spending on his own. He rarely came to the ranch anymore, even for meals. Lou had bided her time, assuming his withdrawn behavior would only be temporary, but finally she decided to confront him.

He was warming a pot of coffee on a small camp fire when she approached.

"You got an extra cup for a visitor?" she asked, smiling down at him.

"Always." He poured her a mug of coffee and waited as she sat down beside him before handing it to her.

"Brought you some apple pie. Mrs. Greig made it 'specially for you."

"Thanks." He accepted the wrapped plate but did not open it.

Lou looked around at the peaceful surroundings and breathed deeply. "You picked a good spot, son. Guess we should get movin' on buildin' the house before winter sets in."

Jamie poked a long stick into the fire to settle it before replacing the coffee pot.

"I guess."

Lou frowned, wondering how she was going to get through to him. She had never known Jamie to be so despondent.

"If not you should move back to the ranch house. We haven't seen much of you lately. Seems to me you haven't been yourself since around the time Sally left."

Jamie shifted uncomfortably on the ground. He didn't want to head down that line of questioning with his mother. He tried a different tack.

"Ma, I been thinkin'… maybe I should break out on my own for a while. Head west. I could get work at another horse ranch. Maybe try drivin' cattle."

He waited until he'd finished speaking before glancing over to gage her reaction. She watched the fire thoughtfully and took her time before answering.

"Don't you think you'd be headin' in the wrong direction?" she asked eventually.

"What do you mean?"

"It's not too late to go after her. She ain't been gone long."

Jamie sighed tiredly. "Ma, I told you, Sally and I aren't together anymore."

"I'm not talkin' about Sally."

Lou raised her eyes and held his gaze with a steadiness that made him wary. He looked away nervously.

"Did Charlie say somethin' to you?"

"Charlie? No." She smiled kindly, nudging her foot against his. "You think I don't know when my son is in love?"

Jamie's cheeks burned as he struggled to respond. "It doesn't matter how I feel. Beth…"

"Beth what?"

"Nothin'," he mumbled, embarrassed.

"Have you asked her how she feels?"

"I don't have to, she made it perfectly clear."

"Don't be so sure. It can't be easy for her," Lou reasoned.

"She's Adam's wife." Jamie broke up another stick and threw it onto the fire.

"She was… I'm not sayin' it's not confusin' for you. But Adam would want you both to be happy, Jamie."

"I don't know…"

"Well, I do," said Lou insistently. "And I know why Beth would be strugglin' with this. I reckon the last person she thought she'd have feelin's for is his brother."

"It's not like that, Ma," he said with another sigh. "It's my fault she went home to St. Louis."

Lou cocked her head at him. "Why do you say that?"

"She doesn't want me. She told me so."

"Does she know how you feel about her?"

"Yeah."

"Did you tell her you love her?" Lou persisted.

"Well, no, not in so many words."

Lou stifled a laugh, which earned her a sharp look from Jamie. She shook her head indulgently at him.

"James Hunter Morgan, you are your father's son, you know that?" When he looked at her with a puzzled stare she went on, "How can you be sure she knows how you really feel unless you tell her?"

"I just know, Ma," he said impatiently. "She left because of me."

"Yep, I'd say you're right. But I don't think it was because she doesn't feel the same way you do. It's because she _does_, Jamie."

He was stunned into silence, not sure if he should believe her or not.

"How do you know?" he asked quietly.

Lou smiled knowingly. "Call it a mother's intuition."

Jamie looked back at the fire, lost in thought.

"Well?" Lou prompted.

"Well what?"

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"Not much to do," he said.

"Course there is. You got a choice to make. You can go out West and try to find somethin' to make you feel happy again, or you can go tell Beth how you feel."

"And if she doesn't care?"

"Well, then, at least you'll know for sure."

He paused again, making her wait. But Jamie knew in that moment what he needed to do. After Lou sighed in frustration at his lack of response he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

"When's the next train east?" he asked calmly.


	28. Chapter 28

Dearly Beloved

**Chapter 28**

Beth put her book aside when she realized she'd been reading the same page for the past ten minutes, and couldn't remember any of it. The loud talking and occasional guffaws of laughter meant her grandfather's soirée in the next room was still in full swing. Once a month a number of doctors he worked with at the hospital would spend the evening ostensibly discussing patients, but it was really an excuse to drink brandy and puff on cigars that left the parlor reeking of stale smoke. Beth had not been invited to join the men, leaving her on her own for the evening once more.

She sighed as she stared out at the rain beating against the window of the sitting room. Her sister-in-law was still confined to bed after Rudy's son had been born a week earlier, and Beth missed the other woman's company. She found herself feeling more lonely than she ever had in her life, so used to bustling life at the ranch with the large Morgan family was she. Beth thought it a sad irony that Rudy had always assumed she would feel alone out West. Her return to St. Louis and the city lifestyle left her feeling homesick – she had quickly come to the realization that her real home was in Sweetwater. But how she could go back there now, after everything that had happened, she did not know.

Beth decided she may as well turn in for the night, as sitting up worrying about matters was not going to solve anything. But when the door chime sounded she changed her mind, opting to make herself useful and saving their maid the journey down the stairs to answer it. Beth waved her away with a small smile as she left the room. Assuming the caller to be another of her grandfather's friends, she wasn't prepared for the sight of Jamie, rain streaming off the brim of his hat, huddled on the doorstep.

"Jamie! What…" she gasped. "What are you doing here?"

He thought to comment on the look of shock on her face, but the sight of her rendered him momentarily mute. He had forgotten how beautiful she was, and it took him a moment to recover. It afforded Beth the time to gather herself.

"Come in here, you're soaked," Beth instructed. She pulled him inside where he removed his hat and proceeded to drip all over the thick rug in the foyer.

"Hi," he said simply, as if he visited her in St. Louis every day.

"Hi?" She frowned, then immediately panicked when she contemplated why he had come. "Why are you here? Is everyone all right? Has something happened?"

"Everyone's fine."

Beth breathed a sigh of relief, but then nervousness set in when she saw the way he stared at her so fervently. She swallowed hard. "You're completely wet."

"I know." He chuckled to break the tension and his own trepidation. "Nice weather you have in this place."

"You'll catch your death. Come upstairs so you can dry off."

Jamie heard the male voices upstairs, and suspected there was a large gathering. He wasn't prepared for that, not when he had spent the entire train journey rehearsing what he would say to Beth. For that they needed to be alone.

"I'd rather not."

Beth couldn't stop the nervous fluttering in her stomach which was making rational thought difficult.

"In here then." She led him into what looked like a waiting room, then disappeared briefly behind another door.

He realized it was the doctor's office, no doubt her grandfather's or Rudy's. He looked around, immediately thinking about Adam and having to silence yet again the small voice which reminded him that Beth had been his brother's. And maybe she always would be. He was grateful when she returned with a towel and handed it to him, so he didn't have to listen to his own thoughts anymore.

"Thanks." He peeled off his drenched jacket and dried himself as best he could.

She watched him without speaking, her chest rising and falling faster than usual. Neither of them seemed able to start a conversation. Beth eventually forced herself to take the initiative.

"Jamie, what are you doing here?" she asked again.

"I- I forgot to tell you something… before you left."

Beth inwardly grimaced. "You said plenty. So did I."

"No, I didn't. I said all the wrong things."

"What have you got to say that made you come all this way?"

Jamie cast the towel aside and took a deep breath. "I-… What I mean to say is… Beth, I think we should get married."

Her cheeks flamed red. "What?"

"I can look after you and Hannah," he reasoned, ticking off the points he had so carefully prepared. "You need a husband and she needs a father, not that I'm suggesting to replace her real father… but someone to look out for her. For both of you. To give you a home of your own so you're not living under someone else's roof. To provide for you. And, well, I can give you that."

Jamie finished in a rush, knowing he was rambling, and completely unused to his sudden lack of confidence. He had sounded more polished in his mind, but he hoped she would understand his arguments. He looked at her expectantly, not prepared for the stunned silence with which he was met. Jamie started worrying when she still did not speak after several moments.

"Uh… I know I haven't exactly gone about this the right way," he continued hesitantly. "The way I acted before… You have no idea how much I regret it. But this is the right thing to do. We should get married."

Beth took a few steps away from him, her eyes downcast. "Jamie, stop. I know you care about Hannah but you're not responsible for taking care of us. I think you're a good and honorable man and if you thought, as Adam's brother, you have to look after his widow…"

She met his gaze, raising her chin determinedly. "But I don't need your pity or your charity. I have a home here. I can provide for my daughter myself."

"Pity you?" He frowned, closing the gap between them. "You think that's why I came all the way from Sweetwater?"

Tears pricked her eyes as she stared at him. "Isn't it?"

Jamie's face softened. His mother had been right, she really didn't know how he felt. "Beth, I came here to tell you that I love you."

Her eyes dropped to the floor once more. "Oh."

"I know it's different for you. That no one could ever take Adam's place… I don't mean to do that."

Beth nodded numbly. "He's Hannah's father. He'll always be part of our lives and I'll always love him."

Jamie felt a familiar sinking feeling in his stomach. He had known that, but hearing it from her so plainly still hurt. Everything he wanted was slipping away. But then she looked up at him, a small smile appearing on her lips as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

"But that doesn't mean I don't love you too."

"What?" he breathed, hardly believing it.

"I said I love you too."

Jamie's chest swelled as a smile tugged at his mouth. "Why didn't you say so, back at the ranch?"

"Why didn't you tell me you loved me?" she countered lightly.

"I should have. I thought maybe if I didn't say it…"

"You could pretend it wasn't true?"

"Yeah."

"Me too." They shared an embarrassed grin.

"Seems kinda silly now," he admitted.

The worried look returned to Beth's face. "I don't know… How do you think the family will feel? You saw Charlie's reaction. What about the rest of them? Your mother?"

"She already knows."

"She does?"

"Who do you think convinced me to come here? She knew… She knew that you're the only woman I love. The only one I want to marry."

Beth blushed anew. "Your mother's a very smart lady."

Jamie reached out and took her hands in his. "They want us to be happy, Beth. I want to make you happy, if you'll have me. Even if it means staying here in the city, I don't care."

She smiled at his offer, her eyes twinkling playfully. "What on earth would you do in the city?"

"I have no idea." They laughed together until he reached up and cupped one hand against her cheek. "But I'd do anything for you."

"I can think of one thing," she said quietly. "You can take us home."

His hand slipped behind her head as he kissed her deeply in response.

* * *

He offered to stay and be married in St. Louis so Beth's family could be there, but this time, at her insistence, the ceremony was to take place in Sweetwater in front of the entire Morgan family. It gave Beth the opportunity to talk to Kid and Lou, to reassure herself they did not think badly of her, and to make sure Charlie would also be accepting of her marrying Jamie. Beth didn't know if it was the fact that Charlie was now a married woman herself, but she understood that they were not betraying Adam, and that they really did love each other.

"I'll give you my blessing on one condition," Charlie stated seriously. "You're here now for good, no more going away."

"Promise," Beth replied.

Jamie smiled at them both, having just returned from the creek where a pile of lumber was waiting to build their new house. Lou had seen to that, ordering it as soon as Jamie left. She had no doubt of the outcome of his visit to St. Louis.

The wedding was small, with only the family in attendance. There was no need for wedding feasts and dancing and all the other trappings. Jamie and Beth were contented to have the people they loved witness their promise to each other.

Lou wiped at her eyes as she sat next to Kid in the small Sweetwater church. When the minister intoned the familiar words of "dearly beloved, we are gathered here…", Lou thought no truer words had been spoken.


	29. Chapter 29

Dearly Beloved

**Epilogue**

Jamie spent most of the day looking for things to do in the barn. He knew he was really hiding out, and a grown man should probably be better able to handle such a natural thing as a baby being born. Nevertheless it wasn't until he heard the weak crying from the ranch house that he returned inside.

He ran through the door, skidding to a halt as he reached the others waiting in the parlor.

"Well?" he gasped, but no one responded.

Instead they all looked to the stairs as light footsteps were heard. Within moments Beth appeared, a huge grin on her face. She crossed the room to stand before a very anxious Ben.

"You have a son," she stated, her voice calm despite her great excitement.

Ben let out a deep breath, but his eyes were still anxious. "And Charlie? Is she…?"

"Charlie is just fine. She's asking for you."

Relief flooded his face and he pulled Beth into a tight hug. She laughed in response and had to peel his arms from around her shoulders when he didn't let go.

"Get up there, Papa," she said happily.

Kid clapped him on the back as they both went upstairs to meet the new arrival.

"Good, another boy," Jake said contentedly. He glanced at Hannah who was on the floor next to him playing with her doll. "Not that I don't mind a girl every now and then."

"I'm glad to hear it," replied Beth.

"Girls aren't so bad," Ethan chimed up from the couch where he had been reading during their long wait.

"Especially Susan Nichols, right?" Jake responded teasingly, which earned him a swift punch in the arm from his brother.

Beth crossed over to the entrance to the parlor where her husband was standing.

"Let me guess, you've been down in the barn," she murmured as she wrapped her arms around him and planted a kiss on his jaw.

"I had a lot of work to do," he said defensively, enclosing her in an embrace.

"You know, you are going to have to get over this eventually."

"I have five months to prepare myself, I'll be fine." He smiled down at her, just able to feel the slight swell of her belly between them.

"Good." Beth stood on her toes to kiss him properly.

Not to be left out, Hannah tugged at her mother's skirts and raised her arms to be picked up. Jamie did the honors.

"Come on, baby girl," he said. He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around them both.

* * *

_FIN_


End file.
